Some “WTF?” Answers

I know that you’re all wondering what the TicketCity Bowl is all about. After all, it’s only been in existence for two years. I’ll attempt to provide some answers to some obvious questions here.

What does the logo mean?

Funny you should ask. I was wondering the same thing. Visions of the Land Grant Trophy atrocity coursed through my corpora callosa as I dissected what appeared to be an emblem that resulted from a sixth grade public school art contest across the Metroplex. Let us start with the obvious. TicketCity, the name of the primary sponsor, and the word “Bowl” are emblazoned on what looks like a raffle ticket. Beyond that, it gets more complicated to analyze. There is an eagle sitting on the toilet with wings outspread and a football being punctured by its huge talon. The other talon is grabbing something else, which is hidden behind the football. The eagle’s beak is open, as if it is squawking, “What the hell do you want from me? They’re paying me peanuts for this gig! I asked for a squirrel, but all I’m getting is peanuts! WTF?” He is so incensed that gamma rays are shooting out of his head toward a rearranged skyline of Dallas. And, wait! That’s not a toilet! It’s a scale model of the Cotton Bowl Stadium that the eagle is taking a crap on.

Perhaps that is a Phoenix bird to signify that after the Cotton Bowl Classic left the Cotton Bowl stadium in 2010, a new post-season game is rising from the ashes. Or it is just a pissed off eagle telling us what he thinks of life in Dallas.

What is TicketCity?

TicketCity is an event ticket service that’s been around for 20 years. They not only sell tickets, but also buy them. They partner with various schools and events to provide tickets to eager customers who can’t get them through the primary channels.

How do I get tickets?

Game tickets are available for purchase online using the official online ordering site. Tickets are also available by calling the office at (972) 444-2550. Tickets will be available by phone or online until one day prior to the game. Tickets will be available at Cotton Bowl Stadium box office on game day only.

Is there anything else you want to poke fun at?

As it turns out, yes. The MVP trophy is no Land Grant Trophy, to be sure! On an ebony base rests a scale model of the Cotton Bowl, inside of which is a sarcophagus the size of the playing field, topped with a polished marble slab and bearing the great seal of the TicketCity Bowl (see above) on its end. Atop the marble slab is the obligatory Waterford Crystal oblate spheroid, somewhat resembling a football. I bet you could make something similar from parts you could find in your workshop plus a Cotton Bowl model from one of the concession stands, but how is it all held together? With glue? With a steel rod? Or is it designed so that all those parts that look like they’ll fall apart can actually be used separately? For example, you might want to use the crystal egg as a table decoration at Easter time, or you might want to bury your poor pet parakeet in the sarcophagus. It’s actually three trophies in one!

Is this really a bowl game?

Folks, I know I’ve often kidded around about Penn State’s potential bowl bids, particularly during the Dark Years. You know how I’d go on and on about the Nittany Lions doing no better than the Toilet Bowl in Kohler, Wisconsin. But I’m serious now. This is a real bowl. Northwestern beat Texas Tech in it last year, so you could ask them if it is real if you don’t believe me. In fact, it was the most watched program ever on ESPN’s obscure ESPNU channel.

No shit? I mean really, you’re making this shit up.

I’m not that creative. I couldn’t even draw as well as the sixth grader who won the logo contest. I’ve spent a lot of time in Dallas, and it’s not the place I would pick for a booby prize bowl, but it sure is a long way from Pasadena (and Kohler, Wisconsin as well).