The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Ducks Prevail, Bring Back Bowl Memories

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Watching the Oregon vs Oregon State game tonight flashed me back to the simpler days when bowl games were few, prestigious, and didn’t need the name of a company selling package delivery services, pizza, weed eaters, or car care to be viable. Oregon won, 37-33 in an exciting game replete with five lead changes.

The Oregon students were waving roses at the end, and that’s the way it used to be when teams knew which bowl they were playing for. The Pac-8 (which it was until upstarts Arizona and Arizona State joined) would send its champ to the Rose Bowl to meet the Big Ten Champ — more often than not, the winner of the Michigan vs Ohio State game. Roses were passed around at those pivotal late season games because if the respective teams took care of business, they were sure to get a bid for “the grandaddy of them all.”

Back then, the winner of the Big Eight would play in the Orange Bowl. The SEC winner would play in the Sugar Bowl. The (now defunct) Southwest Conference winner would play in the Cotton Bowl. Those teams knew where they were going and exactly what they were playing for.

Furthermore, we didn’t have to remember which corporate sponsor’s bowl it was played in which other corporate sponsor’s stadium. The Orange Bowl was played in the Orange Bowl. The Sugar Bowl was played in the Sugar Bowl. The Cotton Bowl was played in the Cotton Bowl and the Rose Bowl was played in the Rose Bowl. ???? ????? (The latter, fortunately for the sake of history, still is.)

Now, even the parades associated with the bowls have corporate sponsors. How exciting.

Hell, watching football on TV, it has come to having corporate sponsors for first downs. (“That first down was brought to you by Bush’s Beans…”) One of my compadres, Jackstand, speculated that soon we will have sponsors for the left hash mark on the 47 yard line. ???? ??? ????????

For the sake of pumping up even more TV revenue, we now have to endure a BCS selection show, which will air this coming Sunday night on ESPN. Used to be we didn’t need such an abomination. Everybody knew what they were playing for and where they were going. Selection has grown complicated. When the standard tie-ins and rationale fail to provide enough projected revenue, the rules are bent via complex provisions for who gets to pick what from which bunch of teams in what order. The BCS sucks. It amounts to a theatrical booking agency, which attempts to justify its choices and placements with contrived formulae. The elephant in the room is that nobody gives a damn about anything but the money.

By BCS rules, a particular conference cannot send more than two teams to BCS bowls. Ohio State is locked into the Rose Bowl. If Penn State is picked over Iowa for the either the Tostitos or FedEx bowl, a travesty will have been committed. Iowa beat Penn State. Iowa is ranked higher than Penn State. Penn State fans naturally want to see their team go to the best possible bowl. Of course, the administration wants the significantly higher payout of a BCS bowl. ????? ???? ???? It is, after all, all about the money, no matter what euphemisms we hang on it. If Penn State is picked because its fans “travel well” or whatever the hell code word we use for “spend lots of money”, it ain’t right. Iowa should be picked because of what they have accomplished on the field, not based on the size of their alumni fund.

But I digress. The BCS has that effect on me. I continue to be annoyed with the entire process and the thinly veiled pecuniary orientation of the whole damn thing. However, the Ducks are the men of the hour, and I need to give them their Rose Bowl sendoff.

Congratulations to the Oregon Ducks! The last time you guys went to the Rose Bowl, it was 15 years ago and your opponents were the Penn State Nittany Lions. Unfortunately, you faced one of the most prolific offenses in NCAA history and gave a credible effort that fell significantly short against the #2 team in the land. (Only because Nebraska beat Miami the night before, but I won’t get into that — much.) This Turkey enjoyed the privilege of attending that game. This time around, I’m thinking you quackers can win this thing. The tables are turned. The Buckeyes aren’t all that good this year, having lost to a pretty awful Purdue squad and to USC, who you Ducks decimated on Halloween. Party hearty in Pasadena and enjoy the experience — you’ve earned your roses, now go for it all. The Turkey’s Crystal Balls predict a big Rose Bowl win.

Hatch Says BCS Violates Antitrust Laws

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This is the story of the week, as far as this Turkey is concerned, so I’ll continue to beat it to death. I think Senator Orrin Hatch (R, Utah) has finally flipped his sparsely populated wig. He’s been the driving force behind this weeks Senate subcommittee on antitrust, competition policy and consumer rights hearings on the subject of Bowl Championship Series fairness. Appropriately, Hatch has been the only member to have attended all the sessions from beginning to end.

