Archives for December 2019

Parting Thoughts on the Cotton Bowl and the PSU Season

As you all know, Penn State went out like a Lion, beating their game, AAC champion opponent, Memphis, in an action packed Cotton Bowl Classic, 53-39. I’ll actually use tenses to recap the game.

What it came down to is for PSU to all but abandon the “explosive play” passing game in favor of the run against a deficient Memphis run defense. Once Journey Brown and Noah Cain got going, the party started, and even Ricky Slade and Devyn Ford joined in the fun. Brown had 202 yards on 16 carries, while Cain racked up 92 on 15, and both had two TDs. The Nittany Lions wound up with 396 yards on the ground, but only 133 through the air.

Meanwhile, the vaunted Penn State rushing defense shut down the toothless Tiger ground game, leaving them one avenue of attack. While the pass rush bothered Memphis, they still managed 479 yards passing against only 63 net yards running.

While the PSU defensive secondary was giving up yards playing the Ol’ Tickle Monster soft zone, the front seven were doing their job. Big shout-out to one-man wrecking crew All-America linebacker Micah Parsons, who recorded 14 total tackles, including seven solo, two sacks, three TFLs, and a QB hurry. Parsons was also instrumental in forcing turnovers, one of them a pick-six by Garrett Taylor.

What Gives with Hamler and Toney?

K.J. Hamler was to announce his decision regarding continuing his education at Penn State versus applying for admission to the NFL’s University of the Almighty Dollar “after the game”. So, after the game, he told the media that he didn’t say how long after the game. When they asked whether he had made up his mind, he said, “No. Y’all are gonna see it when y’all see it.” He can hone those elocution skills at NFL University, but he sure as hell has more than an inkling about where he’ll be same time next year.

Defensive end Shaka Toney was similarly elusive. “I don’t know yet, I don’t know yet,” he said. Bullshit! He knows and so does Hamler. They teasin’ we ass.

Speaking of Asses

We couldn’t help but notice the place kicker in the Iowa State vs. Notre Dame game at Camping World Stadium. Going through life with the surname Assalley must have made young Connor a tough man, indeed!

But I Digress…

My favorite catchphrase: “But I Digress…” But that’s what I do. Writing this stream of consciousness is my therapy, my recreation, my avenue of expression, my place to vent, and just a nice place to get together and argue with good friends without the benefit of alcohol. I write whatever I feel like writing, and I encourage comments of the same ilk. Yea, verily, it is you six wonderful readers who keep me going.

Back on track, what of the Penn State season? I think it is safe to say that at the beginning, most of us did not expect a two-loss performance and a pseudo New Year’s Six bowl. We all expected the tOSU loss, but no one said anything about Minnesota getting in our way. (The Golden Rodents have a way of doing that at the most inopportune times, creating turning points for PSU. They’re even responsible for launching (cue cello) THE DARK YEARS.). Some expected a Moo U. loss, and some expected that Iowa would be troublesome. Halfway through the season, we were all speculating on whether Penn State would score 100 points or more against Rutgers in the season finale, our Jim Delany pseudo-rivalry game. As it played out, the Nittany Lions saved their worst for last.

What we wound up seeing is a team that has some very strong talent in some areas and is weak in others. We saw a team that seemed to have trouble getting motivated to play at times. We saw some questionable coaching. This was a teaser of a year, where greatness was a carrot dangling just out of reach, without a catalyst to move the team to heights that exceeded their capabilities on paper. It was pretty much a typical year for expectations and let-downs.

We all hoped against hope that when Penn State was momentarily #4 on the CFP list, it would not be a fleeting thing. However, our gut instincts knew better. In no way did this year’s Penn State team merit that lofty rank.

Where We Goin’?

What does it take to get to that hackneyed sportswriter phrase of all hackneyed sportswriter phrases, “the next level”? Perhaps new offensive coordinator Kirk Ciarrocca holds a key. Maybe not. James Franklin seems to have cemented his role for several years to come and is bound to want to be a heavy influence. At my age, it is impractical to look past the Franklin Era for What Comes Next, so we have to hope that Franklin and the program will grow together.

If Brent Pry cannot construct a pass defense that doesn’t get beat by slants and crossing patterns, maybe Franklin should find someone who can. However, part of Franklin’s deal was more money for assistant coaches, so he probably won’t. Franklin is nothing if not loyal to his boys.

Anyhow, Penn State fans being what they are — never happy with anything short of a national championship — for some, the words of John Greenleaf Whittier ring true, “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.'”

But I am happy with the Nittany Lions’ performance this year. They have an off-season to develop new talent and fix things. College football and its annual renewal always give us something to look forward to. (I’m waiting for the NCAA to propose 10-year contracts for players. LOL.)

