After watching the UCF-Penn State game, the Kent State Golden Flashes (1-2) might have come to Beaver Stadium with high expectations were it not for the projected absence of its all-purpose star and Heisman candidate, fifth-year senior Dri Archer, without whom there is no flash in that pan. With Archer having seen very limited action due to injury, the hapless and flashless Flashes have dropped the first two games of a three-game road trip after a slim home victory over Falwell U. But thanks to the personal injury lawyers, he will be back into the field of action very soon.
Slingin’ Arrows
The 5’8″, 175 pound Archer is the first player in Kent State history named to the Walter Camp All-America team. He has 29 career touchdowns and was voted captain by his teammates this year. In his junior year he set a single-season record for touchdowns with 23, which led the MAC. He finished the year with 1,429 rushing yards on just 159 carries, hitting pay dirt sixteen times on the ground. As a receiver, he led the team with 39 catches for 561 yards and four touchdowns. And as if that’s not enough, he returned three kickoffs for touchdowns and averaged 36.9 yards on sixteen kick returns, which is the highest in MAC history. His list of accomplishments goes on and on, and it is disappointing that we will not get to see him in his full glory. This turkey wishes the desiccated arrow man a quick and complete recovery.
Statistics … or not!
The ferkukta* NCAA statistics website is still acting like a rambunctious three-year-old, so I won’t be giving you any detailed statistics about Kent State’s performance thus far. However, here are a few choice tidbits. Can’t State [my voice transcription application spelled it that way and I like it, so I’m keeping it. —TNT] ranks number 96 in passing yards, 95 in rushing yards, 110 in points for, and 93 in points against. That ain’t good. Meanwhile, the Nittany Lions are a respectable 27th in passing yards thanks to the Chris Hackenberg – Allen Robinson connection, but a mediocre 70th in rushing yards, 55th in points for, and 39th in points against.
In Kent State’s last outing against LSU, they flat-out sucked. This Turkey has to give them credit for choosing a formidable out-of-conference opponent, so they get points for that; unfortunately, even with those turkey points they didn’t score enough to overcome LSU’s 45-point onslaught, in which the Tigers rolled for 571 total yards, 264 yards passing and 307 yards rushing. The final score was 45-13.
Worthy of note to Penn Staters is that Kent State lost no fumbles and had no balls intercepted in that losing effort against quality opposition. Their lousy third-down efficiency, a lowly 4-14 or o.285, was nevertheless better than twice the season-to-date performance of putrid Penn State in that category. Penn State needs to shoot for matching the former and significantly improving upon the latter, where they are second to last of all FBS schools with a crappy 0.118. Come on! Fumbleitis and blown third down opportunities will wreck the season if they continue unchecked!
Kent State’s freshman quarterback Colin Reardon was 20-29 for 190 yards with no touchdowns and no interceptions, still a credible job against a top-tier SEC opponent like LSU. Reardon is 56-85 for 548 yards and 4 TDs thus far this year.
The Flashless Flashes outscored the Bengals in the second and third periods, 13-10. Archer played only the first quarter before being yanked, having aggravated a nasty high ankle sprain. He is listed as “doubtful” for the Penn State game.
EmBoldening Effort?
LSU’s quarterback Zach Mettenberger was able to amass his 264 yards on 13 completions with 18 attempts. He threw for three touchdowns. However, the big story here is the absence of Rob Bolden during garbage time in the fourth quarter. Bolden still shows up on the roster, so why didn’t LSU rest Mettenberger and play the Robster? Perhaps we should ask Mike Mauti for his opinion on this subject. 😀
Speaking of Bolden, he was our freshman starting quarterback back in 2010 the last time these two teams met. In spite of that, Penn State won the game 24-0, kicking the snot out of the Golden Flashlessnesses. This Turkey expects a similar rout this time around, perhaps with a few more points being rung up, albeit with some actual points being scored by the Flashless Flashes due to our somewhat inept defense. Penn State leads the all-time series 3-0.
Beware Complacency
The Nittany Lions, still searching for some internal leadership, need to gather their wits after the disheartening loss to UCF, and not take this week’s opponent too lightly, Archer or not. Failing to do so can result in a Michigan-Akron kind of thing. I don’t think that will happen, but just sayin’… This is the last pre-B1G season tune-up, and of course, lots of things need tuning, particularly on the defense. If John Butler threw everything in the book at UCF, he better write a few more chapters.
