Boss to Grace Halftime at Super Bowl XLIII

Yeah, you heard it somewhere else first, but it seems that the NFL has continued in its string of selecting aging rock superstars for halftime entertainment at its premier event. Bruce Springsteen and the reassembled E Street Band will perform in Tampa at Super Bowl XLIII. I was pretty much over Springsteen by 1988 or so, but the NFL must be attempting to appeal to the now affluent Generation Xers who craved the New Jerseyite’s raspy voice back in the day.

As for this Turkey, I don’t particularly care who the hell performs at halftime. As far as I’m concerned, that’s for the girls in the audience who can’t hold their bladders until halftime, when we dudes are queuing up for the urinal. I rarely watch the halftime show. The last time I did, Mick Jagger was performing on a stage shaped like a gigantic tongue, and his triceps flab was flapping in the breeze. Before him was Paul McCartney, and since then, the league has given us Prince, Tom Petty, and now, Springsteen.

Springsteen is pushing 60, so he’s a little younger. At least they’re not giving us Tony Bennett.

I liked The Boss back in the day, but I would rather look at another wardrobe malfunction. Sticking a rock concert in the middle of a crucial football game is just too big a production, and too distracting. Let us have breasts—they’re always on our mind, anyway!