The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home 2007 Archives for May 2007

Archives for May 2007

Is Paris Burning?

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Is Paris Burning?America’s darling, young heiress Paris Hilton, was sentenced to 45 days behind bars today. No, she was not convicted of producing a dull and boring porn film. Those charges are still pending. Our favorite 26 year-old party girl drove on a license previously suspended during a DUI episode. ??? ??????? So now, she’ll be leading “The Simple Life”—literally—for a month and a half. ????? ???????

Paris showed up 10 minutes late for her trial. Great start! Go ahead and piss off the judge so you can be sure of getting the most stringent sentence possible. ??? ???? ?????? She will not be allowed to buy her way into the country club prison of her choice and she will not be accorded any vehicles for reducing the time served. She has the right to appeal. She’ll probably do that, further wasting the public funds.

Boy, did this idiot ever get what she deserved!

Charges Against King Dropped

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Today’s preliminary hearing relating to the great Ruckus at the Meridian yielded a surprise result—all charges against starting cornerback Justin King were dropped.

What does this mean? Hell, I don’t know. You have to get into the mindset of a district attorney to understand the logic behind that. What it means to the team, of course, is that we can be pretty much assured of having King’s services at one corner.

So, could King, who tried to portray himself as the peacemaker in his depo, have been exonerated because of insufficient evidence against him? Or could he jave cut a deal involving turning state’s evidence against the other guys? (Yeah, I know. I watch too much Law & Order.)

A lot of testimony was given today. In another crucial moment, a so-called witness failed to identify Christopher Baker. (This witness was seen engaging in a heated discussion with a group of large men on East Beaver last night—yeah, yeah…just kidding.)

I still believe that everybody but King is in a heap o’ trouble.

No word yet from PSU Judicial Affairs or from Paterno.