Rain, Rain, Go Away
Unfortunately, the weather might not cooperate with our expectations of a grand and glorious September football afternoon. Bring your rain gear or sit on your ass and watch it at home hoping that the damn roof doesn’t spring a leak. AccuWeather is forecasting heavy rain and thunderstorms for Saturday with a high of 66°, not exactly fine football weather. The dampness should put a damper on both passing games to some extent, so we might be looking at Zach Zwinak an awful lot. Fortunately, he can be fun to watch — perhaps even more so in the mud.
Summing it all up…
When I went looking for distinguished alumni from Kent State I found only two that I know or care about: Steelers’ Hall of Fame linebacker Jack Lambert and comedian/actor Drew Carey, in that order. When I had to decide whose picture to include in this post, I was in a quandary: either mean, ugly Jack or homely Drew. Jack won. I can never get enough of this particularly photogenic game face, which pictorially sums up the Steelers’ defense of the 1970s.
Okay, enough of that for now. It is time for the Official Turkey Poop Prediction for this year’s edition of Kent State versus Penn State. This year the Turkey is perfect, sporting a record of 3-0 straight up, 3-0 against the spread, and 3-0 on the over/under. So, what the hell are we looking at here? Without Archer, Kent State doesn’t have a prayer. This would be a good game for side bets, such as how many times Kent State’s offensive line holds and doesn’t get called for it; however, that’s a sucker bet and I don’t make sucker bets, so I’ll leave that to others of you who watch those things. The Vegas line on this game favors Penn State by 21 with an over/under of 54. That suggests a Penn State win with a score of something like 37-16. The weather might have a bearing on how large the run-up will be, but I think Bill O’Brien will take this opportunity to show his fans and his players that he still has a team to be reckoned with. Furthermore, the Not-So-Golden Flashes are riddled with key injuries on both sides of the ball. If the injuries are severe, one could get the compensation after filing a personal injury claim, or if you feel violated in any way you can take the attorneys help for title IX defense, who will protect and fight for your rights. If such an injury was inflicted on the player by any of his family members, then he can file an injury claim against member of family with the assistance of an experienced attorney. If the injury was caused by any of his family members, taking the assistance of an experienced attorney who can help him to file an injury claim against member of family will be the best option.
Archer shows up ready to play, all bets are off, but I’m liking Penn State to win this one 41-10. Take the under.
I’ll be back after the game with some Sunday morning crapper musings and, I hope, lots of good comments from you readers about this last preseason tuneup game.
(Interesting to note that I had to write this three times due to the vagaries of my ferkukta* transcription software. I even saw a dreaded Blue Screen of Death. Of course, I was doing things I shouldn’ta been doing, I suppose, like running a beta version of Windows 8.1!)
*ferkukta is Yiddish for “full of shit”, but it is used as a modifier instead of as a predicate adjective. I like to use it because I’m sort of in a ferkukta mood.
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BigAl says
Don’t bet when the forecast is for bad weather. The odds usually don’t factor in bad weather correctly. Wind is a bigger problem than heavy rain, and, when you have both, the odds are meaningless.
Bad weather usually favors the weaker team, so if I believed Accuweather (and I don’t – WeatherBug is more accurate here in Central VA) I would take Can’t State getting the 21 points. I can’t see Penn State losing this game, but 21 points are too much if the weather is really that bad.
The Nittany Turkey says
I don’t bet football games or horses in da mud.
The last great mud game the Nittany Lions played was here in the Capital One Bowl a couple of years ago. That field was entirely Florida quicksand, but they managed to beat LSU 19-17.
Here’s what WeatherBug says:
“Showers or thunderstorms likely. Highs in the upper 60s. Southeast winds around 5 mph. Chance of rain 70 percent.”
‘Bout the same.
—TNT
Joe says
Don’t know if the Flashes will risk an Archer setback to his ankle (especially if the field is a quagmire) prior to the start of the MAC conference play, but I think he does get in a few snaps.
