Ben’s Been Lazy

I write a blog. I have no deadlines, no editor, no constant pressure to write, and no one on my ass. I write when I feel like it, which is the best sort of situation possible.

However, I’m lazy and I’m a procrastinator. I have a veritable plethora of distractions and I know how to use them. Didn’t the kitchen sink need scouring?

My blog serves two purposes. First, relaxation therapy for me. I love to write. I love to read my own words. I’m a neologist, a bombasterator, and an etymonarcissist. Occasionally, I add content to the words, which makes me even happier. The second purpose of my blog is to share information. When I write silly stuff like this, I’m not really sharing information. Furthermore, if I write drivel or worse, nothing, no one will come here to read my words, just on the off chance that they convey something meaningful. I am really falling down on the job.

I’ve castigated myself for non-performance in prior years’ football off-seasons. It seems to do no good. I have to rebuild my clientele every fall when football interest picks up. Every year I lose a few more because people rightly don’t have the time to read drivel when there are so many good and informative Penn State football blogs on the Internet. Look at Black Shoes Diaries or Linebacker U, to name just two. They’re not slacking off for the summer; they provide excellent information on- and off- season. Thus, they retain many of their hard core devotees during the summer.

Sandra Friend, who writes several blogs about hiking and outdoor life in Florida, has been traveling around the world and is always working on and publishing new books, yet her blogs continue to be regularly supplied with new content and don’t seem to miss a beat. Frankly, I don’t know how she does it all. But she does it, and she does it well.

Not this Turkey. Bad Turkey. This Turkey trots when he feels like it and for five months, he’s barely felt like it. I usually don’t post something for the gratuitous sake of having something to post, but today I have done so. Has it assuaged my guilt? Would that I could tell you.

And now the news:

Osama bin Laden is dead. Just in case you didn’t know it, you know it now. Discovery Channel is showing us all how it happened tonight at 10.

Jim Tressell still has his job at Ohio State, though it’s anyone’s guess as to why, in the wake of Tattoogate.

Prince William took a bride, a commoner. Now, Waity Katy gets to walk three steps behind Will in public. What a life.

Syria looks like the latest Muslim country to degenerate into civil unrest.

Joe Paterno walked out of a Big Ten press conference without answering any questions, leaving a couple of first year assistants to the press wolves.

The McCabe Sisters are still, as a unit, better than the Penn State offensive line.

The Big Ten’ll get you Twelve will still have two divisions inanely named Leaders and Legends for the forthcoming season.

Ashton Kutcher will replace chronic malcontent Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. How is he going to maintain the show’s edge? Date a different cougar every month?

This Turkey no longer cares about American Idol, but is rooting for Hines Ward on Dancing With the Stars, which he has never seen.

The beleaguered Pittsburgh Penguins were drummed out of the first round of the playoffs. But it’s a wonder that they got so far without Crosby, Malkin, Staal, and Cooke for much of the season.

The same Penguins have been ruminating about reviving aging Czech star Jaromir Jagr. Last year they picked up Alex Kovalev, another former Pen star. Their combined age is 77.

The Pittsburgh Pirates were above .500 for one day.

Jenny got a dog. She’s a well behaved but shy cutie named Shyanne.

President Obama says he will allow oil drilling in the Gulf and Alaska Reserves. OMG, did he join the John Birch Society or something?

AT&T is trying to acquire the U.S. operations of T-Mobile, creating an oligopolistic market for cellular communications. Bad for the consumer. Very bad. (Next move would be for Verizon to acquire Sprint. Check and checkmate.)

Republican members of congress are threatening to block an increase in the debt ceiling. They ought to do more — like stopping runaway spending by both parties.

Japan’s Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant likely suffered a core meltdown. We don’t know for certain, but we’ll be able to tell you better in 2.187 x 10⁷ years or so.

I think I’ve covered enough to make this an official post. Right?