Last night on an American Idol show that Simon Cowell proclaimed the weirdest of all, the droll judge told Syesha Mercado that she would be leaving us tonight.
I have to concur—not because she sang poorly, but because she was in the bottom two last week after delivering what was arguably the best job of the week, and certainly the best dressed. If the prepubescent girls who comprise the lion’s share of the voting populace are not behind Syesha, she will be a loser no matter how well she does (and looks) on the stage.
You have to believe that Jason Castro will survive another week for the same reason. The teeny-boppers like his dreadlocks, and there ya go. His singing was pure crap on Tuesday night, which I likened to an imprompty college dorm sing-along on a Friday night attended by losers who couldn’t get laid. Bring your guitar and let’s jam, man. Yeah, and wonder why you can’t get laid.
Well, Jason could, but his groupies are of an age group that would land him in jail if he did.
Speaking of jail bait, young David Archuleta is boring my ass more and more each week. He sings everything the same, and while his voice is great and powerful and he hits all the right notes, there’s more to being an entertainer than that. Nevertheless, his fan base is strong, albeit not yet hormonal. He’ll be in there at the end, as everybody has been predicting all along.
Dear Brookie was her usual weird self and she deserves to go, but as we noted last week, she has a large fan base of her own. She was a nanny, so it is natural for little rich kids to want to vote for her, as they would all like to have her instead of their own sadistic nannies.
Finally, David Cook, who is this Turkey’s favorite, might have a rough time of it because he appeals to an older crowd. That would be the 13-21 year-old group. However, we expect him to share the stage at the Kodak Theater on the final night this season.
To recap, popularity contests suck, and Syesha draws the short straw this week.
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The Redhead says
Well, the Turkey isn’t here…he’s missing Cracklin’ Rosie, the Group Sing. And I’ve got to tell you, ISS which means, It Super Sucks.
They should have done Holly Holy–they would have had the “choir,” and would’ve been staying in the “inspirational” theme of this season.
Oh! It’s a medley. Now they’ve switched to Song Sung Blue. Still sucks. Actually ISS. I mean they are really off.
Okay, now they’re doing Bro Love. Hey Turkey, it was bound to happen!
Now it’s getting better, and I hate to admit why–the Davids are in control with the lead vocals.
That’s it. An abrupt ending..on to a commercial. Really weird. It’s sort of fitting that the maker of LSD died today.
The Redhead says
Here’s Ryan and here we go.
Some “old” idols are back. Here’s Gina from last season.
Here’s Carrie Underwood’s Idol Stamp, now available at your post office–whoo!
And now it’s a recap of last night with “mentor” Neil Diamond.
The Redhead says
Watching this recap, I believe that David A. is even more boring than last night.
Brooke “Sheryl Crow” will be here for another week.
So will the dreamy Jason Castro.
Ick. There’s that annoying David A. again with Coming to America.
Yeah, yeah, we know Paula loves David C.
The Redhead says
OOOOHHHH, Ryan is talking about Paula’s mistake last night…the “rumors” aren’t true…she’s still “part of our family.” What were the rumors? That she was stoned??? I’ve got to read up!
The Redhead says
Here’s the first possible eject:
Jason, you are…
SAFE.
The 11 year olds have spoken.
We knew it, Turkey. We’re thinking like teenyboppers now.
The Redhead says
Here’s The Yawner, David A.
He is……………………………………………………………
duhhhhhhhh
SAFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
The Redhead says
Ryan’s calling the kid by his last name now.
It’s going to be Cook and Archuletta (sp?).
The final two.
The Redhead says
I bet the “rumors” are that Paula is going to be packing up soon.
Okay. I really think Syesha is going home tonight, Turkey. Jason is safe. It’s gonna happen unless we’ve completely misread the Brooke “Sheryl Crow” thing.
But I don’t think we have.
The Redhead says
Okay. I’ve just read one Canadian blog which says “Paula needs to stop getting lit” before showtime.
Time to switch to the soft stuff?
The Redhead says
Now they are having weird outtakes from dancing competitions—why????
I don’t get it.
I guess it’s the “show biz is tough” thing.
The Redhead says
Another news blog says it’s time for Paula to say goodbye.
You don’t bring us flowers anymore.
