While Hillary Clinton was kicking ass in Pennsylvania (go Hillary!), the XX-chromosome crew was making all the noise on American Idol. Two of them, Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson rocked the house, while the other, Brooke White, went down in flames.
Mercado’s vamp number, for which she was appropriately attired in a clingy, revealing crimson dress made it clear that she would replace the departed Kristy as my eye candy until she is finally eliminated—which means another week or two at most. Speaking of the XX crew, Syesha’s rating had to be on that side of PG-13. ????? ??? ????
Smithson absolutely nailed her performance of Jesus Christ, Superstar, which I ranked as best of the evening. Carly has had a problem picking songs that can showcase her powerful voice. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? She was headed for yet another material selection judgment error but she was redirected by none other than Andrew Lloyd Webber, who chose the perfect song for her.
The usually strong David Archuleta was boring. David Cook did the best he could with material that was well outside his comfort zone. Jason Castro was abysmally amateurish.
And so it was that on this night, the women outdid the men. Well, except for Brooke White. Calamity Brooke started singing and then stopped the band because she forgot the lyrics. Restarting her number, she sang it all the way through with her usual emotional involvement, which has never thrilled me. I don’t think that is what this audience is looking for, anyway. It is a popularity contest and, let’s face it, Brooke’s kind of pathos is off-putting at times.
Tonight, I ranked Carly first, then Syesha, then the two Davids (tied), then Jason, and Brooke on the bubble. Jason was weak enough to be eliminated, but I think it will be Brooke (thus guaranteeing that she’ll be around another week). ????? ????
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The Redhead says
Hi Turkey,
I’ll be a little late for the evening’s proceedings since I work until 9pm.
The Redhead.
The Redhead says
By the way, I read your comment in the Sentinel TV blog!
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, I was impelled to say something because Boedecker was so far off the mark.
—TNT
The Nittany Turkey says
The Idols did “That’s All I Ask of You” with Andrew Lloyd Webber accompanying on the piano. Sucked.
The Nittany Turkey says
Before we get to the results, we’ll take a look at last night’s “very dramatic show.”
—Seacrest
The Nittany Turkey says
They tortured Brooke, showing her screwup and its aftermath.
The Nittany Turkey says
And here he is, Andrew Lloyd Webber.
The Nittany Turkey says
We’re filling time with Andrew Lloyd Webber inanities.
The Nittany Turkey says
Endless commercials.
The Nittany Turkey says
We’ll get around to eliminating people sometime soon.
The Nittany Turkey says
But first, a Ford commercial.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now, George and Laura will thank us for giving to Idol Gives Back.
The Nittany Turkey says
We have a pair of stools reserved for the bottom two. Who leaves us tonight?
The Nittany Turkey says
Davids are on da spot.
The Nittany Turkey says
He’s milking this. They’re both going to be safe.
The Nittany Turkey says
And they are.
The Nittany Turkey says
Next week will be Neil Diamond night. We’re heading for a break.
The Nittany Turkey says
Interminable break, which will be followed by some Simon Cowell discovery singing.
The Nittany Turkey says
Prediction: Carly and Syesha will come out next and be safe, leaving Jason and Brooke to sit in the Stools of Death.
The Nittany Turkey says
Now we’re visiting all the former Idols on Broadway.
The Nittany Turkey says
The Number One selling new artist in the world…singing Bleeding Love is Leona Lewis, a Simon discovery.
The Redhead says
Hi Turkey! What’s going on? Who is this singer?
The Nittany Turkey says
Nothing like flames to light up a stage.
The Nittany Turkey says
Good Evening, Ms. Redhead.
The Nittany Turkey says
That would be Leona Lewis, a Simon Cowell discovery.
The Redhead says
Brooke and Jason: In the bottom 2.
The Nittany Turkey says
Uh, oh…one of them will sit in the Seat of Death.
The Redhead says
I think Brooke knows she’s in big trouble.
The Nittany Turkey says
Brooke is always choked up.
The Nittany Turkey says
I think I need to stop watching this thing.
The Redhead says
Turkey!!! I cannot f–in believe this. What are they smoking?
The Nittany Turkey says
This is too weird.
The Redhead says
I don’t get it,Turkey. It’s got to be one of those groups that is voting for the worst singers to stay in the competition.
The Nittany Turkey says
This season has been completely unpredictable. I have no idea what they’re smoking.
