I started watching American Idol at the very end of Season One. In fact, my first taste of it was the results show in which Kelly Clarkson beat out Justin Guarini. ???? ??? Kelly seemed to this Mouse to be the clear winner. In Season Two, I repeated this procedure, as I thought the endless weekly hoopla would bore me and I wanted to cut to the chase. However, there was something lacking as I watched the fat black guy (Ruben Studdard) edge out the gay white guy (Clay Aiken). Having missed the whole season, I thought they were both mediocre and really didn’t know which one was the lesser of two evils. Those two years led me to wonder what went on before the final show, in the season leading up to it.
And, so it was that the next season, Season Three, I decided to watch the whole damn thing from start to finish. That was the less than stellar year in which Fantasia Barrino edged Diana DeGarmo in the final. Have you heard of either of them? I didn’t think so. Have you heard of Jennifer Hudson? She finished seventh. She wuz robbed.
In spite of the vagaries of winner selections, I’ve watched each subsequent season. Verily, it is drivel, but it is mildly entertaining drivel. None of the winners ever suited me until the voters selected David Cook over David Archuleta last year, but that was only because there wasn’t much of a field to choose from and I couldn’t stand the little creepy kid. This year, it has long seemed like Adam Lambert is the forgone conclusion, but the history of the fickle voters suggests that it is a mistake to count out his opponent, Kris Allen, prematurely.
Certainly, Lambert has a set of pipes on him. He can hit the high notes and he sings on key. He’s flamboyant, a showman through and through. However, some of his antics can put off a less than sophisticated audience (and sometimes, even a sophisticated one). He is good looking, but in the words of Artificially Sweetened, “He could be a woman!” Yes, he’s pretty, alright. So, perhaps he’ll lose the so-called homophobic vote out there. The latest rumor about him is that he brought his boyfriend to one of the American Idol dinners. I don’t really give a shit if he’s a fruit, but it might put off some voters.
Allen is probably going to get the Christian vote, although he has stated that he wants to be judged on his voice alone. His voice alone ain’t enough, though. He’s been known to hide behind a piano, and his stage presence is less than awe inspiring. Last week, though, he nailed his second number, which he accompanied on an acoustic guitar. If he can continue to rock the show with the momentum thus established, he’s got an excellent chance. This Mouse thinks Kris can make no mistakes if he wants to win. That means selection of material, arrangements, stage presence, and technical competence all have to be “spot-on”, as Simon would say.
The voters have surprised us in the past. No way did I think Taylor Hicks could ever beat Katharine McPhee in Season Five. There must be a helluva lot of voters in Birmingham, Alabama—that’s all I can say. It would certainly explain Studdard over Aiken and Hicks over McPhee. Of course McPhee was from the San Francisco Bay Area, where they would rather sip chardonnay and watch the gay rights parade on Castro Boulevard than watch American Idol. She was sultry, zaftig, and sexy, and she was sure as hell my idol that year. I think the mature male contingent either refrained from voting or didn’t bother watching. Sorry to go off-topic, but I merely wanted to present an example of the voters’ annoying tendencies to go against my superior judgment.
Back to tonight’s final, who will win? For that, this Mouse feels honored to bring in a distinguished prognosticator, The Nittany Turkey himself. Here’s what that curmudgeonly fowl has to say:
Thanks, Mouse. That brings us to the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for American Idol Season Eight. ??????? ????? But first, let me say that I’m tired of picking up your droppings, so I’m glad you’re going into hibernation for a while after American Idol concludes this season. We won’t be feeding you much until football season, anyway. Oh, and there was a rumor that this Turkey’s mother hen’s cat might be coming for a visit. But I digress. Enough with the annoying little pipsqueak, already, and back to the task at hand. The current gambling line reveals that Adam is the odds-on favorite at 1-3, while Kris is offering a decent payout at 12-5. Allen has the Big Mo on his side coming into this match race—he’s been steadily improving, but he needs to run a perfect race to win. This Turkey has never been known to bet the chalk in a horse race, and I won’t do so here, either. ???? 1xbet I like the dark horse over the gelding. It’s Kris Allen by a nose.
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The Redhead says
Runnin’ Red is on board.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Mouse in da house.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Simon is wearing a jacket. Big occasion.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Tomorrow night I have hockey and basketball.
The Redhead says
Excellent summation Sir Mouse and Turkey.
Time for a kitchen break.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
How dramatic.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The trench coat, the fog. Geez. He seems nervous. I’m not liking it. And now he’s yodeling. Now he’s off key.
The Redhead says
Good move to open with Mad World. This song will probably be a recording hit for him.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Maybe you five judges saw and heard something I didn’t. Well, I’ll wait for Simon’s assessment.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
So Simon wasn’t completely enthralled. The voice of moderation. Good on him.
The Redhead says
Adam was dressed in a more understated way the first time he peformed the song, and he was sitting on a stool. It was a more subdued and haunting performance. This was more like “vampire world,” as a result of the coat and staging.
The Redhead says
Kris has done this before. Maybe it was the week you were gone, not sure. But he did well with it the first time.
He’s a bit too breathy for me.
The Redhead says
The way he drags out the phrasing–I don’t like it. He’s so obviously trying to be soulfully sexy.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Too much embellishment, Kris. Otherwise, a solid, albeit pedestrian, performance.
