The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Domino’s Oreo Dessert Pizza — An Al Qaeda Plot?

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Domino’s Oreo Dessert PizzaWho the hell dreamed up this latest food travesty? Osama bin Laden? I just saw the associated Domino’s commercial for the first time during an NFL game and I’m suitably disgusted. At first, I thought it was a damn spoof or something.

The damn thing looks like a small pizza with Oreo cookies crumbled on top and drizzled with an ominous looking, Elmer’s Glue-like white fluid. (I’m praying that this is confectioner’s sugar and water instead of what it looks like.) It is supposedly delivered warm.

From an August 29 Domino’s press release:

"We are thrilled to partner with a great brand like OREO-one that our
customers loved as kids and still love today," said Ken Calwell, chief
marketing officer, Domino's Pizza. "This is a great opportunity to combine
the power of Domino's Pizza and one of America's favorite cookies to
deliver a unique, fun and delicious new dessert for our customers!"

The commercial is just plain disgusting. After eating this garbage, a guy and a kid, presumably a father and son, get chocolate crumbs and shit on their faces in the shape of a pencil-line mustache (the kid) and a Van Dyke beard (the guy). The kid laments that he cannot achieve the fullness of the adult’s crap-beard. The shit-faced father offers words of encouragement, intimating that someday the kid will be able to get food all over his fucking face, just like Dad. So now, to add insult to injury, this commercial encourages slob-ass, piggish table manners while pushing its insidious poison at us.

Is it any wonder we’re turning into a nation of fat fucks if people actually order crap like this? Who the hell could stomach it, anyway? Kids, I imagine. We sure as hell are not training them well. Parents, do not—I repeat—do not accede to your kids’ wishes when they tell you they want this abomination. It is no doubt an Al Qaeda plot to render our population fat, sodden, and defenseless.

The Turkey Takes a Break

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I’ll be having major surgery on Tuesday, July 10. In the meanwhile, I’m going to be pretty busy getting things in order, so I thought I would take this opportunity to let my vast readership, both of you, know that I’ll be taking a break from writing this drivel.

People have asked me if I’ll be taking a laptop to the hospital to alleviate the boredom. Just what I’d need—refereeing chat room fights from my sickbed. No, I won’t be doing that. I’m expected to be in the hospital 3–5 days, and I shall see how much strength I have to get along without the electronic tether. I’ll have my cell phone, but at least there’ll be actual talking human beings on the other end of it. Besides, they don’t have Wi-Fi at the hospital, just dial-up.

Awwww, hell, I think I’ll take a computer. At least I can play DVDs on it. I’ll be bored, so I could answer some email while I’m at it. And, aw, what the hell, maybe I could get some work done. And maybe I’ll write some stuff for The Turkey. Yeah! Why the hell not?

One way or the other, I wish you folks a happy week or two and a great celebration of our nation’s independence from the Limeys. Ciao, for now.

Pain in the Neck

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It’s been a long time since I’ve written about health care, but in view of some recent developments on my personal health front, I felt the urge to blow off some steam once again. So I began reading articles on sites like http://www.braininjurylawyersorangecounty.com/ and a few others to gain more knowledge on injuries and how people should take the help of lawyers create a lawsuit. You can check out this source for chiropractic programs that will address your specific health needs when traditional medicine is no good.

My neck and back have long been sources of pain and frustration. MRIs and X-rays at various times in the past have revealed arthritic changes that were causing the pain by impinging on nerves at various points. Thus, it was no surprise that after my most recent bout with a two-week painful stiff neck, with severely restricted head motion, an MRI revealed that I had spinal cord compression at C4-5. A hospital bed can make a significant difference in supporting proper posture and minimizing pain. Check Out SonderCare for their great selection of hospital beds designed for comfort and support.

The story here is how the medical industry handled this diagnosis and how I probably could have the diagnosis almost four years ago if my doctor of the time hadn’t been dismissive, for whatever reason.

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