Archives for 2021

The Nittany Lions played their asses off but could not generate the needed offense to surmount the Shmuckeyes, blowing an early lead. As it wound up, #5 Ohio State (7-1, 5-0 B10) 33, #20 Penn State (5-3, 2-3 B10) 24. The Bucking Fuckeyes should retain their #5 position in the polls and are tied with Moo U. for the lead in the Big Ten East. On the other hand, Penn State will drop out of the Top 25. They are tied with next week’s opponent, Maryland, for middle-of-the-pack mediocrity in the highly competitive division.

They Shut Down the Run (big surprise)

Ohio State shut down the Penn State running game, but that’s old news. A Pop Warner team could deliver that knockout punch to PSU, which has struggled all year to move the ball on the ground. Absent from this game once again was the rushing contribution from Sean Clifford His passing game was back this week with a credible effort of 25-52 for 361 yards, a touchdown, and an interception. In contrast, his running suffered four sacks by the Schmuckeyes, which contributed a minus eleven yards to a net total of thirty-three yards rushing.

TreVeyon Henderson, the talented Ohio State freshman, made lunchmeat out of the Penn State rushing defense, with twenty-eight carries for 152 yards and a touchdown. He didn’t need any fancy sell-out offensive line maneuvers like Illinois used the previous week. His quarterback, C. J. Stroud, another freshman, also enjoyed a successful day against the vaunted Penn State defense, going 22-34 for 305 yards and a touchdown. The Big D did a good, but not great job of containing the talented tOSU receiving corps, seeming to concentrate on Chris Olave, who they held to forty-four yards, at the expense of allowing Smith-Njigba and Wilson to roam free.

WTF? Scratching My Head.

OK, so don’t we need to talk about Franklin and his whacko, momentum shifting fourth-down calls? How about that rotten banana of a field goal attempt by so-called triple threat Jordan Stout to hand the Schmuckeyes the sure victory? What happened there?

They Won’t Admit the Flaws

I know the Sanguinarians will be complaining about what might have been if Lovett hadn’t been “forced” out-of-bounds. Oh, how life would be if the officials hadn’t flagged the “erroneous” illegal touching penalty. However, that is bullshit and once again they’re grasping at straws. The officiating was even, if not perfect, and if anything, shaded a bit in Penn States’s favor. Like the targeting foul that cost tOSU a good defender. Even Davy Witvoet in the replay booth, a notable Penn State hater who once was chased by St. Joe at halftime of an Iowa game, made a favorable call.

Some High Points in Defeat

One thing that stood out for Penn State was the third-down efficiency, where they excelled, converting eleven of sixteen. Keeping that up, along with the associated 50-50 time of possession, will be keys to any successes in the remaining four games. The defense played hard and were grateful for the rest periods provided by the offense’s ability to sustain drives. ????? ?????

Who Are We?

After eight games, we know who these guys are, and we know all about their warts. They are not the 10-2 team many thought they would be this season. Say what the Sanguinarians will, idealists as they are, depth at key positions and the lack of ability to play solid ground-pounding football have been back breakers this season. “The injury bug” is part of the game and must be offset by having capable backups. A solid offensive line is the cornerstone of a dominating offense. Neither of these areas will improve at this late stage of the season, so we’re stuck with another middling finish.

Bowl Implications

The Sanguinarians are busy trying to figure out mathematically just what it will take to get Penn State its much deserved spot in the CFP. This might involve petitioning the NCAA to invalidate two of the past three outcomes on the grounds everyone knows we really won those games. It was solar activity, assassin squads targeting our wonderful quarterback and defensive players, and Covid-19. We should get a do-over, because it is obvious that the Nittany Lions belong in the Top Five. ???? ?????

Don’t make me laugh. Yes, the Toilet Bowl in Kohler, Wisconsin is again my prediction. This, as you six long-time readers know, is my characterization of a worthless post-season outing, typically in an undesirable venue attended by a few Penn State fans who “travel well.” I think at 5-3 with Maryland, Michigan, Rutgers, and Moo U. ahead, two more losses are likely. That would give us a barely bowl eligible 7-5. We would have a bit of a cushion to stay at six wins or above. Detroit and New York in December are distinct possibilities. Ew.

Where Be Dis Goin’?

We’ll finish above Indiana and Rutgers in the Big Ten East.

But where will Franklin be next year? His stock must be sinking fast. ??? ???? ?? ??????? ??? ?????

As a final note, I’m here to eat some crow. I was surprised by the Nittany Lions’ competitiveness against a quality opponent. The expected blowout did not occur. The team we saw last night can play on anyone’s home field and deliver a credible effort. We all know the flaws but let us give credit where due.

