If Dave Joyner’s search committee is seeking to replace Joe Paterno’s job in its entirety by one man, it might just as well be sending up smoke signals in the hope of convincing Vince Lombardi to drop in for an interview. This head coaching job is far too big for most pure football guys — guys who are great coaches and personnel developers, who love the game and want to spend their time being coaches. It is no wonder that the search committee is taking what seems like forever.
The Penn State job is not just a head coaching job. Paterno was de facto CEO of a $50 million a year business, one which supported most of the other athletic programs at the University. At one time he was athletic director, but he stepped down from that post when he got Tim Curley (presently awaiting trial on perjury charges) hired. It is well known that Paterno continued to run the program as a CEO with little or no oversight from so-called higher ups. Hail Caesar! Aside from running the organization, a significant amount of his time was spent rubbing elbows with deep pocketed supporters — not only football boosters but also individuals and corporations who were potential donors to the University’s endowment and to other pots wanting to be filled. He was as successful at fund raising as he was on the football field. Finding a replacement who can immediately step into Joe’s shoes is about as likely as this Turkey kicking a 65-yard field goal into a 45 mph head wind.
In contrast with major college football coaches, NFL coaches don’t have to worry about raising funds. The front office handles all that. NFL coaches don’t have to worry about running the organization. The front office handles that. An NFL coach spends most of his time coaching the team, which is why he wanted to coach in the NFL in the first place.
Thus, it followed that when former Nittany Lion and current NFL Tennessee Titans head coach Mike Munchak declared that he did not want the head coaching job at Penn State after spending all of his post-PSU life with Oilers/Titans organization and finally being promoted to head coach this year, it was completely understandable to me. Not only was he part of his current organization for thirty years, but also did he know anything at all about running a major college football operation? How could he? It would have been a drastic change from coaching in the NFL. No, the Penn State job is not a fit for Munchak. He played at PSU, but that was for four years a generation ago. His head coaching experience was nil up to this year; this year he is coaching in the NFL, which as I’ve said is an animal of a different stripe. Forget Munchak. Good guy, bad fit.
The other name mentioned by various wonks of late is Tom Clements, a native of da Burgh, and the current Green Bay Packers quarterback coach. Woo hoo, he coached Aaron Rogers, a guy who came to the Packers with considerable talent to begin with. He also coached Kordell Stewart and Elvis Grbac, and neither turned out to be an Aaron Rogers. Choosing him as Penn State’s head coach for that reason alone would be absolute folly. A McKees Rocks native? Yeah, so he’d be closer to his old family homestead. How does that help Penn State? On the other hand, Clements is a lawyer who practiced and taught law. This could come in handy, given Penn State’s recent difficulties, but seriously, at the very least it means he can communicate well and has no problems in dealing with corporate types and rich folks. Unfortunately, he has no head coaching experience. His life has been spent either being a quarterback, a quarterback coach, or a lawyer. Is he a viable candidate for the Penn State CEO job?
Those were the only two names I’ve heard mentioned at this stage. One is not interested and the other has spartan qualifications (no Moo U. pun intended). What’s Joyner and his committee of six got up its collective sleeve?
Penn State is the only remaining high profile NCAA FBS Division coaching job as yet unfilled and there don’t seem to be any candidates left. Are we back to “Hire Bradley and Buy a Couple Years”?
It might make sense to do just that. The job is too hot to handle right now, owing to the Great Sandusky Scandal. Who the hell wants to ride into State College on his white horse to save our ass when he has to gallop through such huge puddles of excrement everywhere he goes, turning the proud white stallion into an old chestnut gelding in a flash? He can look forward to shit flying from the NCAA, from the Pennsylvania Attorney General, from the alleged victims and their families, from the U.S. Department of Justice, and, of course, from the so-called haters who pollute Internet message boards with their quasi-literate anti-Penn State epithets. Who needs that?