The Redhead says
This show is losing credibility with me.
The Nittany Turkey says
Me too.
The Nittany Turkey says
But it’s the 11 year-old doing the voting.
The Nittany Turkey says
And if the other occupant of the bottom two stools is Carly, you know that the fix is in.
The Redhead says
They probably gave Brooke the “sympathy vote.”
The Redhead says
It wouldn’t surprise me if Jason was safe–that’s the way this show is going.
The Nittany Turkey says
I can’t predict shit anymore!
The Nittany Turkey says
Wow! Look at Carly.
The Redhead says
No sleeves for Carly tonight–she figures “what the hell?”
The Redhead says
I see Carly going to the bottom two.
The Nittany Turkey says
Seacrest didn’t watch the show last night?
The Redhead says
I KNEW IT!!!!
What the f–k????
The Nittany Turkey says
You are right. I guess you figured that out because nothing is going as we thought it would.
The Redhead says
The fans were offended because she sang a “critical” song about Jesus.
The Redhead says
Why is she singing? I thought only the losing person had to repeat the song, and that’s at the end of the show?
The Nittany Turkey says
So, they chose these two because they had the two most spirited performances last night and they would make good closing numbers?
The Redhead says
They didn’t have Syesha sing, did they?
The Nittany Turkey says
Right. So Brooke should be singing. I guess they didn’t have enough filler material tonight.
The Nittany Turkey says
She’s going to sing next.
The Redhead says
Yeah, that seems to be the way the producers are playing it.
What a bunch of b–s–t.
The Nittany Turkey says
So, I guess that mean Syesha is gone, eh? Last one to sing goes?
The Redhead says
She sang it better tonight. Maybe she’s been tipped off that she’s going home.
The Redhead says
I predict Syesha will get the boot tonight. Jazz is lost on these clowns.
The Redhead says
Her voice sounds pretty weak.
The Nittany Turkey says
Carly is having an intense conversation with Seacrest.
The Redhead says
Yeah, I saw that.
Does Seacrest have anything to do with the way the voting goes?
The Nittany Turkey says
Supposedly, no one can manipulate what America decides.
The Redhead says
Maybe they’re both getting the boot tonight.
The Redhead says
I don’t believe this competition is not fixed.
The Nittany Turkey says
You think Seacrest brokered a deal with Carly?
The Nittany Turkey says
It has to be fixed. Taylor Hicks beat Katharine McPhee.
The Nittany Turkey says
And who can explain Clay Aiken?
The Redhead says
I don’t know but I think this show is rigged to create controversy this season. Hasn’t there been rumblings of a slide in the ratings, etc?
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, but it’s not apparent in the voting. They got 37 million votes this week—or they lied about it.
The Redhead says
It’s better to piss people off than to be predictable is probably their thinking.
The Redhead says
Of course they lie–it’s Hollywood.
The Nittany Turkey says
Here we go!
The Redhead says
Here’s the moment of truth.
The Redhead says
Wrong again.
Jeez.
The Nittany Turkey says
Sucks the big one.
The Redhead says
She really pissed off the Jesus Freaks.
The Nittany Turkey says
She had potential to be in the top two, per my Turkeyesque assessment.
The Redhead says
I don’t think we can safely assume that the two Davids have a lock on this thing.
The Redhead says
I mean, can you imagine: Brooke White, 2008’s American Idol????
The Redhead says
I think the critics should really lay into this show now.
The Nittany Turkey says
Or Jason Castro.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, our own Hal Boedecker is not going to lay into this show.
The Redhead says
I can’t believe Brooke is safe–it’s that Sheryl Crow thing. Unbelievable.
The Redhead says
Hal’s lost it.
The Nittany Turkey says
More insipid music next week!
The Redhead says
I dig the Diamond.
Well, Turkey. Life ain’t fair, espeically if you’re playing the game on AI.
The Nittany Turkey says
Brooke was so clearly the pit bottom this week. How the hell could she not even make the bottom two?
The Redhead says
Go post on Hal’s blog, Turkey!
Had fun! See you for more tears and surprises next week.
The Nittany Turkey says
LA’s fine but it ain’t home; New York’s fine but it ain’t home no more.
The Nittany Turkey says
This was ridiculous! Seeya! Goodnight!
The Redhead says
I Am I Said
cried Carly.
The Redhead says
See you next week!