PSU at Michigan for All the Marbles
I guess a bag of marbles is about what this game is worth. Michigan seemed to find a quarterback in their previous game but they let Rutgers score a shitload of points on them. So they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, but might be improving offensively. Meanwhile, Penn State just plain suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks on both sides of the ball. So, this one will either be an exciting stinkeroo or a stinking stinkeroo, but it doesn’t make much difference either way.
In any other year, Penn State versus Michigan at the Big House would be worth the effort to write this. This year? Well, it suuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
So, I’ll cut to the chase, with the weather and my game prediction, just for the proverbial shits and grins.
Da Wedda
AccuWeather (hooray, PSU meteorology, where I got my first job while at Penn State back in 1964!) says Saturday will be mostly sunny with a high of 46° and a low of 28°. Because this is a dreaded noon start (on the road, already, yet, still), the temp will probably be in the low 40s at kickoff time. Good Big Ten football weather. (I’m waiting for the blizzards of December, with three games remaining after this one!)
Official Turkey Poop Prediction.
First, let me thank the forces of the universe for allowing this turkey to survive the butcher’s knife for yet another Thanksgiving. My not-so-lucky brethren were going for 49 cents a pound at the local emporium. Is that all a turkey’s life is worth? Well, hell.
Now, for some inexplicable reason, which might well be general disinterest or perhaps scorn for both Franklin and Harbaugh, who are both having unfortunate seasons, the spread on this game favors Michigan by just 2. Sure, Penn State has no wins, but who were the Wolverines’ wins against? I’ll tellya. Minnesota and Rutgers. But do you think Penn State could beat either Minnesota or Rutgers? I’ll gopher it: Not on your best scarlet night!
OK, enough bullshit. Did I tell you that the over/under is 58.5? So, coupled with that two-point spread, the gamblers are liking Michigan by a slim margin, like 30-28. The Wolverines scored 35 on Rutgers in regulation, and our defense is so putrid that even Rutgers looks good in comparison. Meanwhile on the offensive side, we’re a mess. We can’t decide on a quarterback, neither can take care of the ball, we can’t score touchdowns after reaching the red zone, we have no running game whatsoever, and our coaching suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. So this turkey survivor is going to be cynical. Michigan 48, PSU 17. Take the over, because they’ll be scoring at will on our defense. Yep.
I’ll be back after this “interesting” game, but probably will cut my remarks short because they moved the Steelers-Ravens to Sunday because the Ravens conditioning coach gave everyone Covid-19. Is the Big Ten season over yet? Wake me up when it is.
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psudrozz says
glad to hear the turkey is still kicking! Roasted one of your 25 lb brethren yesterday. Wore a tie to dinner, so respect was shown.
I like michigan -2. Not sure about the over-my model leans under. But taking the under is never fun.
The Nittany Turkey says
So, how are you doing against the spread this year?
I’m sticking with the over here. I do believe our team attitude is tanking. Devyn Ford’s status is still uncertain. The running game sux and the defense is going to be on the field for a loooooooooooonggggg time.
So, I dunno, as usual, but I see UM racking up some points against the absent PSU defense.
—TNT
K. John says
Getting close to being done for the year. Opted for oven roasting several Turkey breasts instead of the entire bird. Little motivation. If Michigan sticks with the kid, they win by three scores as the turnovers mount in the second half as we attempt to catch up but end up falling further behind in the 3rd. Gattis does something really stupid in the fourth trying to put the nails to Franklin allowing us an easy score resulting in a high scoring game that isn’t as close as the score.
Michigan 47
Penn State 35
The Nittany Turkey says
I hear you, K. John. I have to find things to amuse me in these PSU Follies of 2020, but after this game, I don’t know how amused I will be by losses to Rutgers and Moo U. And then, who will we see in the Plus One game. I haven’t been able to find the information regarding whether it is possible that PSU could play Nebraska again.
Anyhow, I agree with your Michigan output, but I don’t think PSU can put 35 on the board. Therein will lie my amusement tomorrow.
—TNT
lawrence hamilton says
Hard to get happy about any of this. It all seems like a bad dream from which I’m waiting to wake up. The most fun I’ve had has devolved into texting 2 of my sons, both PSU grads during a game and airing complaints, whines and insults. I have a feeling so many of PSU’s former punching bag, early season opponents, Coastal Carolina, Akron, Youngstown State, Buffalo, et (there have been so many) are doing their best to get the Lions on THEIR early season schedule hoping to get an early season win against a one time highly regarded BIG 10 team now relegated to door mat status.
I guess ultimately we can all blame Donald Trump for our collective nightmare as by his reckoinng he was the one responsible for getting the BIG 10 to play their season.
The Nittany Turkey says
I do that texting thing during games, too. It’s a form of social distancing imposed on us by the dastardly 2020, but it’s probably better suited to the team’s performance this year that would be our typical get togethers involving food and drink. While drinking is a habit that can mitigate some of this team’s crappier performances with mind numbing therapy (if the Nittany Lions haven’t numbed our minds enough), there is no way one can work up an appetite watching them. So, texting snarky comments is as good as it gets.
Now that you mention it, I’m cringing over the 2021 schedule. Opening the season against Wisconsin at Camp Randall is bad enough, but — HOLY CRAP! — PSU faces the formidable Cardinals of Ball State in its home opener! Another 0-2 start, then LOOK OUT, as Auburn is next. Oy vey!
—TNT
Big Al says
On paper, this could be a high scoring game. Michigan’s secondary sucks as bad as Penn State’s. But our quarterbacks won’t be able to find/hit the open receivers. And we won’t be able to run on them either. Michigan 42 Kitties 20.
And then I hope COVID puts an end to this season. I’m beginning to think Franklin is deliberately trying to get fired so that he can collect his buyout and retire to Florida.
The Nittany Turkey says
More realistic than K. John’s 35,. This team is no scoring machine. Michigan has certainly allowed lots of points, but those were scored by superior teams such as Rutgers. (I’m cracking me up!)
I imagine the $32 million is sounding better and better to Franklin in view of the twice-weekly shelling he gets from the media and the daily fusillade on social media.
Michigan, Michigan, Michigan, Michigan, bla bla bla
—TNT