The Redhead says
David Cook is safe. It’s down to Brooke and Syesha.
The Redhead says
Ryan is talking to the two girls…they look scared.
YIKES!!!!!!
The Redhead says
Brooke says she’s been having fun, in a “happy, grateful mode.”
Ryan has sent them to the couch “to rest” for a moment.
We await Natasha and Neil and the performance of a lifetime.
The Redhead says
I’ve been reading more about what happened with Paula. A number of websites seem to think she was “drunk, stoned, or heavily medicated.”
Hmmm….I wonder which.
The Redhead says
Ya know, it’s too easy to say, but Paula does sound like she’s tipsy on the show.
The Redhead says
Here’s Natasha. She’s singing solo, sans Neil.
Who is this dame? I’ve never heard of her until last night.
I bet The Turkey digs her.
The Redhead says
She looks more mature, not like the usual kid stuff.
The Redhead says
She sounds sort of like a rappin’ Dusty Springfield.
Turkey, did you read that a movie is being planned about Dusty with…get ready for this…Nicole Kidman playing the singer?
The Redhead says
Now I’m thinking that Natasha is the female Seal.
The Redhead says
Ryan is chatting up Natasha who turns out to be pretty young.
Who knew?
The Redhead says
Ryan says David A. wants to ask Natasha to the prom however Natasha has a boyfriend.
Sorry, Elmo!
The Redhead says
Paula sounds like she’s been through a bad day of crappy publicity.
Suck it up, babe. That’s show biz.
The Redhead says
They’re taking questions from viewers now. Pretty lame stuff.
Will Paula and Randy do another video together?
Paula: “We’re gonna keep on dancin’ like there’s no tomorrow.”
You go, girls!
The Redhead says
Simon asks a listener–who turns out to be the first girl he ever kissed (when he was nine years old)– if she still “looks cute.” Simon says she was his “first crush.”
Paula asked the caller if she’s gotten over the rabies.
Good one, Paula!
The Redhead says
And we’re back!
It’s a commercial with the group singing Donovan’s Catch the Wind.
When is Donovan coming on the show???
The Redhead says
Ryan is now introducing Neil Diamond singing a tune off his new album,
Pretty Amazing Grace.
More religion!
The Redhead says
Neil’s playing an acoustic guitar and singin’ a mellow song
but he’s wearin’ a black leather jacket.
This isn’t a bad tune
but it’s not
Play Me.
The Redhead says
The lyrics are actually pretty humble and heavy for AI.
Rock it, Neil.
The Redhead says
Well, this is a bit too downbeat. Def. not Cherry Cherry.
The Redhead says
He’s still got the voice though.
Pretty amazing
grace 🙂
The Redhead says
Neil’s mom’s in the audience.
She’s 123 years old.
Just kiddin’!!!!
The Redhead says
Neil loves “the gig.” He’s never gonna retire.
He’s The Diamond.
What’s the key to a long career asks Ryan?
Lotta work. Lotta luck.
And how were last night’s contestants, Neil?
“Well…ah…little rough, little rough…”
You said it, Neil.
Simon says he and Neil “have a history” and it doesn’t sound so good.
Aww, come on guys, break break and drink some
Red Red Wine….stay close to me….ooooooo ooooooo…
The Redhead says
That is, break BREAD, and sip some red red wine….
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The Redhead says
Here we go with the ejection of the week.
The Redhead says
Thirty seconds and counting:
America has voted…
Goodbye to…..
Brooke!
Turkey, we were wrong, again.
Brooke is shocked and sobbing.
There’s so much drama, I don’t think I can stand it!
The Redhead says
So long, Nanny Brooke. There is so much drama in the world, I know you’ll be okay.
The Redhead says
Bye Bye Brooke….Celebrate Me Home…
Pack you bags, babe–
you, gone!
The Redhead says
She’s still cryin’ and Ryan’s wiping her tears with a tissue.
AWWWWW.
Now she’s singing the song, I Am I Said…and she’s cryin..cause she’s Arizona born and raised…
She is she said…
to no one there…
not even the chair…
but the whole AI audience heard
poor lost Brooke
leaving us lonely still.
The Redhead says
That’s it Turkey!
See you next week!
The Nittany Turkey says
And then, there were four…