Laser Focus: Peetz will call it quits as BoT chairman

The good news is that Karen Peetz, she of the famous “laser focus” quote, will not be seeking to renew her chairmanship of the Penn State Board of Trustees; the bad news is that she will become President of BNY Mellon, where this turkey stores some of his scratch.

For public consumption, Peetz is broadcasting the notion that her new, “significantly broader” responsibilities with Mellon will preclude her from spending the appropriate amount of time to chair the BoT. I guess her former responsibilities at Andrew’s bank involved discharging the less than onerous responsibilities of a 9-5 teller, right? Yeah, sure.

Peetz has said that she will happily remain on the BoT and she has offered to remain chair of both the Trustee Presidential Search Council and the Blue & White Vision Council. Plenty of opportunities for laser foci on the future in those roles, ain’t? ????? ???? ???????

So, who’s the next fool to take over this motley group? Peetzie is happy to note that Vice Chairman Keith Masser has indicated his intention to throw his hat into the ring. Masser is chairman and CEO of Sterman Masser Inc., a family owned potato farming company in the Pennsylvania Dutch region of the Hegin and Lykens valleys. They package and ship more than 130 million kilograms of potatoes each year — and that ain’t just mashed potatoes.

I guess the folks up on Ag Hill are rooting for Masser.

A lot of you are rooting for someone outside the “inner circle.” Ain’t going to happen. ???? ????????

See the Penn State press release.

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Mega-congratulations to the magnificent Penn State Women’s volleyball team, who made it to the final four in the NCAA tournament, but were sliced and diced by a hot (in every sense of the word), fifth-seeded Oregon team.

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“We can’t stand to the side and watch the values of intercollegiate athletics be blown up in that fashion. We want everyone to pay attention. This is indeed a cautionary tale, that the athletic tail can’t wag the academic dog.”  —Mark Emmert, NCAA Chief Tyrant and Self-Aggrandizer

So, listen, Mark. Apparently, you can’t throw your weight around enough to convince the B1G to bury Penn State as you and your friend Vicky Triponey want to do. Penn State has announced that 100 fall student athletes have received Academic All-Big Ten honors this semester, which eclipses the previous record of 81 (2007) and stands at the top of the Big Ten.

Since we concentrate on football here, we’ll note that the football team was tied for third in the conference with a program record 28 honorees, of whom one — John Urschel — had a perfect 4. ??? ???? 0 GPA.

Perhaps Emmert can use Peetz’ laser to do some surgery on his tightly constricted anal sphincter to let out some of that shit he’s full of.

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Since it lost its pet Pulitzer Prize winning reporter Sara Ganim to CNN last month, the Patriot-News has suffered from a lack of investigative creativity. Just when you thought college football bowl proliferation had peaked, their web arm, Penn-Live.com, ever behind the curve, is proposing the far-fetched idea of a new bowl game: in Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Yea, verily, the wonderful new thirty-sixth bowl game would be sponsored by the chocolate confectioners we all know and love, if Penn-Live.com blogger Rege Ryan’s pipe dream ever materialized.

Of the existing 35 bowl games,  how many are consequential? Three or four, maybe. Do we really need another made-for-TV debacle where the TV cameras assiduously avoid panning across the sparsely populated bleachers? Fuck no!

Ryan can take a ride on the Hershey Highway, but he is barking up the wrong tree. (There are innumerable possibilities for salacious mixing of metaphors, which I’ll avoid.)

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Thanks again to reader Joe for bringing these important stories to the fore, offsetting the eternal laziness of your turkey.

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Finally, as I might not be writing again before Christmas rolls by, I want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas. I don’t really give a shit if you’re a Muslim, an atheist, or a Jew — Merry Christmas: take it or leave it!