I called my soon-to-be ex-doctor’s office today to ask for my long overdue blood test results from May 17. After wading through the phone menu system that starts with “If this is a medical emergency, hang up and dial 911…” and selecting all the right options, then listening to on-hold music for four minutes, I got a human being. The conversation went something like this:
Human Being: Internal medicine.
Me: Good morning, Internal Medicine.
HB: Yes?
Me: So, is it a good morning around there?
HB: Not particularly.
Me: Well, that’s too bad. It’s going to get worse. I need to know what it will take to get my blood test results that you’ve had for three weeks.
HB: It takes 7-10 days to get results back.
Me: That’s a crock. This is the only medical practice I’ve dealt with where simple blood tests take that long. I typically get results back in less than a week. In fact, you’ve delayed this one long enough that I’ve already received the lab bill and paid it.
HB: Sorry about that. Well, I know she just sent out a bunch of cards yesterday. [If you read my previous posts on the subject, you recall that I was told that if the test results are normal, I would get a postcard, and if there were anomalies, I would get a phone call.]
HB: Your name?
Me: [my name]
HB: Do you want me to pull your chart?
Me: I want my results. What do I have to do?
HB: I can get your chart and call you back.
Me: You know, maybe I should just go there and pick it up.
HB: Then, you would have to call “Medical Records” and request it.
Me: In other words, take a hike? ????? ???? ?????
HB: No, I’m just telling you that if you want to pick up your records, that’s who you’ll have to call.
Me: I don’t know that I want to deal with your screwed up practice at all. ???? ????? Given that it takes five months to schedule a physical and three weeks plus to get blood test results and then it’s like pulling teeth…
HB: Do you want me to call you?
Me: Yes, please call me.
Well, that was before 10 AM. It is now 7:30 PM. Predictably, she didn’t call. ?????? ??? ???????? Stay tuned…
Discover more from The Nittany Turkey
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Patricia Madden says
That is completely unacceptable. It sounds more like a scam than a professional medical outfit.