One thing I think we all know is that Tom Bradley would take the job if it were offered to him.
PSU is looking for a needle in a haystack, and that needle probably doesn’t exist. They want someone who:
- Has a pure, squeaky clean background without a single black mark, either legal or moral
- Can run a $50 million dollar annual college football operation
- Has experience as a head coach in the NCAA FBS Division
- Is a cool enough customer to handle the constant harangue about the Sandusky affair
Does such a person exist, or will they have to make some compromises? I submit that they damn well will, as there seem to be no NCAA FBS Division current or former head coaches available, unless you count the ageless Lou Holtz (actual age: 75), who seems to be safely ensconced in the broadcast studios of ESPN. (Furthermore, Lou had been fingered as being on the advisory council for The Second Mile, but he says he was duped. But I digress.) They’ll be looking for someone without the requisite experience, thus requiring on-the-job training, a someone who would step into a mess with administration officials under indictment for perjury and a football program that prime recruits are leaving like rats off a sinking ship. Who be dat? Where he be? Who’s da man who would risk his neck for brotha man?
Shaft! (Can ya dig it?)
Is it any wonder why Penn State President Rod Erickson recently uttered a controversial statement about wanting to de-emphasize football at the University? Of course, that foot-in-mouth statement was met by the expected uproar, but Erickson might have been saying that we’ll never find anyone qualified to run this damn thing the way it had been run up until the firing of Paterno, so we have no choice but to reduce our expectations for the program and its yet to be named leader.
Munchak and Clements being the two big names bandied about lately means either of two things to this Turkey: Joyner’s committee is desperately flailing about trying to get someone, anyone willing, with some kind of credentials or at least a minimal tie-in to the program or the area, or there is a secret deal waiting for “the appropriate time” to be announced. In due course (or eventually, whichever comes later), this suspense will end. We might wind up with someone none of us had ever heard of, and then the questions will start. It will be a field day for writers. I’m oiling my arthritic turkey joints in advance of the big occasion.
I think that the name that emerges will be a complete surprise to the vast majority of us.
What do you think?
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jd says
The problem is that if even half the incidents reported hold weight, Scrap might have known something. I know it’s a hypothetical, but public image of the program is a factor and I can bet you a large chunk of the public thinks in hypotheticals, even if there is no proof.
Steve Spagnuolo is probably losing his job. Just sayin….An Italian, defensive minded coach who runs a 4-3 attacking defense is attractive.
The Nittany Turkey says
I love it! Gotta get the best available Italian coach. Spagnuolo always reminded me of a serial killer. Just his looks. Just sayin…
Anyhow, Spagnuolo is essentially a defensive coordinator in over his head as the top dog for the worst team in the league. Well, one of them, anyway.
What about Tony Sparano? Fuhgeddaboudit!
OK, getting serious for a moment, Jim Caldwell is going to be on the block, too. He’s got plenty of college experience, including as head coach of an ACC program at Wake. He’s got Penn State ties in his past. He’s black, which is always good for carbon offset points. (Crash and burn in one sensitive area, offset it by hiring a minority.) Why has his name not been bandied about?
Gruden will stay in the booth — he’s happy there — as will Cowher, for now. The stupid rumor about Nick Saban holds no water. Why haven’t we been hearing similar rumors about Caldwell. I’ll tell you why. Because it sounds too plausible, so it would make a lousy lie.
As for Scrap (which is a far better nickname than Jim “Fart” Caldwell), yeah, I can hop on board with what you’re proposing about his undesirability in a housecleaning environment. However, I think — which I rarely do — I think that Bradley would be aware of his liabilities and bow out before he could possibly be selected. He’d be arrogant and stupid to think that his knowledge of and possible involvement in the cover-up wouldn’t be unearthed pretty quickly by the vultures of the media, once his permanent appointment was made.
But, as so many others have said, nothing will surprise me at this point!