(After taking a little break from thinking about the annual cruelty known as college football, I shall return with a preview and prediction for the battle with the mighty turtles).

#20 Penn State (5-2, 2-2 B10) vs #5 tOSU (6-1, 4-0)

I couldn’t think of a better title for this blog post, so I chose “meatballs.” It is silly and meaningless, reflecting the futility I feel regarding Penn State’s fleeting chances for vindicating the 2020 fiasco with a halfway decent performance this year. Cruelly, 2021 now starts to look like 2020 in reverse. ????? ??????

The banged-up Nittany Lions enter the Horseshoe with 13% chance to win, according to ESPN. I don’t agree. Unless Stroud, Henderson, Olave, and Wilson all suddenly contract Covid-19, this mother should be over by halftime. ???? ???

That last fucked-up mess with Illinois should tell us all that this team is headed in the wrong direction, with its head coach, James Franklin, making questionable decisions both on and off the field. Playing Sean Clifford in the Illinois game was an incredible risk that didn’t pay off. Furthermore, it may have prolonged Clifford’s injury, whatever the hell that might have been, while it displaced playing time for his two backups, which they sorely need. All for what? WTF?

What we saw with Illinois was a complete sellout by Bret Bielema to favor the run. Despite many attempts by the Illini to shoot themselves in the foot, the run worked over and over against an unprepared Penn State defense. Dared to stop the run, they couldn’t, so Bielema just kept calling the same play. And it kept working. WTF?

Now, Ohio State is a different animal. The Schmuckeyes are a complete team, once again the best in the Big Ten. ??? ???? ????? ?? ??????? They faltered once, against a decent collection of Oregonian quackers, but they seem to have gotten back on track, averaging 559 yards per game, of which 352 are passing and 207 are on the ground. PSU is allowing 324 yards — 178 passing and 146 rushing. Yet, who have they faced with a juggernaut offense like the Buckin’ Fuckeyes? WTF?

The mighty I-Dotters have the top scoring offense in all the FBS — by far — averaging 49.3 ppg. Their closest contender is Alabama, at 45.9. They are third in the country in third-down conversions at 57.7%. (You must go to the third page of stats to find Penn State, who rank 115th, converting third downs a putrid 33% of the time). WTF?

Defensively, they rank first in Defensive TDs, with FOUR PICK SIXES and one fumble recovery for a TD. However, they rank only 18th in scoring defense, giving up over eighteen points per game, mostly in garbage time.

How can Penn State win? Franklin needs his team to focus on going 1-0 this week by eliminating distractions and playing hard. Looks good on paper, but it ain’t happening. Franklin’s refusal to deny that he is either looking elsewhere or being considered elsewhere for a high-profile open coaching position (USC and LSU have been mentioned) is making matters worse even while Franklin pays lip service to averting distractions. He could easily eliminate this distracting element by flatly denying that he will leave Penn State. Yet, he won’t do it. Instead, he fuels further speculation by hiring a new super-agent, leaving us all — and more importantly, the team — in a quandary. Then, he leaves his backup QBs sit while he lets his most talented offensive player reinjure himself with no hope for a viable replacement. Oy vey.

Enough of the 1-0 this week, no distractions crap. They’re not going to beat the Schmuckeyes. If they even get close, I will be here eating crow and accepting scornful reprisals on Sunday morning.

Da Wedda

The weatherperson is calling for another grey, shitty fall day in Columbus. Like gray, man, with a high of 58, a low of 45, and occasional rain and drizzle. The same kind of crap we had for the Illinois game. Rain probability is 53%, with 97% cloud cover. Wind gusts to 15% should result in one missed field goal by Jordan Stout, which might well be the only available scoring opportunity.

Da Bottom Line

Boy, what a money-making opportunity we had last week, with PSU favored over Illinois by 23½. I hope you all made money on that one!

This week’s line opened at tOSU – 11, but after the Illinois loss, the spread widened to 18½. The over/under remained at 60½. Gamblers are still giving Penn State some respect, methinks. As I, Roseanne Rosanadana, see at least a three-touchdown difference between these two.

The gambling line works out to the Schmuckeyes winning 40-21. Ya think? Penn State couldn’t score more than ten points on Illinois in regulation, so they’re going to DOUBLE that production here? You’re dreaming. I see the Nittanites putting up a good fight in the first five minutes, but after that it will be all over. At our watch party we can talk about cars or food. Maybe drink some wine and fall into a drunken stupor to mask the pain. Or we can talk about how clean the Buckin’ Fuckeyes’ uniforms are when Ryan Day brings in the third string in the third quarter. Or we could marvel at how wonderfully the fucking “I” was dotted by the oldest living alumnus who played the sousaphone for the band in 1939. Ohio State 57, Penn State 6. Take the over, only because Brutus told me to say that.

