Cats’ paw prints have a central pad and four toe pads. So why do so many Penn State logo items have a five-toed paw print? After a recent visit to State College, the Nittany Turkey sought an answer to this important question.

If every time you look at that damn five-toed paw, you get the feeling that something unnatural has happened, you’re not alone. During Michigan weekend I spotted both four- and five-toed paw prints. The five-toed paw was disconcerting and annoying. I even saw face painters carefully painting five-toe prints on people’s faces. It’s a pervasive conspiracy!

Could the Nittany Lion have strayed too close to Three-Mile Island, spawning offspring with an extra toe? Or are Penn State’s marketing people just so stupid that they think cats actually have five toes in front?

This Turkey, whose footprints no one wants, was impelled to research this perversion of nature, eventually finding a reasonable explanation in an issue of The Daily Collegian published back in September, 2005. The article was entitled History of the paw: The truth behind a popular Penn State symbol is revealed. Read it if you’re interested in the story of this abomination and help stamp out the five-toed lion!

What happened to the Thank You/You’re Welcome part of the boastful Penn State cheer? It seems to have been dropped.

My earliest recollection of this cheer is that cheerleaders would line up in front of the student sections and in front of the paid ticket sections, directing the students to bellow, “WE ARE…”, followed by a directed retort from the other side of the stadium, “PENN STATE!” This was repeated several times.

Then, there would be a short pause, after which the cheerleaders would exhort the students to shout, “THANK YOU!”, to which the other fans would yell, “YOU’RE WELCOME!” This alone was a point of pride for me, tacitly demonstrating that Penn State students, alums, and football fans were an urbane, refined, polite mob.

However, the Thank You/You’re Welcome was missing in the game I most recently attended—the Michigan game on October 14. Was this an anomaly, or have we simply slipped out of the habit of politeness?

The PSU Athletic Department has announced that starting quarterback Anthony Morelli and backup quarterback Daryll Clark are cleared to play in Saturday’s Homecoming game. Whether this means that they actually will play is anybody’s guess. Papa Joe has not yet issued a pronouncement on the subject.