—TNT
jd says
also for got to add that spags coached laurinitis,
jd says
THE BEST LB EVER TO PILEJUMP AND ACCRUE MASSIVE TACKLE NUMBERS WELL BEYOND THE LOS!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
LMAO! You startin’ a little early this New Years, Drozz?
—TNT
The Nittany Turkey says
Another Italian coach has apparently entered the mix, as Eric Mangini’s name is the latest being bandied about by the so-called Penn State cognoscenti. Of course, Mangini has impeccable credentials, having been fired after establishing losing records at both the New York Jets and the Cleveland Browns.
—TNT
jd says
i wish. stuck at work on my week off due to fine print in company policy.
Billy Blue says
latest name out there is Nick Saban!!!!!!
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, put forth on the Patriot-News blog by some anonymous reader (pseudonym “loldaveyjones”) who claims he knows the truth because someone in his family recently donated tens of millions to Penn State.
Saban’s contract extends to 2017 at ‘Bama; of course, that means nothing if the “source” has the Penn State salary commitment correct. Eight million per year surely tops Bama’s $4.2 million for 2012, 2013, and 2014.
If you want to believe this unsubstantiated rumor from an unreliable source, go ahead, but as for me, I’m not going to get excited about Saban coming to Penn State.
—TNT
Lizzie says
Would that be the Tom Clements who played in the CFL from 1975 to about the end of the ’80’s? If so, I watched him QB the Ottawa Rough Riders many times, many years ago. I seem to recall he was from Notre Dame but I am not sure. If it is the same dude I remember he was very well respected up here in igloo land.
The Nittany Turkey says
Yes, indeed, Lizard. He is the very same one. All the comments I have seen about him are quite favorable. However, there’s that narrow scope thing. Being a lawyer and a nice guy doesn’t make a head coach out of a quarterback coach. I don’t know how a search committee could possibly see enough to predict success as a head coach at Penn State.
You and I know about search committees — they’re a tribute to politically correct compromise. If they ever agree on anything, someone has put some Ecstasy in their morning pabulum.
—TNT
Lizzie says
Oops………. I forgot my link. If you look closely you may see me in the stands on the video.
http://www.cfl.ca/article/retro-profile-tom-clements
The Nittany Turkey says
Yeah, like my geezer eyes and brain could move that quickly to pick you out of a crowd as the camera pans rapidly across a sea of faces. Maybe when I was 25…
Oh, yeah. Just though of another issue for Clements. He’ll have a helluva time finding a 55 yard-line on a U.S. field. Just sayin…
—TNT
Lizzie says
Well, if TC took the Penn State gig the Uni would get both a coach and a lawyer and they seem to need both right now. Two for the price of one so to speak. Actually, he is an intellectual and may be too smart to want to walk on hot coals. I think he is definitely a nice guy from his experience here. Penn State may have to change the job description to get someone to take the job as Paterno seemed to do more than just coach from what you have said Turk. FYI here in Canada the coaches at universities have to teach in the classroom as well.
PS Are you making fun of the area of our football field???? We do some things differently you know other than drinking Tim Horton’s coffee and putting vinegar on our french fries.
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, yeah, Lizard — one thing I like about Clements is his integrity, decency, and honesty. Screw the intellectual part. To me, that means he spends too much time contemplating his navel. There is no doubt that PSU will have to — and want to — shave some of the non-football responsibilities from the new head coach’s position description.
As I recall, Clements’ vitae included a class he taught with the topic, “Sports and the Law.”
And, yeah, I’m making fun of the area of your football field. Plus, you seem to number them every five yards instead of every ten, as we do. Is that because Canadians cannot decide for themselves what that line is between the 10 and the 20 or the 30 and the 40?
I first encountered the vinegar on french fries in Rochester, NY, where people talk like they’re from Chicago, so I figured that it must have been an alien invasion that created Kodak, Xerox, Corning, and the vinegar on french fries thing.
—TNT