The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home 2007 Archives for December 2007

Archives for December 2007

Alamo Bowl Match-up Set

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It’s the Aggies

It was announced today that Texas A&M (7-5, 4-4 Big 12) will be Penn State’s (8-4, 4-4 Big Ten) opponent in the Valero Alamo Bowl, to be held in San Antonio, Texas on December 29. The game is being hyped as a rematch of the 1999 Alamo Bowl, in which the Nittany Lions cleaned the Aggies’ clocks 24-0.

Of course, any comparison of 1999 and 2007 is strictly hype. However, this might turn out to be the most beatable of any of the various bowl opponents the Lions could have drawn. They’re not in it over their heads, and that’s a good thing. This Turkey will be back atcha with counterhypical observations and punctilious predictions sometime between now and the fifth day of Christmas.

In the meanwhile, the bowl picture solidified today. Let’s look at some stuff.

Other Noteworthy Big Ten Bowls

It is going to be a bad, bad, superbad year for the Big Ten once again in post-season play. Penn State and Wisconsin might well have the best chances at winning.

Michigan, however, will be decimated by Florida in the Capital One Bowl. The Wolverines could have wound up with a winnable game had Illinois not been selected for a BCS bowl, as UM would have then played in the Champ’s Sports Bowl.

As for Illinois, lots of luck in the Rose Bowl with USC. You might recall that USC and LSU were everyone’s pre-season picks for the still somewhat mythical national championship (SSMNC). Well, USC had some rough breaks along the way and won’t play in the SSNMC Good Hands Bowl (brought to you from New Orleans by the folks who wouldn’t pay your Katrina claim). Instead, they’ll get to feast on the bowl-starved Illini, who haven’t seen Pasadena since 1984 and who will pay dearly for their comeuppance this year. The Zookster will make his presence known in the BCS in the future, but this year might just be embarrassing.

Similarly, the gratuitous extra Allstate It Don’t Decide Nothin’ Bowl for the SSMNC will feature another overmatched Big Ten squad getting crushed, this time by SEC opponent LSU. The Ohio State Buckeyes managed to get in the back door, just when it looked like they would be relegated to the Grandaddy of Them All. While LSU hasn’t looked impressive of late, they’re playing in a tougher conference and they’ve been beaten up. The recuperative layoff should bring back the Tigers many of us thought could win it all—and they will. Another “woulda coulda shoulda” chance for tOSU, sadly (but not too sadly).

In the Outback Bowl, Wisconsin has drawn a beatable opponent. Tennessee is coming off a tough loss to LSU but they should prevail against the Badgers. Well, they should have prevailed against the Nittany Lions last year, too. This Turkey thinks they’ll get screwed again this year.

Moo U. will face Boston College in the Champs Sports Bowl. Who knows which Michigan State team will show up that day? One thing is for certain—the over/under is likely to be the biggest of all the bowl games.

Another bowl-starved up-and-comer, Indiana, will square off with Oklahoma State in the Insight Bowl. I have no great insights into this game. (Get it? Get it?)

We round out the Big Ten Bowl picture with the Purdue Boilermakers traveling to that dream vacation winter wonderland, Detroit, to play the MAC champs, the Central Michigan Chippewas, in the Motor City Bowl. Detroit is not far at all from Kohler, Wisconsin, and it represents the epitome of rust-belt fun vacation spots. Reminds me of a Russian travel brochure touting the wonders of a power plant tour.

Joe Wants to Coach Another 3,4,5 Years…

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Now that we know that Joe Paterno earns a salary of a little more than half a mil per annum (see this Post-Gazette article), which puts him in the bottom quartile of Big Ten coaches, we’re also finding out what he thinks about coaching beyond the end of his current contract, set to expire after the 2008 season. He wants to coach, “…maybe three, four, five more years as long as the good Lord keeps me healthy.”

“I think the perfect ending is you drop dead at the end of a game after you’ve kicked the winning field goal and you’re carried off the field and everybody is singing, ‘So long, Joe. It’s been wonderful.’ ”

This Turkey wonders how it will actually play out. One thing is for certain—the on-line grousing and grumbling will increase in volume and Paterno will be cast yet again as a stubborn, selfish old man, a drag on the program, bla bla bla, ad nauseam. Face it, folks: it’s hard to foresee there being much originality in the coverage this issue will get because it has been beaten to death repeatedly over the past decade. I challenge bloggists and legitimate journalists to come at this thing from new angles to keep us entertained instead of boring us to tears with the same old “Joe Must Go” crap.

As for this Turkey, I’m on the fence. While I’ve perceived a decline in coaching efficacy—from my admittedly naïve viewpoint—I also believe that Paterno has done a great deal to earn his elite status. He put this Penn State football program on the map. He personally funded a major library expansion. If indeed he has outlived his usefulness to the program, it is sad that he cannot see it. It brings to mind the end of Muhammad Ali’s boxing career: after losing to Leon Spinks, he gave us a brief flash of hope when he won the rematch, then was torn apart by Larry Holmes, and in his final fight, had nothing at all left for journeyman stumblebum Trevor Berbick. Joe gave us that false hope back in 2005, but he is now showing his age. He really should retire before he looks like Ali did with Holmes and Berbick, else he runs the risk of being remembered that way. But Paterno has shown that he gets what he wants from the administration at Penn State, so don’t bet against him dying with his boots on.

It’s the Alamo Bowl

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Valero Alamo BowlIt is now official. The Nittany Lions have accepted an invitation to play in the Valero Alamo Bowl. The game is on December 29, in San Antonio. Joe Paterno will be 81 by that time. For those of you who haven’t been to San Antone, you gotta do the partyin’ on the River Walk thang at least once in your life, so peradventure why not take this opportunity, man? The likely opponent for this inconsequential bowl game will be either Texas A&M or Texas Tech (or if they don’t show up due to disinterest, the McCabe Sisters will fill in). The Turkey will return sometime between now and game day with an assessment and a prediction, just in case anyone cares.

In a statement released by Penn State, the octogenarian head coach of the Nittany Lions said, “This team has worked hard all season and has been a great group to work with. I’m happy for the squad that their efforts will be rewarded with an opportunity to go to San Antonio.”

For all of you who were thinking that nothing less than a BCS bowl would be acceptable this year given the talent level of the Penn State team, please retire that opium pipe and find a less hallucinogenic form of recreation. This season’s descent from pipe dream heaven to South Texas was not a fluke. We’ll most likely be hanging around mid- to lower-tier bowl games for the foreseeable future.