The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Hysteria!

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Lots of fancy rumors are crackling through the crystalline Central Pennsylvania winter air, kimosabe! What are the drums saying and who flung poo?

Forgive me for my facetiousness — or don’t — but there are lots of versions of this stuff floating around and it might all turn out to be the pure, unmitigated, bullshitistic ministrations of some hysterical rumor mongers bent on selling newspapers, which in the end are good for nothing more than lining the bottom of the birdcage and wrapping fish.

Given that preface, let’s see whether this bowl of pasta is al dente. ???? ???? ????? Characterizing the rumors as linguini gives me a little better feeling about the purported morass.

Here are the primary bullets of the crap that’s floating around, as best I can gather.

  • Rod Erickson, who just received an $85,000 performance based compensation increase, is opposed to accepting the $1.3 million special gift committed to Penn State athletics by Terry Pegula, who committed the money (on top of over $100 million he donated to build the hockey arena) with the intent of keeping Bill O’Brien in the head coaching position. The money would be (or would have been) added to O’Brien’s salary for 2013, bringing his pay package to $3.6 million.
  • Erickson is also fighting to keep Dave Joyner as athletic director. O’Brien had apparently (and, of course, this is subject to the veracity or lack of same of  reports by — who else? — David Jones of the Harrisburg Patriot-News) asked for certain “structural and personnel changes in the Penn State athletic department.” Presumably, Joyner not continuing as AD was part of the deal. ???? bingo
  • O’Brien will hold a press conference Monday morning — or not, because OMG OMG they’re going to cancel it, say some of the hysterical crowd — with the intent of drawing the line indelibly in the sand about whether he will consider bolting or not.

So, let’s discuss, already!

I won’t discredit any of this completely. Consider that Penn State accepting booster money specifically directed at paying a football coach’s salary corroborates the Freeh Report and the NCAA characterization of a corrupt football-centric culture — and folks, ferchrissakes, we’re talking millions here. Message board geniuses are calling Erickson “ballsless” for what they perceive as cowardice, but methinks it requires fortitude to take a stand, if this is in fact what is happening.

Furthermore, if other reports are accurate, my perception is that whereas O’Brien has paid lip service to not being “a one-and-done” guy, why the hell would he interview with NFL teams if he had no intention of leaving? It doesn’t add up. Well, in my mind, it actually does add up to a well-played ploy to put the screws to Penn State, given that he had achieved great popularity among the alumni, players, and fans, and as icing on the cake, was Maxwell Coach of the Year. He and his agent had to think they had everything going for them, and could make pie-in-the-sky demands under the threat of bolting to the NFL. Again, I can only look at continuing reports with so much of a jaundiced eye before admitting the possibility that some truth exists there.

Yeah, I know. The not-so-gentle art of negotiation, you say. However, look at it from another angle. If Penn State succumbs to O’Brien’s demands, assuming that they are as represented, does it not demonstrate that the institution is placing an excessive emphasis on the football program? Think about it — I mean really think about it — with your brain, not your heart.

About Dave Joyner, it is not for me to say that he is competent as an athletic director or not. Let the “experts” on the message boards debate that. What I will say is that if Erickson wants to fight to keep Joyner as AD, that is his prerogative, and it requires more so-called balls than to roll over in the face of a football coach’s demands. The damn inmates cannot run the asylum. Last I heard, there was to be a national search run by a real search committee for the AD job. ????? ??????? Has that changed?

And, you know, everybody’s been talking about O’Brien’s “deal.” Doesn’t it take two parties to agree to a deal? Terry Pegula is not a party to the deal. Did Penn State actually ever agree to any of this?

Boy, am I reading some serious whining! “Erickson and Joyner will ruin the University!” LOL. Right. If O’Brien isn’t the coach next year, all of a sudden, who knows what will happen?  Penn State will necessarily fade into obscurity. Research funding will dry up, Old Main will crumble, and the elms will die. (OK, never mind the elms.)

Is any of this shit really happening? I have a good bullshit filter and so do most of you, but some impressionable people might actually believe all of this unsubstantiated garbage.

