Lovie Dovey All the Time

Penn State (3-5) draws Illinois (2-5) for Week Nine

Penn State will host the mighty Formerly Fighting Illiniweks (FFI) on Saturday at 5:30 PM in the latest (cue fanfare) G A M E O F T H E C E N T U R Y! The Illinois Indians, not to be confused with the Cleveland Former Indians, will have lost that Lovie Feelin’. They fired head coach Lovie Smith last Saturday after an ass-kicking by Northwestern. Lovie is gone, but not forgotten, for doing such an excellent job of maintaining Illini mediocrity.

Illinois (or the FFI, as I prefer to call them), a particularly docile band of Peoria Indians, will be led by offensive coordinator and interim head coach Rod Smith. (Wonder if he’s related to Lovie? Tell me, I’m too lazy to research it.). Well, anyway, the Smith Brothers have managed to keep the FFFI (extra “F” for “Effin'”) exactly where they belong: the western division cellar.

Penn State, meanwhile, is seeking to extend its wonderful, wacky winning streak to four. Thus, with a perfect 4-5 record, they can leverage themselves into a premium bowl game, such as the Mayonnaise Bowl or the K-Y Jelly Bowl. A problem that could get in the way is that bowl games are dropping like flies. Cancellations due to Covid-19 regulations and ordinances have abounded.

Elsewherez

In other Big Ten Championship Week games, the REAL game is a nooner: Ohio State vs. Northwestern, played in Indianapolis. The rest of the games are pretty crappy, as the league tried to preserve some old rivaries. Thus, the desirable matchup between Indiana and Iowa will not happen. It will be Nebraska at Rutgers (gagggggg!), Purdue at Indiana, Minnesota at Wisconsin, Michigan at Iowa, and Moo U. at Maryland (gaggggggggggggggggggg!!).

I’ll be back later in the week with a better look at the FFFI!