Thanks and Happy New Year

I want to thank all six of you readers for taking the time to read my bullshit during the year. I rarely know what I’m talking about, so the only reason you would want to read my drivel is to see how crazy I really am. However, I hope I have provided some amusement and given you food for thought from time to time.

I don’t know when I’ll be be writing again, but if I get any bright ideas, I’m always inclined to want to blow off about them. In the meanwhile, I want to wish each of you a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2020!

#10 PSU (10-2) vs. #17 Memphis (12-1)

While favored by a touchdown against the prevailing AAC champs, you have to wonder what the Nittany Lion team psyche holds in store for us on Saturday at noon in the Cotton Bowl Classic.

The game is now played in the imposing AT&T monument to capitalism. tax abatements, Big Football-a, and Jerry Jones, deep in the heart of Arlington, Texas. If any venue is more awe inspiring than the Big Beave, this is it. Lions and Tigers and Cowboys — OH MY!

Add to that the departure of Ricky Rahne as offensive coordinator and the hiring of his replacement, Kirk Ciarrocca, late of the Minnesota Golden Rodents. Lotta shit going on with ridiculous transfer portals, NFL draft announcements, etc. Fine barbecued meat nothwithstanding, I would classify all this officially as distractions up the ass.

Who Calls the Offense?

Obviously, the offensive play calling won’t fall on Ciarrocca’s shoulders in this game. He ain’t got time to implement any kind of a system, so we’ll probably be seeing much the same old offense. Nominal interim OC Tyler Bowen will call the plays, kibbitzed, of course, by James Franklin. However, with the permanent job going to an exogenous candidate and with nothing on the line, Bowen might be given the opportunity to express himself, showcasing his talent in Jerry’s Palace for all in the hunt for offensive genius to see.

Be all that as it may, we have the issue of a noon game on the road (it will be 11 AM CST for da boys). Our catnapping Lions typically don’t get charged up for those. Couple that with disappointed pouting over not getting the Rose Bowl and you have a scenario that favors coming out with “that dullard look.” But who knows? Maybe Tyler Bowen has the secret “it” that will inspire and motivate the Kitties.

Explosions

Memphis’ offense is described as “explosive”, while James Franklin believes in “explosiveness”. Whole lot of demolition potential on that field on Saturday. This could be a high-scoring affair, if PSU comes to play. Will they?

Who the hell knows which PSU team we’ll see? Star wide receiver (the only one) K.J. Hamler has deferred his announcement regarding whether he’ll be back next year until after the Cotton Bowl. You know what that means. If he was going to stick around, he would have said so. With Justin Shorter gone to the ridiculous NCAA transfer portal, we’ll have only a couple known targets downfield for the semi-hobbled Sean Clifford.

Memphis’ rushing defense is less a cat than a pussy. They rank #80 in that category. This seems like an opportunity for Noah Cain and Journey Brown to “make a statement” LOL.

Crouching Tigers, Missing Jaggoffs

Given the Tigers’ passing prowess, the Penn State defense needs to show up. By the way, their rushing game isn’t half bad, either. We’ll need a better effort from the secondary than we’ve seen in recent games. However, with several key Nittany Lion defenders having already announced they’re going elsewhere, you have no idea what we’ll be seeing. We’ll be looking at replacements in a lot of positions getting in some playing time before next season.

I should mention the departure of Memphis head coach Mike Norvell, who was hired by the has-been Florida State Seminoles. Defensive coordinator Adam Fuller is also missing from the Tigers’ crouching staff.

By da Numbers

Memphis ranks eighth in scoring offense in the FBS while PSU ranks seventh in scoring defense. Something’s gotta give! Now, here is where the Big Ten Chauvinsts and PSU Sanguinarians come out and decry the Tigers’ “lesser competition”, “weaker schedule”, or just say, “the AAC suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!” Thing is, if the team gets to thinking that way, we’re fucked. Remember Kentucky last year. That’s why I’m saying this Cotton Bowl is all about team psyche.

The number nine running back in the nation will be lined up on the Memphis side, appropriately named Kenny Gainwell, a 5’11 191 pound freshman from appropriately named Yazoo City, MS. And while, he ain’t in the top ten, junior QB Brady White is a serviceable passer at #12 in the FBS, with 33 TDs and only 9 INTs.

The Tigers know how to convert third downs, too, ranking #20. Look at PSU with their middle-of-the-pack mediocrity in that category (Rank 45, and I do mean rank).

Talking about the Future in the Present Tense

Should I do it? I mean, should I forget that we have tenses in the English language and write like the rest of the dorks who purport to be sports journalists (an oxymoron if ever there was one). Shall I do something like the following, lifted from BSD?