I’m expecting the loss had an impact on the Nits and I expect the defense to come out full of piss and vinegar. Now whether they tackle better or can find the person they’re supposed to be covering in the defensive backfield is a question that will be answered sometime around 7PM.
But I think they get at least 35 points and hold the Flashes to 10 points rain or shine.
I also think they sit Hull this week.
And they don’t come any better than Jack Lambert!
The Nittany Turkey says
Just a minor correction to your astute observations. The Flashless already kicked off their MAC schedule with a loss to Bowling Green. They didn’t risk the Archeroo there, but they did test his ankle in the meaningless LSU game. Therefore, who knows?
—TNT
K. John says
The defense is not inept. Far from it in fact. Take away the illegitimate points and yards run up by UCF and the defensive effort, while substandard given the number of correctable mental mistakes (they made more mistakes than UCF made good plays) and the result is still pretty good. And those mistakes can be corrected rather easily which I expect. Penn State’s defense isn’t Michigan State’s but it is still the second best in the Big Ten and as predicted, the Penn State offense is looking like the tops in the conference and Hack is well on his way to being the first team all Big Ten QB.
The Nittany Turkey says
Ahhhhh, I see. No, I don’t. This is going to go like the “outliers” argument, methinks.
Because they made a veritable plethora of mistakes, they’re not inept? That would seem to be ass-backward to me. Unless and until they correct that bevy of mistakes on a regular basis, they’re inept. If you don’t like that word and want to propose “substandard”, I’ll hop on that train. Substandard. Fine.
Now, we get to the even greater Sanguinarian notion that PSU has the second-best defense in the league. By what measure? I’m talking about performance on the field, not what-ifs pulled out of someone’s ass. You can’t wish away the crappy performance against UCF. That one is in the record books, and you don’t get to rewrite them. When you wish upon a star…
At the moment, Moo U’s defense ranks first overall in fewest yards allowed, Wisconsin ranks ninth, and Dear Old State ranks 25th. How does that make the Lions second best in the B1G? By the way, UCF ranks 16th.
PSU is tied with Purdue at 31st in rushing defense; tied for 44th in passing yards given up; and they’re 66th in turnovers forced. They’re 62nd in sacks — our vaunted Deion/DaQuan bookends ain’t doing too well. Four B1G teams are better in that category.
Now, about that offense. The top offense in the conference has a third down conversion rate of .118? Oy, vey! There’s only one worse team than Penn State in the FBS, Miami (Ohio), but they’ve played only two games. Give them a chance and they’ll catch up. And, oh, by the way, they rank 111th in turnovers. Best offense? No way! Not until they fix those things. You can’t just count the pretty completions and nice runs, while conveniently ignoring the boneheaded stuff. So, does having the best offense in the B1G mean the best passing offense? They rank 70th in rushing yards and 55th in scoring, with lots of B1G teams ahead of them, and a lot of excuses forthcoming from you.
I don’t have to spend $100+ for tickets to Disney World, when I’ve got Fantasyland going on right here in The Nittany Turkey.
I have to believe that a lot of your posturing is devil’s advocacy, but even if you’re deadly serious, I’m enjoying the conversation. Hell, I play a bit of devil’s advocate once in a while meself. Arrrr.
And, yes, the NCAA’s ferkukta stat site is working again, albeit not completely.
—TNT
rd says
Of the two distinguished alumni, Drew Carey famously didn’t graduate. And I’m surprised you missed the James Harrison association. FWIW, Wikipedia’s list of Kent State alumni is inconclusive about the two linebackers graduation status.
The Nittany Turkey says
James Harrison? Wasn’t he a President of the United States? Related to William Henry and Benjamin? If I were to rely on Wikipedia, I would have gleaned that much and more!
The important thing is not whether they graduated, but whether they could have graduated. Obviously, as predicted, they would have graduated first in their respective classes in spite of the actual grades recorded, because their professors just made too many bad calls; furthermore, if other students hadn’t cheated, they would have all been A’s. QED.
So, what conclusions can we draw from this Wikipedia look-up? Quite clearly, we can conclude that some U.S. Americans don’t have maps. That’s my personal opinion and I’m sticking with it.
—TNT
The Nittany Turkey says
P.S.
I dont think I heard a prediction in there.
—TNT