Of course, there are those denizens of the message boards who love to pass around wild-ass rumors because they crave attention. If in the p = .00001 chance that some of the gossip turns out to have any essence of truth, they immediately start rubbing in how well connected they are and how everybody should listen to them. If the rumors don’t pan out, we never hear from these yokels.

But I digress.

What the hell is going through simple minds that view Penn State only in terms of its football program? Shit, man, it’s just a couple of million, man. The University can afford it. Just pay the man so I can have fun watching football. Like, I don’t want to be associated with a university that can’t give its football coach what he wants! Waaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!

So, none of tonight’s rumors are necessarily even close to being founded, but in the case that they are, I wanted to say what I want to say. Go ahead and hate me for it. If I didn’t make my points clear enough above, let me shove them at you more succinctly:

  • It is probably not a good idea to give in to O’Brien’s demands, if indeed they are being accurately represented. I think you all agree that Joe Paterno wound up with too much power, amassed during his 60-year tenure at Penn State. To add insult to injury, ceding that level of control to a second-year coach would be absolutely ridiculous, especially given the criticism by the Freeh Report and the NCAA of the dominant football culture at Penn State. O’Brien did not endow the library, create scholarship and academic assistance programs, raise literally billions of dollars for the university, or do anything other than coach a football team to a 8-4 record in a single year of tenure. O’Brien is not Joe Paterno. Think about it. Repeating the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is the definition of insanity, according to the musings of Albert Einstein. Why is O’Brien worth a big bump in salary for which the university sells out to a booster, and why should the University cotton to his demands about whom his superiors should be and how they should run the athletic department? Isn’t that yielding “just a little too much” control to the man? (Irony intended.)
  • Why should we support O’Brien’s heavy-handed negotiation (again, if the stories are accurate) while condemning the steamroller job Emmert did on Erickson? Because we “like” O’Brien, but we don’t like Emmert and Erickson? Puerile, to say the least. Those who have the upper hand tend to come out ahead in these situations. Sometimes, the old maxim holds, that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. In this case, the “power” is in O’Brien’s threatening to leave Penn State football high and dry. When you view that on the scale of zero to all we’ve been through over the past 14 months, it isn’t much of a threat, now, is it?
  • Corbett’s lawsuit attempts to pooh-pooh the whole “corrupt football culture” notion. If the University gives in to O’Brien, how can anyone in his or her right mind deny the existence of such a culture?

So, let me hear from you on this one. I’ve been struggling with the O’Brien “negotiations” all week. I enjoyed his successes with the team as well as the rest of you; however, I’m not willing to hand him the keys to the castle. Neither do I believe everything I read about it. In my heart of hearts, I must say that I don’t believe that O’Brien ever made those demands. Media “wonks” being what they are, lots of embellishment and vagueness has fanned some serious flames. It’ll all come out eventually.

Given all the flailing going on via tweets on Twitter as well as a plethora of inflammatory posts on various message boards, this all could change hourly. Stay tuned for more fun!

The O’Brien press conference will (or won’t! — LMFAO!!) take place at 9 am ET and it will be carried on BTN/BTN2Go.

CEO, PSU Football, Inc.

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Vince Lombardi
Vince Lombardi

If Dave Joyner’s search committee is seeking to replace Joe Paterno’s job in its entirety by one man, it might just as well be sending up smoke signals in the hope of convincing Vince Lombardi to drop in for an interview. This head coaching  job is far too big for most pure football guys — guys who are great coaches and personnel developers, who love the game and want to spend their time being coaches. It is no wonder that the search committee is taking what seems like forever.

