Northwestern 23, Penn State 21

The Northwestern Wildcats (7-2, 3-2 Big Ten) defeated the Penn State Nittany Lions (7-3, 4-2 Big Ten) 23-21 at Ryan Field in Evanston, Illinois on Saturday.

I guess this Penn State team and its coaches once again failed to take the advice of the sage Turkey, as they squandered repeated opportunities in going down to defeat at the behest of the Northwestern Wildcats. Penn State will go into the bye week with a sour taste in its mouth, with the spectre of a 7-5 season and a trip to the Toilet.com Bowl lying ahead. [Read more…]

Penn State at Northwestern Preview and Prediction

So, the Turkey will pull any Cheap Trick to get more search engine hits, consequently invoking the name of a pop band from Los Angeles in the title plus including the name of a famous Rockford, Illinois (that’s in Winnebago County) rock band in this sentence should do the trick today, cheaply. Didn’t hurt to mention the name of a famous recreational vehicle there, either, did it? Don’t stop me, I’m on a roll!

The Northwestern Wildcats (6-2, 2-2 Big Ten) host the mighty Penn State Nittany Lions (7-2, 4-1 Big Ten) at Ryan Field on Saturday in what should be an interesting match-up. The Wildcats are coming off a tough win over sad-sack Nebraska two weeks ago followed by a bye week, while the Lions kicked some serious Fightless Illini ass, 39-0.

Whither the Polls for These Two?

First, let me ask a question about meaningless rankings. Why should Michigan (6-2), Ole Miss (7-2), UCLA (6-2), Mississippi State (6-2), and Texas A&M (6-2) be ranked in the top 25 while these two, two-loss teams are left out? I notice in the AP Poll that Northwestern got 21 votes and PSU got 5, while in the Coaches Poll Northwestern got 15 and PSU, 5. Ain’t no respect being shown there.

I suppose Northwestern, being a relatively infrequent visitor to the Top 25, is an afterthought of the voters. Penn State is sort of in the same position, not having been up there recently, since the (cue cello plus contrabassoon) dreaded sanctions.

It’ll probably require two more wins for the Nittany Lions to get any attention from the big polls, although some minor good news is that CBSSports.com has listed Penn State #23 in their rankings this week. Nevertheless, unless you are a numbers ho, any ranking by any poll is semi-arbitrary and meaningless. I like to blow wind, so I mentioned it anyway.

The one that actually counts is the College Football Playoff Rankings, through which, eventually, the final four teams for the playoffs are selected. While Penn State and Northwestern are presently far removed from competing at that level, it is interesting that in their first week of results, the panel of geniuses included Northwestern at #21, while Penn State was nowhere to be found.

But I digress. Here is a chance for yet another move forward to restored relevancy for Penn State, albeit a small and somewhat symbolic one. If Penn State defeats Northwestern, the Condoleeza-Alvarez-Osborn Crew will have no choice but to rank the Nittany Lions in the Top 25 this week. And that ain’t chopped liver!

Gratuitous Lame Sportscaster Rant

In the present lame, inane, ubiquitous sports commentator vernacular, “If I’m Penn State, I’m not happy with that snub, and I view this game as a chance to gain respect.” Yeah, man. If I’m Penn State? Can anyone listen to that stupidity without ROFLing, LOLing, and LMAOing? Back in the day, after Dizzy Dean’s great pitching career with the Cards, Cubs, and Browns ended, he became a sports broadcaster. Dean was lambasted publicly by schoolteachers and moms for using crappy grammar — he said “ain’t” a lot, as well as crap like “Al Zarilla slud into third” — but the latter indicates that he at least knew the difference between present and past tenses and Ol’ Diz sure as hell wouldn’t have ever thought he ever could be the St. Louis Cardinals.

A lot of folks who ain’t sayin’ ‘ain’t,’ ain’t eatin’. So, Teach, you learn ’em English, and I’ll learn ’em baseball.” —Dizzy Dean

Seriously, though, don’t you get sick and tired of hearing this same tenseless, voiceless, moodless, inane, brainless “If I’m the Packers, I’m…” crap at every turn of the dial?