(I’ll be back after the game to either eat crow (highly doubtful) or feed you more of my bullshit).

Illinois 20, Penn State 18 (27 OT)

It was a shitty day in University Park in more ways than one. Formerly #7 Penn State (5-2, 2-2 B10) went down in ignominious Homecoming defeat to Lowly Illinois (3-5, 2-3 B10), 20-18, requiring countless overtimes to rub it in even more.

Stats go out the window in this latest equivalent of the 2004 Iowa vs. Penn State 6-4 Homecoming Tragedy. The main new notable absence was the Penn State rushing defense. (We had already given up on the rushing offense). Despite several self-pedal extremity directed cannonballs by the Illinois offense, the Formerly Fighting Illini outlasted a worn-out (albeit never present) PSU defense to ultimately prevail. I lost count of the so-called overtimes, which by current NCAA rules take on the characteristic of an NHL shootout after a while. Penn State’s denouement was brutal, telling, and final.

Sanguinarians may now go into hiding. For them, the season, which held so much promise, is over. Welcome to 2004.

I ought to mention (again) that what we perceived to be the strength of this Nittany Lions 2021 Edition was its defense, which failed miserably in this losing effort, surrendering 395 yards. All but 38 of them were gained on the ground by a confident Illinois offense with a surprisingly capable offensive line. Well, they certainly looked capable against our inept front seven. Credit is due to Chase Brown, with 33 carries for 223 yards and a touchdown, and Josh McCray with 24 for 142, The absence of P. J. Mustipher no doubt contributed to the defensive debacle.

Penn State’s ineffectual offense, led by injured first-string QB Sean Clifford, produced only 227 yards, with merely 62 due to the weekly mostly absent running game. Clifford was 19-34 for 165 yards and a touchdown. The Lions converted a putrid 4 of 17 third down attempts, which is why the time of possession was skewed so heavily in favor of the Illini, 36 minutes to 24.

They Tried to Give It to Us!

Illinois couldn’t have tried much harder to throw the game to Penn State, with two fumbles lost and one interception. Penn State, in its offensive ineptitude, squandered those opportunities. And while Illinois was moved backward fifty yards by four penalties, Penn State had seven penalties for eighty-one yards. All aspects of the Nittany Lions’ game suuuuuuucked.

A big question in the minds of many Penn State fans is, “Why play Clifford?” He was clearly still nursing painful ribs, which would only be exacerbated by getting roughed up as the game progressed. His playbook was clearly limited in the running department, where he lost a net 28 yards, but his passing was off the mark, too. He might have been able to throw in no-contact drills during the week, but in a real game, chances were good that he would reinjure himself as he took hits. I don’t understand why we didn’t see one or both of the backups. This, after all, was the last opportunity for them to get game reps before the level of competition increases.

Disappointment is My Closest Friend

The Franklin Doctrine of concentrating on going 1-0 “this week” didn’t work. Whether it sacrificed next week, we’ll never know. How much worse would PSU have done with Roberson at the helm? We’ll never know. Of course, had the Lions won with Clifford, playing him would have been regarded as brilliant, and our disappointment would have been postponed until next week.

Number Seven? Bye bye! PSU doesn’t belong in the Top 25. No running game. Now, no running defense. A severely compromised starting quarterback and incapable backups. The season is hereby declared a mess.

From this point looking forward, I see no guaranteed wins. Not even Rutgers. I’m not saying they will all be losses, but the handwriting is on the wall for what appears to be yet another mediocre season. The 11-2 predictions at season’s outset are now by the boards. We’ll have the guaranteed loss next week to tOSU and at least one more. Maybe more. If we’re lucky, the post season will be played in a white porcelain bowl with running water and toilet paper close by. Detroit? New York? Awww, shit. Too soon to speculate on that.

I know what Paterno used to say: “You’re never as good as you think you are when you win, and you’re never as bad as you think you are when you lose.” But to lose like this before homecoming crowd who expected the football equivalent of a walkover is too painful for such poignant Paternoistic platitudes.

For the few Penn State fans who harbored anxiety over James Franklin leaving for USC or perhaps LSU, take heart! After this abortion, they won’t want him.

(I’ll be back when I recover, with an overview of our third straight loss.)