The Penn State job is not just a head coaching job. Paterno was de facto CEO of a $50 million a year business, one which supported most of the other athletic programs at the University. At one time he was athletic director, but he stepped down from that post when he got Tim Curley (presently awaiting trial on perjury charges) hired. It is well known that Paterno continued to run the program as a CEO with little or no oversight from so-called higher ups. Hail Caesar! Aside from running the organization, a significant amount of his time was spent rubbing elbows with deep pocketed supporters — not only football boosters but also individuals and corporations who were potential donors to the University’s endowment and to other pots wanting to be filled. He was as successful at fund raising as he was on the football field. Finding a replacement who can immediately step into Joe’s shoes is about as likely as this Turkey kicking a 65-yard field goal into a 45 mph head wind.

In contrast with major college football coaches, NFL coaches don’t have to worry about raising funds. The front office handles all that. NFL coaches don’t have to worry about running the organization. The front office handles that. An NFL coach spends most of his time coaching the team, which is why he wanted to coach in the NFL in the first place.

Thus, it followed that when former Nittany Lion and current NFL Tennessee Titans head coach Mike Munchak declared that he did not want the head coaching job at Penn State after spending all of his post-PSU life with Oilers/Titans organization and finally being promoted to head coach this year, it was completely understandable to me. Not only was he part of his current organization for thirty years, but also did he know anything at all about running a major college football operation? How could he? It would have been a drastic change from coaching in the NFL. No, the Penn State job is not a fit for Munchak. He played at PSU, but that was for four years a generation ago. His head coaching experience was nil up to this year; this year he is coaching in the NFL, which as I’ve said is an animal of a different stripe. Forget Munchak. Good guy, bad fit.

The other name mentioned by various wonks of late is Tom Clements, a native of da Burgh, and the current Green Bay Packers quarterback coach. Woo hoo, he coached Aaron Rogers, a guy who came to the Packers with considerable talent to begin with. He also coached Kordell Stewart and Elvis Grbac, and neither turned out to be an Aaron Rogers. Choosing him as Penn State’s head coach for that reason alone would be absolute folly. A McKees Rocks native? Yeah, so he’d be closer to his old family homestead. How does that help Penn State? On the other hand, Clements is a lawyer who practiced and taught law. This could come in handy, given Penn State’s recent difficulties, but seriously, at the very least it means he can communicate well and has no problems in dealing with corporate types and rich folks. Unfortunately, he has no head coaching experience. His life has been spent either being a quarterback, a quarterback coach, or a lawyer. Is he a viable candidate for the Penn State CEO job?

Those were the only two names I’ve heard mentioned at this stage. One is not interested and the other has spartan qualifications (no Moo U. pun intended). What’s Joyner and his committee of six got up its collective sleeve?

Penn State is the only remaining high profile NCAA FBS Division coaching job as yet unfilled and there don’t seem to be any candidates left. Are we back to “Hire Bradley and Buy a Couple Years”?

It might make sense to do just that. The job is too hot to handle right now, owing to the Great Sandusky Scandal. Who the hell wants to ride into State College on his white horse to save our ass when he has to gallop through such huge puddles of excrement everywhere he goes, turning the proud white stallion into an old chestnut gelding in a flash? He can look forward to shit flying from the NCAA, from the Pennsylvania Attorney General, from the alleged victims and their families, from the U.S. Department of Justice, and, of course, from the so-called haters who pollute Internet message boards with their quasi-literate anti-Penn State epithets. Who needs that?

One thing I think we all know is that Tom Bradley would take the job if it were offered to him.

PSU is looking for a needle in a haystack, and that needle probably doesn’t exist. They want someone who:

  • Has a pure, squeaky clean background without a single black mark, either legal or moral
  • Can run a $50 million dollar annual college football operation
  • Has experience as a head coach in the NCAA FBS Division
  • Is a cool enough customer to handle the constant harangue about the Sandusky affair

Does such a person exist, or will they have to make some compromises? I submit that they damn well will, as there seem to be no NCAA FBS Division current or former head coaches available, unless you count the ageless Lou Holtz (actual age: 75), who seems to be safely ensconced in the broadcast studios of ESPN.  (Furthermore, Lou had been fingered as being on the advisory council for The Second Mile, but he says he was duped. But I digress.) They’ll be looking for someone without the requisite experience, thus requiring on-the-job training, a someone who would step into a mess with administration officials under indictment for perjury and a football program that prime recruits are leaving like rats off a sinking ship. Who be dat? Where he be? Who’s da man who would risk his neck for brotha man?

