Here’s a collection of recent snippets of information that found their way to my turkey coop.
So, who’s the latest of the rumored candidates under consideration for the open head coaching job at Penn State? No, not Jim Caldwell, who will probably be available after the Indianapolis Colts season ends. It’s none other than Eric Mangini, once the youngest coach in the NFL, who successfully compiled losing records at and managed to get fired by both the New York Jets and the Cleveland Browns. Mangini apparently hasn’t yet been contacted by the Dave Joyner’s search committee, but that doesn’t stop the media wonks from doing their macho posturing and playing the “See, I told you so” game.
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We imagine that Christina Aguilera is quaking in her patent leather go-go boots. A bill has been introduced in the Indiana legislature to impose “performance standards” for singing the Star Spangled Banner at public school and state university events. This Turkey thinks the bill is stupid — especially because it prescribes only a $25 fine; however, I agree with its intent. How often do you want to just kick the ass of some narcissistic singer who (to quote American Idol’s Randy Jackson) “makes that song their own” and embellishes it with notes that Frances Scott Key couldn’t have even dug out of his ass after drinking flaming Dr. Pepper Depth Charges all night long at the Ft. McHenry Inn. You know the ones I mean. Some of them think they’re more important than the words of the original song, so they don’t bother learning them. Right, Christina?
In Michigan, there’s a similar law that’s been on the books since 1931, and it makes mocking the national anthem a misdemeanor with more serious punishment than a lousy $25 fine.
How played—The national hymn or anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner”, shall not be played, sung or otherwise rendered in this state in any public place nor at any public entertainment, nor in any theatre, motion picture hall, restaurant or cafe, except as an entire and separate composition or number and without embellishments of national or other melodies; nor shall “The Star Spangled Banner” or any part thereof or selection from the same, be played as a part or selection of a medley of any kind; nor shall “The Star Spangled Banner” be played at or in any of the places mentioned herein for dancing or as an exit march.
I don’t think it is enforced, having heard some of the ridiculous renditions of our national anthem at Detroit Pistons games.
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I assume that you know by now that Rob Bolden has been named the starting quarterback for the forthcoming TicketCity.com Bowl. Well, you know now, one way or the other.
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Two tweets by former Nittany Lion and incoming New Jersey state legislator Adam Taliaferro cracked me up. The lad who showed extraordinary resilience and recovery capabilities in surmounting an injury that would have left most of us paralyzed has his moments with trivial irritations, as all of us do. Apparently, McDonald’s got ol’ Number 43 going on Friday night:
Adam Taliaferro: One sweet n sour for a 20pc nugget?!?!? I’m real mad at #McDonalds right now
NittanyTurkey: Sue the bastards!
Adam Taliaferro: @NittanyTurkey that’s a good idea…I need good lawyer though
NittanyTurkey: I think you can find one close by if he isn’t too involved in state politics
Adam Taliaferro: Whenever I order nuggets…there’s always that one nugget that doesn’t taste quite right #GivingUpNuggetsIn2012
NittanyTurkey: Sue the bastards LOL
I guess Adam would rather switch than fight.
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The way the “Nick Saban is coming to Penn State” rumor got started was stupidity bordering on journalistic irresponsibility by Michael Sedor of the Harrisburg Patriot-News. Although he is a bloggist with the paper, being affiliated with a respected source of news requires a little more vigilance over what one posts, as it will be lent much more credibility than the crap that I post here, for example. He re-posted a comment made on the blog from an anonymous poster with the apt pseudonym “loldaveyjones”, in which the poster asserted that he knew for a fact that Saban would be coming to Penn State because “someone in his family” contributed megabucks to Penn State and this top secret information came from the big spender. I guess Sedor thought it was a slow news day or maybe he wanted that thrill that the morons on Facebook get when they tell someone to re-post some annoying crap that sweeps the country because other morons re-post it. Well, take your lumps, Mike. For those who want to see this nonsense, check it out.
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The Nittany Lions in Dallas for the TicketCity.com bowl were treated to a Dallas Mavs game, which they viewed from fancy suites. Dallas wound up beating Toronto 99-86.
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Artificially Sweetened said she would help me rebuild the two giant lamps I scored from my mom’s estate. I just wanted to put that in writing so that she can’t worm her way out of it.
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Artificially Sweetened says
I have to ask about this law in Michigan. Did they ever hear Jimi Hendrix’s version of the Star Spangled Banner? I’m just sayin’. I agree with you about artists who murderize the melody. At public events, the public should be welcome to sing along, and we can only do that if we are all singing the same song.
P.S. I have no intention of worming out of the giant golden globe lamp project.
The Nittany Turkey says
Well, it was a way to show you that I’m thinking of you whilst I write.
The original national anthem travesty I recall occurred in 1964, when Broadway musical start Robert Goulet stumbled through the words at the pre-Ali Cassius Clay vs Sonny Liston fight at Lewiston, Maine. Goulet was chewed up and spit out by the press and by late night comedian Johnny Carson for his faux pas. But Goulet, being Canadian, had at least some sort of excuse, whereas the vaunted Christina Aguilera does not.
—TNT