The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home 2014 Archives for January 2014

Archives for January 2014

The Idiot Patrol

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The idiot patrol is whipping itself to an onanistic frenzy on Twitter with reports of Al Golden becoming Penn State’s next head coach, followed by denials that Al Golden has been offered the job, and then oh yes he has, then aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee wheee look at that little birdie way, way up there. All the twittiots want to be first to say they were the first, so they can come back tomorrow and say, “See? I had it before ESPN!” They tweet it out of both sides of their keyboard, so their several versions will always be defensible as right.

Even old Phil Grosz of BWI has joined the insanity.

Here’s StateCollege.com’s take on the ridiculousness.

Hard to say where these things start. Some obscure blog posts a “definite”, and lots of others believe it. Then, they embellish stories of their own with suitable bullshit and others believe them. Of course, behind them all are the ever credible (sarcastically intoned) “sources”.

Jeez, didn’t we just go through a couple day Twitter freak-out with respect to O’Brien leaving? Don’t you people have anything better to do than make shit up to see how many retweets you’ll get? If you’re not making shit up, you’re representing rumors as fact, which is worse. And shame on you, NBC Sports, for tweeting this:

@NBCSports: Miami coach Al Golden is reportedly expected to take the Penn State job.

This was before 8 PM Friday. It is now close to 2:00 AM. All we know is that we know nothing. NBC was getting its information from CaneSport.com, a Rivals site. A competing Miami Hurricane “in the know” site later tweeted that Golden was staying put. Tearing your hair out yet?

The venerable Miami Herald recapped the collection of rumors, just so they could say they had a story — just in case.

This much is pretty certain. Penn State is interested in Al Golden, and Golden is interested in Penn State. The level of interest in either direction cannot be accurately gauged without pulling something completely out of someone’s ass.  Beyond that, we at the Turkey will offer no conjectures and we will make no representations based on Internet rumors, which are completely out of control at the moment. My personal take is that Golden is now a much stronger possibility than I had originally thought. If I can trust the information I’ve seen (other than wild-ass “he’s hired” rumors), he’ll be interviewed by the committee on Saturday. One “source” said the interview was originally to have been conducted on Friday, but the committee was snowed in. I can believe that much.

Another “source” stated that the committee scheduled an interview with James Franklin of Vanderbilt for Sunday. However, the original “source” said that Golden could be offered the job as early as Saturday. I dunno, seems like too much of a circus. Joyner said that the committee would move with due dispatch, but I don’t think that meant they would hire someone without conducting a single interview. Neither did I think that it meant they would pick one candidate and interview only him. Joyner has to make sure the search committee has observed proper protocol, has done its job, and has covered the appropriate bases (read: asses).

I’ve served on search committees at UCF. It was next to impossible to hire someone without conducting and documenting several interviews, necessarily including minority candidates. A search committee couldn’t be programmed by a particular figurehead to “pre-select” someone (the HR types even had a word for it) and then back into a justification. If Penn State has similar requirements, which is likely, they couldn’t hire Golden until they interview at least Franklin or Johnson, the minority candidates, and then meticulously document that Golden is better qualified. (This assumes that he’s actually interested in the job, which we don’t know for certain, either.)

Pay attention to all those conflicting tweets and you’ll get a headache. Go ahead, sit on the edge of your chair. You’ll have a sore ass and a headache. Maybe a lot of chewed fingernails, too. Or just smoke a joint and mellow out like your Turkey, dude. We’ll know soon enough. Like, why waste energy tweeting made-up shit when we can be smoking some? Our lazytime is imperiled here.

Such as. (I know, right?)

So, look. While we’re at it here, blasted out amongst the myriad tweets from the twittiots was a simple request by Penn State junior linebacker Ben Kline to read his letter and pass it on. The damn thing went viral, accelerated by all the attention focused on the coaching situation, further polluting Twitter with a veritable plethora of retweets, which attracted my attention enough to read it. It was well worth the time. Inasmuch as Kline asked that the letter be passed on, here is a link to Ben Kline’s letter. It is uplifting and demonstrative of a commitment by at least one player to uncompromised ideals passed through each generation of Penn State football to its successors.

In other words, Kline is saying, “Stay the course, boys. No coaching change is going to tear us apart. We’re the ones making things happen.”

Furthermore, he’s asking alumni, fans, and supporters to hang in there with the team and him. This, too, shall pass.

Please read it when you get a chance. In the meanwhile, smoke that joint, drink that scotch, pray to St. Joe, and go hug a teacher. When you wake up, Larry Johnson will still be Interim Head Coach and we’ll still be awaiting news of the permanent appointment.