Shaft! (Can ya dig it?)

Is it any wonder why Penn State President Rod Erickson recently uttered a controversial statement about wanting to de-emphasize football at the University? Of course, that foot-in-mouth statement was met by the expected uproar, but Erickson might have been saying that we’ll never find anyone qualified to run this damn thing the way it had been run up until the firing of Paterno, so we have no choice but to reduce our expectations for the program and its yet to be named leader.

Munchak and Clements being the two big names bandied about lately means either of two things to this Turkey: Joyner’s committee is desperately flailing about trying to get someone, anyone willing, with some kind of credentials or at least a minimal tie-in to the program or the area, or there is a secret deal waiting for “the appropriate time” to be announced. In due course (or eventually, whichever comes later), this suspense will end. We might wind up with someone none of us had ever heard of, and then the questions will start. It will be a field day for writers. I’m oiling my arthritic turkey joints in advance of the big occasion.

I think that the name that emerges will be a complete surprise to the vast majority of us.

What do you think?

Wrapping Up a Leaderless Week

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“Quick hits” ah nytha quick nor hits. Twalk amongst yaselves. Discuss!

NOTE: My link to the Paterno “Due Process” petition below were originally broken. I have now corrected them. Please accept my apology for the extra work I caused people clicking on the original links — they got you to the right neighborhood, but then you had to search and go through multiple pages of results. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! Merry Christmas to all!

Hey, there’s a petition circulating via the Internet about the whole issue of the Joseph V. Paterno firing and its inherent rush to judgment. None of us wanted to see the old man depart with such a stain on him, certainly, but most of us know that he was at least to some extent culpable for covering up the Sandusky mess. Whether he knew then what we know now is a big issue. It is easy to ass-ume that he knew everything, but did he really? Does anybody have a reasonable doubt that he did? The petitioner, Anthony P. Lubrano ’82, thinks that due process was circumvented in Joe’s firing.

You might recognize Lubrano’s name. It is on the baseball stadium at Penn State.

Was due process circumvented as Lubrano asserts? Of course it was! When did a businessperson ever need a full jury trial to fire someone? The Board of Trustees does not owe anybody anything. Their decision is theirs and theirs alone.

Having said that, though, I must advise you that I in fact signed the petition. I think that Joe should should tell what he knew, but I also think that he has earned a place in the annals of football history without the proverbial asterisk. How about giving Joe a belated 85th birthday present by signing it? It costs you nothing but the few minutes required to navigate to the web site and read the petition.

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About two dozen well wishers gathered outside Joe Paterno’s home yesterday to sing Christmas carols and wish the ailing former head coach a happy birthday. Paterno could not come out because he was weak from the chemotherapy being used to treat his lung cancer, but wife Sue appeared briefly to corral some grandchildren playing in the yard, thanking the well wishers.

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The NCAA handed down its rulings to Ohio State in the wake of Tattoogate, and the sanctions were not pretty. The University’s original position was to vacate all of its 2010 victories and give back their bowl money, but the NCAA wanted to leave a more lasting impression. Head Coach Jim Tressell, who knew about the shenanigans but failed to tell administrators until it was too late, was handed down what amounts to a Typhoid Mary label in college football, a “show cause.” Tressell is presently working as a video coordinator, whatever that is, for the NFL Indianapolis Colts. Ohio State also lost scholarships and it may not play in a bowl game after the 2012 season.

But here’s the big question. The NCAA is investigating the Sandusky mess at Penn State under the same rule as Ohio State. This Turkey is quite certain that the NCAA has the desire to set a tough precedent with Ohio State, applying the same type of harsh punishment to the rash of schools that committed egregious sins that were discovered after Tattoogate. Methinks Penn State is in for some “Law West of the Pecos.”

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State College police have asserted that Matt McGloin and Curtis Drake will not be criminally charged for the fight that put McGloin in the hospital.

