The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2006

Archives for 2006

Paterno Sculpture Musings

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I’m back from my Pennsylvania vacation, having spent one afternoon and evening in State College, first walking around the Penn State campus and then later, wining and dining downtown. I returned with a little Nittany Lion football quiz for you.

I visited the All-Sports Museum, making a couple of purchases in the obligatory gift shop. At one point in the football section of the museum I had to laugh out loud when the PA system blared out a recording of Paterno addressing the troops in the locker room with the Hamlet’s “To Be or Not To Be” soliloquy, Joe’s all-time favorite. The old coach was, of course, a contemporary of William Shakespeare. But I digress.

Around the corner from the All-Sports Musem, on the east side of Beaver Stadium, is the famous Paterno sculpture by Angelo di Maria. I spent some time examining it and photographing its nuances. In this connection, I have some questions for you savvy Nittany Lions fans.

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Project Planet?

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I know I told you that I would be on vacation, but I can’t help writing about something that has titillated me for quite a while. I was reminded of it this evening when I finally got my hotel room (quite an adventure in itself, as the dyslexic desk clerk transposed two digits of the room number, sending me to the erroneous one with a key to match, much to the chagrined surprise of the room’s real occupants—but I digress). Letting myself into my room I instantly spotted the placard on the pillow. There it was—the thinly veiled attempt by the hotel’s management to save labor, water, and detergent costs while convincing us that through our valiant compliance with the “program” we’re saving the planet from an imminent environmental disaster. Yes, my faithful readers, it was the dreaded Project Planet guilt card!

Change the Sheets

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A Break from the Heat

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This Turkey will be on vacation from July 20 to July 31.

My safari will take me to Lion country (Nittany variety). I shall prostrate myself before the Paterno statue and atone for all the negative gibes I have slung in his direction past, present and future (that he may continue to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune to which he frequently alludes).

I leave The Nittany Turkey in the capable hands of The Redhead, confident that she will write whatever soothing, informative, or inflammatory words she sees fit to write, and that she will deflect any lawsuits that my published excoriations might precipitate in my absence.