The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Home Archives for 2016

Archives for 2016

I’m Taking the Michigan and the Over

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Michigan Opens As 16-Point Favorite over Penn State

My headline gives away my prediction, sorta. I’m picking Michigan, so you don’t have to read the rest if you don’t have time. I just got a phone call that ruined my day, so I don’t want to ruin yours.

I tell ya, we don’t get no respect. Not only did our Penn State Nittany Lions (2-1, 0-0 Big Ten) get dissed on the starting board as 16-point ‘dogs as they travel to Ann Arbor to face the Michigan Wolverines (3-0, 0-0) in da Big House, but also the spread rapidly widened to 19. The early money is all meshuganah Michiganders’ and the mamas who love them.

University of MichiganOy, vey, what have we gotten ourselves into here, already? I mean, this is close to the spread that was established for Notre Dame and Duke, for Pete’s sake!

Michigan is probably overrated, but they’re riding high on a 3-0 start in this early season wherein the only obstacles have been patsies. The Wolverines mauled Hawaii 63-3 in the season opener, then dismantled UCF 51-14, and shuffled off the Colorado Buffaloes 45-28, thus winning them there games by the combined score of 159-45. (I saved you the trouble of adding them yourselves. You’re welcome.) [Read more…]

Phase Reversal in Victory over Temple

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Lions win first half, then lose second half with Temple

Our Nittany Lions (2-1) exacted revenge upon Temple (1-2) on a nice day in St. Joe Memorial Stadium at Beaver, where the stands were noticeably far short of being packed to the rafters. The final score was 34-27, and it avenged last year’s loss to the Owls in Philly.

The Lions, who normally sleepwalk through the first half of noon kickoff games, must have had an early morning wake-up call from James Franklin, as they appeared alert and awake from the git-go. However, after emerging from the locker room at halftime with a 24-17 lead, Penn State allowed the mighty Owls to hang around and be in it until the end. Temple outscored Penn State in the second half 17-13. So the early morning wake-up apparently made them sleepyheads when the second half rolled around. No one would have or did, in fact, predict this phase reversal. [Read more…]

Owls’ Meat, Birdivorous Lions

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Nittany Lions (1-1) host Temple Owls (1-1)

Owls’ meat will be served up in large doses at St. Joe Memorial Stadium at Beaver on Saturday, along with a controversial side dish of St. Joe memorializing. The latter has detracted somewhat from the majesty of this in-state rivalry clash as opposing sides square off, spout off, and generally jack off.

Temple OwlsIf people want to commemorate St. Joe’s mythical 50th anniversary, so what? I know that the opposition believes that we all should move on and put the embarrassment of the past five years (and more that was kept under wraps) behind us. But hell, it’s a fucking football game and lionizing a formerly revered football coach is all that’s going on here. No one is validating the Tickle Monster’s behavior or that of the administration, which might well have swept it under the rug (because that’s what universities do), or the that of the coach who might have been complicit in the subrugxation. This is about football — the well-known culture of football at Penn State — says the Turkey tongue-in-cheek. [Read more…]