Hatch believes that the system of assigning bowl games and determining the national champion is unfair — not because it leaves the true national championship issue in doubt, but because of the inequity he and other fairness advocates perceive in the way the BCS tacitly allocates money. Of course, the University of Utah is one of those institutions being slighted by the BCS, thus the particular interest by the school’s home state’s U.S. Senator.

“You have 50 percent of the schools who are the elite schools. They get almost all of the money, and the other schools, no matter how good they are, don’t even have a chance to compete for the national title,” said Hatch.

Interestingly enough, Hatch’s comments came a day after BCS officials rejected a proposal by the Mountain West Conference (Utah’s conference) that would replace the present system by an eight-team playoff. The Mountain West, having waged the fight for six months, capitulated. Following is an excerpt from the statement by the Mountain West:

The Mountain West believes it has no choice at this time but to sign the agreements. If a conference wishes to compete at the highest levels of college football, and the only postseason system in place for that is the BCS, no one conference can afford to drop out and penalize its football programs and student-athletes.

Of course, if the Mountain West hadn’t agreed, they would have been cut out of more than the national championship picture. They would have lost the ESPN television revenue as well. Their capitulation means that they’ll lay low for the next four years.

Meanwhile, Hatch is not giving up. He continues to amp up the rhetoric, calling for antitrust proceedings by the Department of Justice.

“I think there are definite antitrust laws being broken here, and we should do something about it,” said the senator.

But the DOJ hasn’t really been doing much trust-busting lately, and furthermore, they and Congress would be subjecting themselves to public ridicule for pursuing something as frivolous as fairness in sports when they have much bigger fish to fry.

As for this Turkey and other Penn State fans, well, hell — we’re already in that 50 percent that Hatch mentioned, so best to leave sleeping dogs lie.

Now, as to the issue of fairness in deciding the national champ, that’s quite another thing.

Will the Nittany Lions have a shot at that championship this year? I have my doubts, mostly centering on the inexperienced receivers and the mostly new defensive secondary, but that’s another subject for another story for another day as we approach the sweet days of autumn.

Senate Reviews BCS — All about money?

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Michael Jackson is still dead, but the hoopla surrounding his cannonization leading toward ultimate sainthood is still wearing on. Meanwhile, in Washington, the collateral circus continues, as the Senate antitrust subcommittee considers the fairness of NCAA’s present method of determining its top division football champion.

The most noise, it seems, has come from Utah. By the sad luck of the draw, the University of Utah Utes are shut out from the national champion picture because they are members of a non-BCS conference. Having performed rather well in recent years, they wish to claim a piece of the pie. Who can blame them for that?

This Turkey cannot, but is it really a matter for the U.S. Congress to decide when there are so many other more pressing and relevant issues up for their consideration. Howevever, the U.S. Senate is one thing and this column is quite another. Unlike Congress, if I waste my time on the BCS fairness issue, no one suffers.

Michael Young, the president of the University of Utah, spouted the the following bullets, scattered among his statement:

“The BCS is perpetuating an unfair system;” “Without a doubt, the BCS embraces favoritism, rather than fairness;” “These other universities have no realistic chance even before their seasons begin to win a national championship;” “In this country, we should decide championships by competition and not by conspiracy;” “Instead, the BCS system, with its stranglehold on college football, sends the message that economic power, rather than athletic ability, is key to success.”

Most of us privileged folks who root for BCS schools pooh-pooh Utah because of a presumably softer schedule. When they go undefeated (as they did last year — hence, their protest), we say this is due to a softer schedule. If they go to a BCS bowl game and do well (as they did last year, beating Alabama 31-17 in the Sugar Bowl), we say that their opponent was overrated. They are the Rodney Dangerfields of the FBS subdivision — they don’t get no respect.

The real issue, if you want to boil it down to specifics, is the issuance of automatic BCS bowl bids to champions of the various BCS conferences. Obviously, not being in a BCS conference, the Utes have to play their way in.