Oh, boy, an 11 a.m. CT start!

ESPN put this game on the six-day death watch, culminating in last Sunday’s decision to kick off at noon ET. The Nittany Lions have a crappy reputation with respect to playing noon games on the road, dating way the hell back into the St. Joe days. Interesting note, though. On Bob Flounders’ chat thingie on PennLive.com, someone posted that they had done the research regarding road games with early kickoff times, revealing that PSU was 5-3 in 11 a.m. CT road games since 2013. I’m too lazy to verify that, but what I think it means to me is that we remember the losses much longer than we remember the wins. Furthermore, the Penn State road nooner effect dates back to a helluva lot before 2013. We were bitching about it in the early millennial days, better known as (cue cello) The Dark Years.

Northwestern: How they got here.

People took notice of this Northwestern team when it beat Stanford 16-6 at the season’s start. They rolled over cupcake Eastern Illinois, then traveled to Duke and won there. After a win against Ball State, the Wildcats soundly trounced Minnesota 27-0, earning a 5-0 record and a #13 ranking going into the Michigan game.

What happened on Homecoming Day at the Big House bordered on criminal, as the Wolverines made kitty litter out of the Wildcats, 38-0. At that point, Northwestern had been giving up only seven points a game; against Michigan, they gave up 21 in the first quarter. They never got on track offensively, trying out three different quarterbacks with no success, while repeatedly making costly errors.

The tough times didn’t end there for the ‘Cats. They next hosted Iowa, to whom they lost 40-10. The defense gave up 492 yards to the Hawkeyes, while the offense once again shot itself in the foot, fumbling away the ball three times. Between these two losses, the team’s self-confidence had been severely shaken; they seemed transformed and pussified.

Northwestern next limped into Lincoln with a 6-2 record, struggling with the negativism that two thorough ass-kickings in a row can wreak on a team. At a team meeting on game Monday, the Wildcats vowed not to let that kind of thing happen again. Thing is, it almost did, although it would have been a lot closer. Nebraska was leading 22-20 going into the fourth quarter and had dominated time of possession. The NU defense managed to do its job fairly well, allowing only 82 rushing yards to Big Red and intercepting one Tommy Armstrong pass for a pick six, while the balanced offense made few mistakes, in the end prevailing 30-28.

Northwestern: Who they is.

Since taking over as head coach at Northwestern in 2006, Pat Fitzgerald has compiled a 66-55 overall record, including 32-44 in the Big Ten. Fitz has taken the Wildcats to five bowl games, winning only one, the 2013 Gator Bowl, which closed out his best season, ending up with a 10-3 record and a 17th national ranking. In spite of what looks like a mediocre overall record, Fitzgerald is the all-time winningest coach in Northwestern University football history, both overall and in-conference.

Defense not too shabby

Northwestern ranks 17th in total defense among NCAA FBS teams. While the rushing defense is 43rd (that’s just below PSU’s 42nd), the Wildcats’ passing efficiency defense ranks third nationally through eight games, right between Michigan and Ohio State. They have given up only three touchdown passes all year, while intercepting seven.

The experienced defensive line is anchored by 6-6, 280 lb senior defensive end Dean Lowry, who is credited with 10.5 tackles for loss, along with junior Ifeadi Odenigbo and senior Deonte Gibson. Lowry had 10 tackles against Nebraska, including six TFLs, the most in a single college football game this season. He was named Big Ten Defensive player of the week. This defensive front will be a handful for the Five Traffic Cones. Lowry in particular will need to be double-teamed, because Paris Palmer won’t be able to deal with him.

You can always count on Fitzgerald to have lots of talent at linebacker. At MLB, sophomore Anthony Walker is a stud with 67 tackles and 10.5 TFLs.

The defensive secondary has a collection of excellent backs who have an eye for the ball. Junior Matthew Harris has broken up seven passes and snagged three interceptions, one of them a 47-yard pick-six. Senior cornerback Nick VanHoose returned his first interception of the season 72 yards against Nebraska for his first career touchdown. Sophomore free safety Godwin Igwebuike is second in tackles with 46 total and 2.5 TFLs.

