Archives for October 2019

#6 Penn State 28, Moo U. 7

When do I start believing in these guys, who once again had an angel on their shoulder in the rain in East Lansing? Should my conclusion be that the rest of the Big Ten sucks except perhaps for Ohio State? Maybe the Schmuckeyes suck, too, only less. I’m so confused.

The Lions didn’t play exceptionally well, but it was good enough to win. They jumped out to an early lead. They took care of the ball under adverse conditions. They took advantage of turnovers. They ran by committee. Yet I damn near fell asleep (again) in the third quarter, which was decidedly not unexciting. ???? ???? ??????? ??? ????? And then, it seemed to drag on forever. Perhaps it’s my beta-blocker.

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#6 Penn State (7-0, 4-0) at Michigan State (4-3, 2-2)

Bring On the Land Grant Trophy

Oh, no! Sure, we want the Nittany Lions to win the game, which is always a battle, especially on hostile turf at East Lansing. However, if we do, I exhort the support staff to somehow lose the Land Grant Trophy (i.e., blow it the fuck up).

Did you ever notice that Brian Lewerke rhymes with Nittany Turkey? Just sayin’.

Anyhow, the Nittany Lions will have their hands full with the Spartans on Saturday. Moo U. will have an opportunity to upset big, bad #6, which is always a motivator. Sparks fly when these two get together, which they’ve done done 33 times, with a 17-15-1 record in favor of the Moosters. Nevertheless, the gambulators like PSU as a touchdown favorite over the Men in Green.

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#7 Penn State 28, #16 Michigan 21

So you wanted to see Noah Cain finally in his element dominating a grind-it-out game? You thought: Of all games, this is the one! They’ll finally get it straight! Oh yeah? It didn’t happen. The dumbass four-man running back rotation prevailed once again as Penn State shot their wad with some chunk plays and then hung on to defeat Michigan in one of those games that give you no great amount of confidence in the future. The PSU offense choked in the second half, the defense got tired, and if Michigan’s own ineptitude and coaching vagaries hadn’t derailed them, the Wolverines would have — and should have — won. Hell, if normally sure-handed Ronnie Bell had caught that fourth-down pass in the end zone, we’d all be crying in our Yuengling-moistened Frosted Flakes this morning.

Penn State improves to 7-0, 4-0, while Michigan’s loss puts them at 5-2, 3-2, probably nixing their chances for a Big Ten title.

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