KJ Hamler and Journey Brown both lead the charge for the offense. In what could be his final game as a Nittany Lion, Hamler contributes 105 receiving yards and a score, as well as a huge kick return to set up a key touchdown in the second half. Journey Brown goes off for 120 yards on the ground and two touchdowns, while Pat Freiermuth finds some holes in the Tigers defense to add another.

—Jared, BSD Cotton Bowl Roundtable

No, sorry. I cannot bring myself to write that shittily. Just because it seems to be de rigueur for every damn hack sportswriter or broadcaster doesn’t mean I have to concede that the English language is merely a vestige of what it once was. Call me a dinosaur, but I can write in cursive, too. I know that future perfect means something other than a repeat of the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

What the hell am I going on about? Ahhh, nothing! I’m just taking a parting shot based on some of my pet peeves with the crap one sees written and spoken these days. Shit, man, “the King’s English” shouldn’t mean constructing sentences like LeBron. And the Queen’s English must be a truism or a song by Freddie Mercury. Oh yeah.

But I digress. How do I get on these lunatic tangents?

Da Wedda

It don’t matter. They’re playing in an air conditioned palace.

Da Bottom Line

Good Memphis barbecue aside, this one will be a barn burner if and only if PSU shows up to play. If they don’t, Memphis will rain on their parade. Reflective of the potential for a scorefest, irrespective of Penn State’s vaunted defense, the over/under settled down right around 61 points for this one. Coupled with the seven-point spread, that yields a gambling community projection of 34-27 in favor of Penn State. I think PSU will win by a field goal or less. Penn State 49, Memphis 47.

The Nittany Turkey wishes you and yours a very happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year!

I might be back after the game with some insights into why it never goes the way I think it’s going to go, but I make shit up anyway. Meanwhile, the Nittany Lions “control their own destiny”, whatever the hell THAT means!

Rahne Flies Coop

So, all those who bitch about Ricky Rahne’s dumbed-down, derivative Moorhead offense need bitch no more. Ricky done flown da coop!

Speculation abounds on who will be selected by James Franklin as Rahne’s successor. We don’t even know who will run the offense at the Cotton Bowl at this point.

Black Shoes Diaries posted an article that said absolutely nothing, but it was couched as the opinion of its author, Chris Lucia. Nevertheless, since I know even less than Lucia, I’ll won’t make grandiose statements about what the team needs on offense. I’ll just ask: Who is your leading candidate for OC?

Bowl Bullshit

So, we got the Cotton Bowl and PSU homies are pissed off that we didn’t get the Rose Bowl. Hey, Wisconsin deserved it and PSU didn’t. (By what arrogant and impertinent measure did PSU stake its claim on Pasadena turf, anyway? Certainly not on that ridiculous, season-ending putridity against the lowly Scarlet Knights of PJHS.) Furthermore, from a subjective point of view, why would the “Graddaddy of Them All” want a team that consistently shows up for only half a game?

Even the Cotton Bowl is probably more visibility than the Nits deserve this year. Nevertheless, for some of us, the matchup seems even more unsettling than the lesser venue.

A Group of Five playoff wannabe will always want to be appeased, and the Cotton Bowl is now the designated spot for the proud pretender. This year, AAC winner Memphis (12-1) is it. The at-large berth went to Penn State (10-2), who are favored by a touchdown.

But Can Memphis Win?

The thing is, the Tigers might be tigers. (How many sports teams choose this ferocious, striped, 500-lb feline as their mascot? I’m thinking it must be the most overloaded icon in sports. But I digress.) Memphis has everything to gain, while the Nittany Lions will likely enter the game with their usual dullard looks for the noon kickoff. What are they playing for?

Memphis will be coached by interim head coach Ryan Silverfield, since former head coach Mike Norvell was hired away by Florida State. Of his ascension, Silverfield stated, ” The players will understand it’s just another day with a new face up there that’s talking to them, a new face that’s calling the plays.”

Make a Statement?

In this situation, the players know the importance of “making a statement.” (LOL) The coach’s motivational significance is somewhat secondary. They’ll be awed playing in Jerry’s House, a huge upgrade from their home venue, which is where the Liberty Bowl has been played for about 100 years and holds 60,000. AT&T Stadium (Jerry’s Joint) is one of the most expensive and elaborate sports venues in the world, costing $1.15 billion to build and holding 105,000 slobbering Cowboys fans.

Whether PSU stacks up well against Memphis will be the subject of my pre-bowl post, so I ain’t sayin’ here. At the moment, I’m more interested on your thoughts regarding the matchup and any sour grapes you have for me to chew on.

Depending on how sore my ass is, I might not get the pre-bowl post up before Christmas, so I want to wish all six of my readers the very best of the holiday season — Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and to those who celebrate Kwanzaa, Habari Gani.