Penalties’ll Killya

Oregon 45, Penn State 37

I know you’ve all hashed and rehashed the game ad nauseam, so I won’t furtherhash it here. We knew in advance that if Penn State got off to a slow start against the #1 ranked team, it would be an uphill fight that had few chances of ending well. We all cringed as we recalled the myriad playing from behind situations we’ve observed this year, against the likes of Bowling Green and USC. The worst-case scenario would be not only starting slow and making execution errors but throwing in mental errors. Against the #1 team, that amounts to suicide.

Well, we saw all the above. The only thing missing in the early dullard performance was a plethora of coaching errors. No, the boys didn’t need any coaching help to shoot themselves in both feet, repeatedly, like Keystone Cops on a Mack Sennett set. I mean, how in the hell do you get a personal foul on a kickoff that was destined to be a touchback. I WILL blame the coaches for this kind of crap, which we have seen every week throughout the damn season. Why the hell is it still going on entering the post-season?

Four fifteen-yard penalties for fuck’s sake! Some of you like that “in yo’ face” shit. I don’t. In this case, it cost us a realistic shot at winning. After the first one, the guidance from the coaching staff should have come through loud and clear: Control your impulses, assholes!

Turnovers’ll Killya, Too!

As if the dumbass penalties weren’t sufficient half-witted errors to lose the damn game, we had Drew Allar’s two interceptions. He had his head straight up his ass for both. (No, I won’t be gentle. It is true and he will be the first to own up to it.)

The first crappy interception occurred in the second quarter, from the Penn State 11 yard-line already down 21-10. It was not quite a pick-six, but it put the ball on the PSU one yard-line. Oregon easily scored on the next play, making it 28-10. This was a crazy-ass pass to throw into coverage on second and ten from one’s own red zone. No excuses. Just a brain fart.

Similarly, Allar had no business throwing deep to a tightly covered receiver to end the game on second-and-one with time on the clock and the running game working well. He admitted that he mentally committed to targeting his primary receiver and went with him all the way. Another brain fart.

Penn State had a decent chance to win the game, but they screwed up. Losers will talk about officiating like children making excuses for their failures. Blow wind if it makes you feel good, but in your heart of hearts, you know that lack of discipline and patience, the most fundamental of fundamentals, is what screwed Penn State out of a serious shot at this Big Ten Championship. Big credit to Oregon, who played a mistake-free game and kept the game out of reach. They are deserving champions.

Playoff Bracket Revealed

Shfting to the College Football Playoffs, all the bullshit and predictions are behind us, as we now know what the playoff bracket will be. Penn State drew Southern Methodist University in the first round. It will be a home game for the Nittany Lions, which James Franklin facetiously characterized as playing with sixteen inches of snow on the field. Yeah, mid-December games in an open stadium in the frozen North are to die for — literally! But Penn State fans, being what they are, a hardy bunch, are elated that they’ll have another home game. By the time they thaw out, they’ll be wishing the game had been played in Dallas. (I remember one Pitt Game in late November, 1964, after which they had to put me on top of the dorm hallway radiator to unfreeze my balls. But I digress.).

Frankly, I do not know much about SMU. I can remember Shifty Craig James and his PSU hatred, but that has no bearing on the outcome of this game. Also, I remember Doak Walker. (Younger readers will say, “Who???”). But about this year’s squad, I know zilch. Thus, I will make no comments here about the game, snarky or otherwise. I’ll save that for a later preview and prediction.

One thing I can say now is that the Methodists and the Kitties get no respect from the schedulers. The contest is scheduled for a nominal noon kickoff on December 21, in sixteen inches of snow at Beaver Stadium. Imagine the bemused, dullard looks on the team exiting the tunnel into a snow cave. A whiter than white White Out! A veritable winter wonderland! I’ll speculate more about that in my pre-game post.

And was the selection committee expressing a sense of humor by giving us a path to the semi-finals through horses? If the Nittany Lions can cathandle the SMU Mustangs, they have the Boise State Broncos to look forward to (fortunately, not on a blue football field)

So, what else can I say? See you next time, when I lay upon you some heavy bullshit about the first-round playoff game with SMU.