Of course, there’s another side of the coin, which is the big bucks the bowls generate. Leave it to a lawyer, representing the position of the non-BCS outsiders, to clarify the money issue via the following obfuscatory excerpt from Barry Brett (of Troutman Sanders):

“The BCS is a naked restraint imposed by a self-appointed cartel which has exercised its power to limit games and prevent a playoff in order to preserve for its members access to participation in the five BCS Bowl games and the related revenues;” “Public and private colleges and universities which desperately need equal access to the enormous revenues of post-season college football are suffering.”

Yeah, so would the Senate even consider hearing this stuff if it didn’t mean money for the lawyers representing these colleges?

Orrin Hatch (R, Utah) is, of course, the major driving force behind this hearing, although Herb Kohn (D, Wisc.) and Chuck Schumer (D., NY) made token appearances. Hatch had previously chaired a meeting on the same subject in 2003.

President Obama has voiced his support for a playoff system, as has the venerable Joe Paterno of the Nittany Lions. But wait! That’s not all! This Turkey agrees with those two dieties (JoePa is a real one), but doesn’t want to see tradition thrown out the window, either. The existing system, even with all its components, including supposedly unbiased computer rankings and opinionated media pollsters, is still choosing a somewhat mythical champion each year. A playoff system pitting the top 16 teams would be just the ticket.

I suppose the selection of those 16 teams would be controversial. There are 11 conferences in the NCAA’s diazepam without prescription uk FBS, plus there are four independent schools: Army, Navy, Notre Dame, and Western Kentucky. If all conference champs plus the best of the independents were given an automatic berth to the first round, that will leave four wild-card slots. How do they get filled? Rankings might once again come into play, and hence, controversy. There would be great bar room arguments over whether for example Troy, by virtue of its Sunbelt Conference championship was fairly included if it meant that the third best in the SEC, arguably a better team, was not. Yeah, those place and show finishers in the “major” conferences would certainly have a legitimate gripe about losing revenue, and their fans would have a similar gripe about not having the chance to compete for all the marbles.

For the schools, it’s about the money and the prestige; for the players and fans, it’s about being Number One. This is not your father’s NCAA. Merely being selected for a bowl game at the end of an 8-game season doesn’t cut it anymore. Teams play 12 or 13 games through a grueling schedule to reach paydirt at season’s end, and if it ain’t Number One, it’s disdained as underachievement. This was graphically displayed last year by USC, who won their conference and got an automatic Rose Bowl bid, but loudly bitched and moaned that they deserved better. (Were it not for a loss to Oregon State, they might have been in the still somewhat mythical national championship game.) Better? The Rose Bowl is “the grandaddy of them all” and it used to be the rarified air of college football. Winning the Rose Bowl (or any of the other “major” bowls) was the primary objective.

So, I guess we need a playoff system. People won’t be satisfied unless a clear winner emerges each year, and the NCAA won’t be satisfied unless its revenues are protected. Congressional meddling will not accomplish anything worthwhile. If action is taken, it will be arbitrary and oppressive, as is the tendency of heavy-handed government.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that these esteemed institutions of higher learning are universities first and football factories second. Yeah, right. No one wants to admit the relative importance of the football programs over the academy. Otherwise, the playoff system would be easy enough to devise. Just mimic the NBA, the NFL, or the NHL. The NCAA would invite the top 32 football programs for admission to a successor to the FBS division (another “self-appointed cartel”), without regard to existing conference alignments and academic alliances, which don’t matter anymore. We’re not about tradition; we’re about national prestige and big bucks. Reflecting the major ROI potential, invited “schools” would have to pay big bucks to enter. Relegate everyone else to lesser divisions — we’re not going to pay to watch Indiana play Louisiana Tech, anyway. The top 32 would be divided up into regional conferences, and they’d be scheduled for inter- and intra-conference play similar to the NFL. Playoffs would work just as they do in the pros. Throw tradition out the window and let’s just get down to money, power, and dick-measuring.

Hey, maybe Obama will appoint a Sports Czar that could run the whole thing to make sure government kept its hand in the pie. Wouldn’t that be lovely!

OK, so I’m off on a tangent musing about how the hell we could ever agree on a playoff system for college football. It might never happen. If it did, what would we spend the whole month of November arguing about in sports bars? Who would we bash annually, if not the BCS? Would we be happy to see the death of the conferences?

Aw, hell, it might very well take an act of Congress to impose order on the messy business of deciding a national collegiate football champion!