Now, I’m doubly pissed off! Not only did the Nittany Lions make a poor showing of it in their 17-16 loss to Virginia on Saturday, but also in the game to which I’ve been looking forward for half the summer, Peyton Manning manninghandled the Steelers’ defense in the fourth quarter, winning it 31-19. At least the Lions came through for me in my NFL survivor pool (take THAT, Kubany! ????? ???? ???? ????? ), albeit in sloppy fashion. For the first full weekend of fall football entertainment, it sure as hell could be more entertaining.

On the good side, the AHA Heart Walk campaign proceeds apace, and big surprise, I scored a $500 donation this morning. So, at least on that front, things are looking up.

I really don’t have much to say about the Penn State game. As you all know, it was easily a winnable game, even without the services of our number one tailback, Bill Belton. ??? ???? ??? ???? Gaining 121 yards on the ground while holding the Cavaliers to 32, converting three of four fourth downs, and getting 19 first downs to Virginia’s 14 should have been enough for the Nittany Lions.  And throw in four turnovers for the Hoos to none for the Nits for good measure. However, our boys were awful on third down, converting only ten of 23, and, shhhhhhhhh, don’t want to spook the boy who’s already snake bit, but four missed field goals is a sure recipe for blowing a game.

Penn State looked good early — again — scoring on its first drive, a 17 play, 75 yard affair that consumed 6:27. But then, the Nittany Lions wouldn’t score again until the fourth period. Amazing! They sure as hell squandered the many opportunities they were given. Ficken missed from 40, 38, 20, and 42, but worst of all, he had an extra point blocked that would have sent the game to overtime, maybe, perhaps. He did make one from 32 after Mauti recovered a Cav fumble, and those were the only points realized from a turnover during the whole damn game.

I’ll give credit where credit is due. Mauti played a helluva game. I won’t pin the loss on Sam Ficken, either. The offense was just plain bad, and the third-down stats tell that tale quite well without much embellishment from me, thankyouverymuch.

One entertaining highlight was Glenn Carson running a faked punt 19 yards for one of those three fourth down conversions I mentioned. Got to give it to Ron Vanderlinden — he doesn’t mind his linebackers’ penchant for moonlighting!

So, it’s the Midshipmen next (whom I used to call the “midshipments” as a kid), who might be beatable if some of the many kinks can be worked out. But hear me talking, there are no sure things anymore this season. Not Temple, Not Northwestern, Not Indiana, Not Purdue. Iowa, maybe. They really suck this year. LOL. I’ll be back later this week with a savage tale of the midshipments who not only have a little girl in every port, but a little port in every girl.

******

Being in a rather masochistic mood last night due to what I described above, I went looking for a picture of

The Woman Who Took On Joe Paterno and Lost!

And here she is. No reason you should sleep tonight if I didn’t.

Then, I went looking for someone who could play her role in the forthcoming biopic about Joe Paterno, starring Al Pacino as Joe.

One image stuck in my head, which was probably due to her haircut and her suit. I think it works on more than one level, but I’m just not certain.

But I thought, “Get real, dude!” He was much too tall to play Vicky. He would not be believable, other than the facial resemblance.

So, that is when my mind wandered over to Charlize Theron. No, wait! I’m not talking about the South African beauty in her usual skin using the best Emeraldspa skin care products; I mean the way the makeup geniuses and Charlize’s acting talent were able to somehow transform her to fit the role of scuzzball Aileen Wuornos in “Monster.”

Well, what do you think? I like the idea, myself, although it led to nightmares when I finally was able to get to sleep last night. Also, I rolled it by the Twitter folks, one of whom required emergency therapy upon seeing the first of the pictures above. Nevertheless, I’m pretty sure that we got a consensus in favor of Charlize, but only if the same makeup crew is still available. ??? ???? ?? ?????

Update 9/11/12: I also wanted you to be able to see the early Vicky, so I’ve posted some high school yearbook pix.

I’ll be nice to you, though, since you guys are always nice to me. I’ll sign off with a picture of Charlize as she usually looks so you won’t have nightmares.

Feel better now?