PSU: Theatre of the Absurd

So here I am—I who said that I didn’t want to write about off-field incidents and Paterno’s future during the off-season—yet again writing about off-field incidents and Paterno’s future. Just a few tidbits here for you today.

1. Defensive tackle Phil Taylor has been sanctioned by Judicial Affairs for his involvement in last October’s HUB fracas. He’ll finish up his spring classes (Playground Management, Advanced Weight Lifting, and Applied Bling Maintenance) and then be suspended for the summer semester and banned from dorms forever. Of course, that doesn’t mean that he’s off the team in the fall. He can just get a nice condo at Toftrees and whatnot. Yo! You know what I’m sayin’? See the Post-Gazette story.
2. PSU President Graham Spanier has put the quietus on further discussions of head coach Joe Paterno’s contract, stating that there will be no more contracts for Joe, essentially putting him on a year-to-year basis and defusing the media firestorm that threatened to engulf the entire campus by its entrails (or some such mixed metaphor that only I could come up with as it approaches 3 AM). This could mean one of three things: a) Paterno will retire or be retired at the end of the 2008 season, b) Paterno will not retire or be retired at the end of the 2008 season, or c) none of the above. The whole thing has been much ado about nothing. Paterno will continue to have the upper hand and he’ll step down when he’s damn good and ready. This move takes the heat off Spanier and Curley to name a successor, as they are no doubt sick and tired of being harangued by the press and broadcast media every time they turn around. So, what does this mean, really? I don’t know. I’ll tell you later. Spanier said, “We are in agreement that a contract would have little practicality, given coach Paterno’s seniority.” In other words, the contract could outlive Joe or Joe could outlive the contract. Still grand scale obfuscation. Nevertheless, perhaps these revelations will end the rampant, off-the-wall speculation by vast numbers of self-appointed experts about “what is going to happen.” Or not. See the story in the Post-Gazette.
3. Linebacker Sean Lee has suffered a serious knee injury in practice Friday. Details of the diagnostic work will be known soon as will the extent and implications of the injury.

Sean Lee aside, we need some serious image adjustments. This stuff is wearing us all down. This is not the Penn State all of us know and love. Something’s gotta give here.