After watching tonight’s Idol, I have to revise my prediction. If Jason stays around past tomorrow night, I won’t be able to watch this shit sober anymore!
This clown put on such an amateurish act that he stunk up the place—twice! His first number, “I Shot the Sheriff,” was a tribute to his all-time hero, Bob Marley. If that song sucked, Castro’s second song, “Mr. Tambourine Man,” was even worse. He couldn’t even remember the words, humming where “jingle-jangle morning” was supposed to be.
Now, I must characterize his act as WORSE than a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night. It’s becoming like a college dorm sing-along for losers who can’t get laid on a Friday night so they get shitfaced drunk first and then try to sing.
Given that Jason’s ass has been carried for the past few weeks by the sub-teens who approach this like a middle school popularity contest, I cannot predict his demise with great conviction. However, if he doesn’t go, it will be a travesty beyond proportion—one that will surely rival Taylor Hicks becoming the American Idol a couple of years ago.
I don’t know what Archuleta is doing for the judges under their table, but whatever the hell it is, they can kiss my ass. He’s not that great. I couldn’t even listen to his rendition of “Love Me Tender.” He sang it with the same damn voice he sings everything else and added non-Elvisesque bombast, which would have led me to compare him to Whitney Houston if he was a broad. However, he’s a little kid, and his voting public is composed of little kids who never heard Elvis’ version of the song and don’t know how badly Archuleta destroyed it. It wouldn’t matter if they did. they’ll vote for him blindly in any case. What remains a mystery to me is why the judges are so taken with this little schmuck. He bores my ass.
Syesha was good. I thought she was a bit shrieky in her first number, “Proud Mary,” in which she used the Tina Turner arrangement and accordingly, evoked comparisons with Tina. However, her highly emotional Sam Cooke finale was heartfelt and well done. Unfortunately for Syesha, I’m from Sam Cooke’s era, so remembering how it sounded when Sam did it—it was released right after he died—caused me to feel that Syesha fell a bit short. Randy Jackson agreed with me, but Paula (of course) and Simon felt that she did exceptionally well. Well enough to save her ass this week? We’ll see.
I continue to like David Cook who had the potential benefit of being able to choose two rock songs this week. Alas, he squandered his first choice on Duran Duran. The second, a Who song, was more like it for Cook. If he had indeed picked two appropriate songs, he would have had the best night of all of them. However, I reluctantly have to rank him tied for second tonight.
Here’s how I see it:
1. David Archuleta (two solid numbers, but sung with his usual voice)
2. David Cook and Syesha Mercado (I believe they both did one song well and the other one acceptably)
7. Jason Castro (he gets a big IT SUCKS (IS) rating for screwing up two whole songs tonight!)
Seventh in a field of four? Yeah, it was that bad. Will justice prevail or will the junior high voters play their trump card? I can feel those tiny fingers texting “VOTE” right now. Syesha must stay; Jason must go—THIS WEEK!!!
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The Redhead says
If we’re lucky, Jason will be jingle-jangling his way home tomorrow night!
The Nittany Turkey says
Did the Washington Post babe have anything to say about Jason this week? How about Baby Elmo?
The Nittany Turkey says
Eesha look good…
The Nittany Turkey says
Our highest voting total: nearly 51 million votes. Top three were within one million votes of each other.
The Redhead says
Hey Turkey! I haven’t yet read the Post but will foward it when I do.
I read your comment on Boedeker’s blog. I agree.
Jason should be gone tonight.
Gone, baby, gone.
The Nittany Turkey says
WHAT THE HELL is Paula wearing?
The Nittany Turkey says
It looks like a beret sewn onto a cocktail dress. Hiya, Red!
The Nittany Turkey says
Another group fluff number.
The Redhead says
Why are they singing this song?
The Nittany Turkey says
Because they’re not singing “Build Me Up, Buttercup”
The Redhead says
Remember The King Family? This group number is like that old show!
The Nittany Turkey says
It’s a space filler.
The Redhead says
Man, Steely Dan sure reminds me of high school and those stoner daze!
The Nittany Turkey says
Why do you build me up,
Buttercup baby, then you let me down…
The Nittany Turkey says
Babylon Sisters
Shake it!
The Nittany Turkey says
Lesley Gore reminds ME of high school. LOLLOLOLOL
The Nittany Turkey says
Tonight, we get Bo Bice, who lost to Carrie Underwood in the final a few years ago.
Also, Maroon 5, who put me to sleep.
The Redhead says
I dug that tune, Build Me Up Buttercup!
Reminds me of 6th grade 🙂
The Nittany Turkey says
I predict that Seacrest will pronounce Archuleta safe right off the bat. Duh!
The Nittany Turkey says
Either him or Cook.
The Redhead says
Seriously, Duran Duran can’t be in the hall of fame!
The Nittany Turkey says
Ben E. King can.
The Nittany Turkey says
The more I listen to that song by Syesha, the more I think she nailed it!
The Redhead says
Man, I cannot stand this David A. kid.
The Nittany Turkey says
Baby Elmo is such a crashing bore. I think both Randy and Simon must be queer for him.
The Redhead says
No, I don’t agree with you about Syesha, Turkey. She screwed up the phrasing.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, like big surprise that he’s going to be pronounced safe.
The Redhead says
David’s feeling “nervous.”
Doofus.
The Nittany Turkey says
That’s fine. We rarely agree about anything, which is good. It makes me feel more right.
The Nittany Turkey says
He connects with 10 year-olds.
The Redhead says
And makes me feel you are more wrong 🙂
The Redhead says
Ya know, Turkey, it’s just a hunch but I think David Cook will be in the bottom two tonight. Just for the drama!