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This doesn’t affect Penn State very much, but USC quarterback Matt Barkley has promised that he would be back for his senior year. He’s saving the NFL money for later, and here’s hoping that he can finish 2012 injury free.

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Neither does this: I ran into Elayne Wershel and her daughter Billie, whom I haven’t seen for at least five years, at the Publix today. They were buying a turkey for a Hanukkah dinner. I couldn’t tell them to cook  a ham instead. Tragedy.

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Acting AD Dave Joyner has issued the following statement about his head coach search, after yet another week of rumors, innuendos, and no head coach:

“As we head into the holidays, I wanted to share an update on the search for the next head football coach at Penn State. We are continuing to talk with individuals that we’re interested in and work through the interview process. As I’m sure all can appreciate, this is a very important hire for Penn State and, as a result, the search committee is taking a very deliberate and measured approach to the process in order to identify the coach that best fits the requirements of the position.

“We look forward to introducing our new football coach at the appropriate time. In the interim, I’d like to wish everyone happy holidays as well as remind all Penn Staters to support our team and its 23 seniors as they compete against the 12-1Houston Cougars in the TicketCity Bowl in Dallas on January 2nd.”

So, there you have it: “… a very deliberate and measured approach … at the appropriate time … ” We’re being told we’re not going to have anyone anytime soon. This Turkey’s question is, was, and always has been, who’s going to be left by the time Joyner’s committee gets to doing what it should be doing. If they get too picky, they’ll dawdle themselves into a corner, where they’ll wind up having to hire Tom Bradley because no one else is available. (Bradley was thought to be a contender for the head coaching job at Pitt both last year and this year, but Pitt went and hired Wisconsin’s offensive coordinator, Paul Chryst, this week. So, Bradley is in limbo land once again. He wants to coach at a high profile program in Pennsylvania, but how many of those are there? Thank you.)

Would it be so bad to hire Bradley? Well, yes and no. Recruiting is already screwed up by all the decommits and by Paterno’s abrupt departure. Tom cannot screw things up much more. However, the unknown lurks around the corner for Tom, because it would be doubtful that he would get more than a one or two year contract. He and all the recruits would know that he was the consolation prize because Joyner’s committee farted around while all the good coaches were hired, and as such that he would have a limited future.

But it is starting to look like that’s the way it will go. Who is available? Who has been interviewed? My sources tell me that Bradley gets his interview sometime today. There are questions to be answered, such as how could a search committee charged with straightening out the football program hire a coach who possibly had complicity in the Sanduskygate cover-up? In fact, Bradley was Sandusky’s replacement in 2000, promoted from within a very close football organization. Did he know anything at all about the circumstances of Sandusky’s retirement (which Sandusky and his lawyers deny had anything to do with the “incidents” of the time)? The committee must use this interview to determine whether Bradley would be the guy to cut the programs losses or allow things to fester.

Aside from Chryst and, of course, Urban Meyer, a veritable plethora of head coaches have been hired during this break between the regular season and bowl games. I would really, really, really want to know who the hell is left. Bradley might yet be the best choice. Of course, if an NFL guy like former Penn Stater Mike Munchak of Tennessee is secretly on the hook and waiting until the NFL season ends, then I’ll recant what I’ve said here and change my tune to say that if they’ve already selected someone like Munchak, then they’re double-dealing the people they’ve been interviewing thus far, unless they’re specifically told that there is or are one or more potential NFL candidates, which will slow the search. But the Catch-22 there is that anyone’s who’s interviewing now is not going to wait weeks and weeks for a decision, because he’s got mouths to feed and unless he already has a coaching job, he needs one!

Do you now know more than when you started reading this “quick hit”? I didn’t think so.

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This Turkey was at the supermarket today observing people preparing to eat my relatives. Notwithstanding the sadness and angst this generates in my avian family, I still want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and whatever else brings you joy at this time of year. I’ll be back soon with some facts, opinions, and prognostications for the great big TicketCity.com Bowl. WooHoo!