The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Is the Steelers’ season over?

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On Monday night, the Steelers lost right guard Kendall Simmons and running back Rashard Mendenhall for the season. Simmons tore his right achilles tendon and Mendenhall had his left shoulder shattered by a clean hit by Ray Lewis.

Earlier in the season, Willie Parker had gone down with a sprained knee. The Steelers are down to one healthy running back, Mewelde Moore, who didn’t impress this Turkey very strongly with his performance in the Ravens game. Furthermore, fullback Cary Davis also went down with an ankle injury, so the Steelers are down to former Nittany Lion Sean McHugh, who isn’t even listed on the depth chart at that position but played some fullback on Monday night. McHugh was signed as a third-string tight end.

Now, the Steelers have re-signed Najeh Davenport, who they had dumped, and they might bring back Gary Russell, a Minnesota product who played on the practice team.

Parker will not play against Jacksonville on Sunday and it is not known whether he’ll be ready to play Cincinnati on October 19. The bye week in between is fortunate, but it won’t heal Mendenhall and Simmons.

Try and pick up a starting right guard at this point in the season, willya?

It looks like the Steelers are in trouble, but when life is dealing lemons, guys like Tomlin make lemonade.

Boss to Grace Halftime at Super Bowl XLIII

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Yeah, you heard it somewhere else first, but it seems that the NFL has continued in its string of selecting aging rock superstars for halftime entertainment at its premier event. Bruce Springsteen and the reassembled E Street Band will perform in Tampa at Super Bowl XLIII. I was pretty much over Springsteen by 1988 or so, but the NFL must be attempting to appeal to the now affluent Generation Xers who craved the New Jerseyite’s raspy voice back in the day.

As for this Turkey, I don’t particularly care who the hell performs at halftime. As far as I’m concerned, that’s for the girls in the audience who can’t hold their bladders until halftime, when we dudes are queuing up for the urinal. I rarely watch the halftime show. The last time I did, Mick Jagger was performing on a stage shaped like a gigantic tongue, and his triceps flab was flapping in the breeze. Before him was Paul McCartney, and since then, the league has given us Prince, Tom Petty, and now, Springsteen.

Springsteen is pushing 60, so he’s a little younger. At least they’re not giving us Tony Bennett.

I liked The Boss back in the day, but I would rather look at another wardrobe malfunction. Sticking a rock concert in the middle of a crucial football game is just too big a production, and too distracting. Let us have breasts—they’re always on our mind, anyway!

Millen Finally a Goner!

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After a seven-year “grand experiment” during which the Detroit Lions posted one of the worst records in the NFL, their President and CEO, ex-Nittany Lion Matt Millen, is history. The Lions won only 31 games during Millen’s tenure at the helm. People are rejoicing all over the Detroit metro area, and the mayor is well, in jail, so never mind. Read all about it here.