Now, go to bed, already.

LJ, Sr. Throws Hat in Ring

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Per ESPN’s Adam Rittenberg, Penn State interim head coach Larry Johnson confirmed that he’ll apply for the permanent head coaching position at PSU.

“I’ll let my work stand for itself,” he said. “I’m not going to change who I am to get this job.”

Johnson would be a popular choice for the players, the alumni and, of course,  the Paternoists. He has been a member of the coaching staff at Penn State for 18 years. He is an effective recruiter and an excellent position coach. Whether he has the goods to serve as CEO of the football program, as Joyner calls the head coaching position, is up to the search committee to decide.

Read the article. He was even asked about Vanderlinden.

David Jones to Talk on OTL

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David Jones of the Patriot News has become an instant national celebrity due to his interview with Bill O’Brien in which O’Brien expressed significant frustration and gross discontent with certain factions at Penn State, enough so to make him “want to put his fist through the windshield.” Jones will appear on ESPN’s “Outside the Lines” this afternoon at 4:30. You have my permission to leave work early.

According to what Jones reported, O’Brien had felt hampered by the faction he referred to as “the Paterno people” at Penn State, to wit:

“You can print this: You can print that I don’t really give a —- what the ‘Paterno people’ think about what I do with this program. I’ve done everything I can to show respect to Coach Paterno. Everything in my power. So I could really care less about what the Paterno faction of people, or whatever you call them, think about what I do with the program. I’m tired of it.

“For any ‘Paterno person’ to have any objection to what I’m doing, it makes me wanna put my fist through this windshield right now.”

This came up in response to a question about assistant coach Ron Vanderlinden, a vestige of the St. Joe administration who was kept on the staff as one of two holdovers partially to appease that faction, but who left Penn State toward the end of the 2013 season. No one really knows what happened there — the usual asinine conjectures coming from Internet message boards have produced lots of rumors that ultimately gain traction — as mum’s been the word from the actual parties involved.

As expected, some people representing themselves as “Paterno People” have tweeted a lot of defensive shit washing their hands of the situation. They should. They had nothing to do with it personally. However, clearly St. Joe’s lingering presence and the faction within the university who are not just Internet wannabes who either seek to keep the sainted Joe’s pervasive presence alive long after his death and disassociation from the football program could remain a thorn in the side of anyone seeking to take over the football program for years to come.

Their power is not necessarily manifested through direct interaction, but as a tacit undercurrent. It is there, and it is palpable. It is a mindset. Walk into alumni chapter meetings and feel it. It is always lurking beneath the surface. St. Joe lives. O’Brien called them “Paterno People”; I’ll call them Klingons.

No amount of defensive social media machinations will mitigate their pervasive, albeit dwindling, influence. Coming from a weak position, it is likely to serve the opposite purpose. ????? ?????? ?????? Some people, weary of all the crapola, will decide that enough is enough.

Mind you, I believe that Joe was done wrong by the University and the NCAA and I believe that his accomplishments should be recognized and preserved for posterity. I don’t give a shit about the statue and I’m somewhat ambivalent about the win record. I’d like to put all the sanctions behind us as soon as possible. ????? ???? However, that all is now a separate issue and the Paterno legacy, if you will, is simply not an ongoing concern of the football program anymore. These issues should not intersect with its operation, henceforth and forever.

I can understand how appeasement of the pro-Paterno alumni base at the time of O’Brien’s hire was a necessary and sensitive thing to do, as continuity of the program somewhat depended on stemming the tide of further diminution of the fan base (erosion that coaching failures in Paterno’s later years, coupled with the STEP Program had already started). We’re now once removed from that time. The next head coach should not be subjected to any Paternolistic machinations. None. Not directly or subtly. Let those people continue their losing fight with the Board of Trustees and stay the hell out of the ongoing operation of the football program and the University as a whole.

That’s my position and I’m sticking with it. No, I don’t know what happened with Vanderlinden and I don’t care. O’Brien was in charge of the football program and had every right to fire Vanderlinden, if that’s what he did, for whatever reason. He doesn’t have to answer to anybody, other than Ron Vanderlinden, about that. The whining via social media demanding answers will always be there, as will be the opinions of the legitimate media. ???? ????? O’Brien wouldn’t be the first sports figure who was driven out of town by bad press and the latest thing “social media pressure,” but my conjecture is that those were not primary reasons for his departure. He obviously had an excellent job offer on the table and was torn about leaving his kids. Lingering resentment over this shit just gave him the push over the top.