The Redhead says
Simon wasn’t a fan.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Duh…this first song is the one they’ve done before that they liked.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kris, you’ve awakened the spirit in all of us. –Paula
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Game on.
The Redhead says
Okay, so Simon did like it–contrarian!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Next, they’ll do a song chosen by Simon Fuller.
The Redhead says
Hockey and basketball–you’ll be busy!
Are you going to check in over here for my color calling?
The Redhead says
And to see who wins the next American Idol, of course.
(:
The Redhead says
Damn, I can never get that smiley face thing right.
Try it again:
🙂
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I’ll be checking in during intermissions, and I’ll also record the broadcast. :):):):):):):)
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
This one is putting me to sleep.
The Redhead says
Wow.
Love the suit, too.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Oy vey.
The Redhead says
A bit shrill in places.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Adam, dude. Yo, dude. So listen.
The Redhead says
I wouldn’t call it a “napper” performance, Sir Mouse!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I wish he’d “sing his face off”. I’m getting tired of looking at it.
The Redhead says
Wow, Paula is getting wild.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
You wouldn’t, but I did.
The Redhead says
Ooooh, “whatever happens,” not a good prediction.
The Redhead says
Re: AI, of course. He’s got a career, no doubt about it.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Didn’t like the song. Don’t agree with any of them.
The Redhead says
I’m surprised, Sir Mouse? What was the problem?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Alas, your old laptop lid doesn’t fit Like Your Face’s computer. Thus, I shall return it to you. I had forgotten that you exchanged your original Dell for a newer model. Your old one would have worked!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I’m wit you on dis syncopation crapola of Kris’. He’s doing Marvin Gaye like Jose Feliciano.
The Redhead says
I donta lika whata Krisa is doinga uh with Marvin Gaye’s songa.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kris was OK, so check it out baby check it out.
The Redhead says
“Like Your Face’s computer?”
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Howda hell can Randy criticize him for the song choice when it was chosen for him?
The Redhead says
I agree with Simon.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, Like Your Face is the oldest of Artificially Sweetened’s issue.
The Redhead says
Oh, get it. I think.
The Redhead says
Well, sorry it didn’t work 🙁
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It was worth a shot. I bought one on eBay for $26, so it’s gonna work one way or another. Thanks for trying!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Hey, there’s Megan Joy!
The Redhead says
I’m not feelin’ this.
The Redhead says
This pop/country/AC crap isn’t his genre.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It’s a Kara song.
The Redhead says
Oh, I know you feel the joy seeing Megan!
The Redhead says
She made a mistake.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The AC/DC crap is his genre.
The Redhead says
What were you thinking, Krya?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I mean it’s one she was involved in writing, I believe.
The Redhead says
And she knows it.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
The Mouse was bored again.
The Redhead says
Oh, I guess she doesn’t feel it’s a mistake.
She’s all verklempt.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
NO ADJECTIVES, PAULA!!!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
It’s good she doesn’t know any adverbs.
The Redhead says
Simon doesn’t like the song but likes Adam.
Ditto!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Feigned humility on Lambert’s part.
The Redhead says
Haha! Good one (s), Sir Mouse!
The Redhead says
The same song fits Kris a bit better.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yeah, he’s doing it OK. So Kara gets double royalties tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Yo, Kris, let me just say this, man.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Kara’s bias shows.
The Redhead says
Yeah, it was a better song for Kris. But I still didn’t like it. The song sucks no matter who sings it.
The Redhead says
Why do they always have such a lame-ass song at the end of the performance finale? Then we have to endure it yet again tomorrow night. Geez.
The Redhead says
I’m surprised this isn’t a two hour show tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
So, that was a good consolation congratulation by Simon.
The Redhead says
Adam did a better job tonight.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Tomorrow night is two hours. They’ll have Cyndi Lauper singing with Adam. Carrie Underwood will perform. Many surprises.
The Redhead says
I vote for Adam.
Now will the little girlies?
The Redhead says
I think Santana is also performing.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Doesn’t matter who did what. It’s up to the voters now. I believe Kris wins the damn thing.
The Redhead says
Who is going to sing with Kris with a “K” ?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Reaching way the hell back for Santana. What did they have in mind with that?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
I forget who’s going to sing with Kris.
The Redhead says
I predict Adam.
The Redhead says
Carrie Underwood is on tonight, dude!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Carrie’s doing OK with this song.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
She’ll be on tomorrow night, too.
The Redhead says
They want to make a soul sacrifice and keep it smooooth.
🙂
The Redhead says
Isn’t she the original vocalist of this song?
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
OK, tomorrow night…I’ll read your narration as hockey/basketball permit! I might check in from time to time.
The Redhead says
Well, I guess I’m on my way to read a book. I’m already home sweet home.
Tomorrow night is the big night, Sir Mouse!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
She is indeed the original recordist.
The Redhead says
Good deal. Look forward to your check-ins and game updates.
See you then!
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
Good night and good luck to Adam and Kris.
The Mouse Who Ate Xanax says
(In alphabetical order, of course.)
The Redhead says
That’s right–break a leg, guys!
The Redhead says
G’night.