The Nittany Turkey says
We’re next going to find out that David Cook is safe, leaving us to wonder about Syesha and Jason.
BUTTTTTT….this is a dangerous week. I’ve watched this thing for six or seven years and note that frequently there is a surprise right at this point, when someone you least expect to go home gets eliminated.
I don’t think any of the remaining three are safe.
The Nittany Turkey says
If the conspiracy theory is valid and “they” want Archuleta to win this thing, they need to boot David Cook at this point.
The Nittany Turkey says
But I jest.
If Cook gets eliminated, it’s because the voters are clueless, not because of the black helicopters.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, good. Cook is safe.
The Redhead says
Okay, does David Cook stay or go???
Should I stay or should I go now…..
Stay!
The Nittany Turkey says
So, let us examine this scenario: Jason leaves. Does he reprise “Mr. Tambourine Man” and forget the words once again?
The Redhead says
He shot the sheriff but he couldn’t shoot the deputy!
The Nittany Turkey says
If he was Marley, he smoked the sheriff.
The Redhead says
The biggest challenge….
holding back when Jason gets a pass every week!
The Redhead says
This “call in” business is a bunch of c–p.
The Nittany Turkey says
YOU MEAN SYESHA HASN’T HEARD FROM WHITNEY??????
The Nittany Turkey says
Wake me up when Maroon 5 is over.
The Redhead says
I don’t like this a whole lot. That guy is singing way too high.
The Redhead says
Very annoying.
The Nittany Turkey says
LOL … there’s a technical term for what he’s doing. It is called: crapsinging.
The Redhead says
It’s like that band, Fine Young Cannibals. Totally forgetable.
The Nittany Turkey says
Plus he looks like Kramer.
The Redhead says
The girls are screaming over this?
Ick.
The Redhead says
I dug The Kramer.
The Nittany Turkey says
They’re being paid to scream. With free Cokes.
The Nittany Turkey says
Isn’t San Antonio in Europe?
The Nittany Turkey says
Now we get to hear Bo, who I can still listen to, if he hasn’t gone too country. He was a good rocker with an edge when he was on Idol three years ago, but much has happened since.
The Redhead says
I’ve heard of Bo but never heard him sing.
Dig?
The Nittany Turkey says
Dig THIS!
The Nittany Turkey says
Did you get the WESH story about Artificially Sweetened’s kid getting bitten by a shark today?
The Redhead says
Wow—this is cool! Very 60s. I’m diggin’ it.
Pass me the doobie, brother.
The Nittany Turkey says
Paula is in the groove.
The Nittany Turkey says
I was very surprised when Carrie Underwood beat him in the final. But voters—you know.
The Redhead says
Hey! I saw that story on the Sentinel’s website! I wondered if it was A.S.’s kid but thought she was going to a different beach. Wow!!! What happened?
The Nittany Turkey says
As you might predict, Lynard Skynard is who he idolized growing up.
The Redhead says
Was it HER child? Really?
The Nittany Turkey says
Kid was wading in a about 18″ of water. I think it was probably a baby bull shark. Read the WESH story and see the video. It’s on my Facebook profile page, too.
The Redhead says
Nah, he is much cooler than Lynard Skynard.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, you’ll see her interview in the video.
The Nittany Turkey says
Glad you like him.
PLAY FREE BIRD, MAN!!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
Magic are letting the Pistons come back.
The Nittany Turkey says
If they go down 0-3, they ain’t coming back.
The Redhead says
Whoa! Did you read it on the news first or did A. Sweetened tell you?
The Nittany Turkey says
She called me from the ER.
The Redhead says
Is the kid okay?
The Nittany Turkey says
It was around 11:30 or so.
The Nittany Turkey says
Kid is fine, but the lidocaine is wearing off and he’s hurting a bit. He’ll be fine. Did you see the interview? He wasn’t freaked at all.
The Nittany Turkey says
HERE WE GO!!!!
The Redhead says
Many stitches?
The Nittany Turkey says
I have close up pictures of the kid’s wounds, if you want to see the gory details.
The Redhead says
I will def. check out the interview.
The Nittany Turkey says
Eight stitches.
The Redhead says
Bye bye, Jason.
Jingle Jangle on, dude.
The Nittany Turkey says
Jason was stoned out of his mind last night…AND TONIGHT!
The Redhead says
Or maybe “a change is gonna come” and Syesha is going home??
The Nittany Turkey says
She is so pretty…
The Nittany Turkey says
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Redhead says
Justice, dude, justice.
The Nittany Turkey says
There is justice.
The Nittany Turkey says
I can watch it sober next week.
The Redhead says
Hey, Mr. Tamborine Man, sing a song for Jason…
The Nittany Turkey says
Will we have to listen to another song by him?
The Redhead says
Break out the Zig Zags, Jason’s on his way home to celebrate!
The Nittany Turkey says
Which one will he do?
The Redhead says
Ugh…here’s that awful song again.
The Nittany Turkey says
He really *IS* stoned!
The Redhead says
Roll em’, toke em’ and smoke em’, my friend!
The Redhead says
Well, Turkey, it’s the top three next week! Two more weeks of this season’s AI!
The Nittany Turkey says
I mo watch 35 news to see if the Irish babe with the expressive face cover’s AS’s kid’s story.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah…I like our guy’s chances!
The Nittany Turkey says
Until next week,
I remain,
The Nittany Turkey
The Nittany Turkey says
Looks like the Magic are coming back at the Pistons.
The Redhead says
I’m heading out to check on A. Sweetened’s shark bitten son! Hope he will be okay!
See you soon!
The Nittany Turkey says
He’ll be fine and he’s expected to go to school tomorrow.
The Nittany Turkey says
Seeya!