The best thing for Penn State to do will be to run on this defense. Yeah, right. That’s what everybody is thinking. I hope John Donovan thinks outside the box.

Offensive woes

On offense, the Wildcats suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck in the passing game. Fitz is concerned that without a balanced attack, opponents can load up on the line. Passing aside, redshirt freshman quarterback Clayton Thorson behind an experienced offensive line presents some problems that can trouble the Penn State defense in areas we know all too well. He is mobile and tends to run six to ten times a game. Most recently, Thorson ran for 126 yards against Nebraska, with a long run of 68 yards for a touchdown. He is the second-leading rusher on the team. Justin Jackson spearheads the rushing attack with 731 yards and one touchdown. He is averaging 91.4 yards per game. Good numbers, but Fitzgerald believes that the blocking at the point of attack could be better, and he has his staff working on improvements.

Funny thing — Fitzgerald at his press conference inferred that Northwestern is struggling with third down conversions and they need to find ways to sustain drives. Oh yeah? Northwestern ranks 30th nationally in third down conversions at 44.1%. Compare that to Penn State’s 125th ranking at 28.9%. Fitz, what the hell are you complaining about???!?!

Special teams — suckage equality

On special teams, both Northwestern and Penn State suuuuuuuuuuuck. Punter Hunter Niswander averages 38.1 yards vs Dan Pasquariello’s 39.9. A brighter spot for the Wildcats is kickoff returns, where Solomon Vault is averaging 26.3 yards per return, including one returned for a touchdown. Northwestern leads the country in punt return defense, allowing an average of -1.5 yards (but only 6 punts have been returned against them all year, suggesting that Niswander probably shanks most of them irretrievably out-of-bounds LOL).

The Turkey’s Five Keys to a PSU Victory

1. Handle Dean Lowry and Anthony Walker at the LOS. They aren’t the TFL Studs for nothin’, and while the Traffic Cones have exhibited some improvement as of last week, especially with both Angelo Mangiro and Wendy Laurent in the lineup together, they’re facing stiff — and fresh — opposition this week. Don’t allow another Sack-a-Hack debacle and give our freshman ace Saquon Barkley some running room!
2. Maintain discipline on defense. The Penn State rushing defense, which we’re conditioned to think is invincible, is allowing 143.9 yards per game and 12 touchdowns, ranking sixth in the Big Ten. One big reason for the underperformance of this group, injuries and poor tackling aside, has been their penchant for being beaten by mobile, fleet-footed quarterbacks. Well, don’t look now, but Clayton Thorson has been known to bolt from the pocket nine or ten times in any given game. Don’t let him get the edge! And one more thing: make tackles!
3. Convert third downs. Yeah, I keep harping on it, but if the defense doesn’t get a rest via long drives by the offense, chasing a slippery quarterback and a talented RB all over the field will have them sucking wind by the third quarter with the game on the line. Penn State absolutely SUCKS at converting third downs. They’re not last in the conference, but also very close to last in all of top-division NCAA football. Only Miami of Ohio and Kent State are worse in the entire FBS.
4. Wake up. Yeah, after last week, it is easy to think that — well, sheeeit! — we’re home free. Who can stop the juggernaut? Who, I ask you? You know I’m jerking your chain. Eleven a.m. kickoffs on the road are rough any way you look at them. Northwestern will be well rested. Those guys better be awake.
5. Don’t make this a slopfest. Penalties’ll killya. Turnovers’ll killya. In what figures to be a close game (on paper, at least), mistakes of any kind will killya.

Happy Halloween from the Wildcats

Instead of featuring a distinguished alumnus or alumna this week, we’ll just let the entire team perform for you in costume.

Happy Halloween from @NUFBFamily! https://t.co/51bbgPrHee

— Pat Fitzgerald (@coachfitz51) October 30, 2015

Who said it can’t be fun? Wonder how hard Donatello really hits?

Da Wedda

Good football weather at Ryan Field! Sunny, with a high of 53° and a quartering 10 mph breeze. Advantage: everyone!

Official Turkey Poop Prediction

So here we are, folks, at the tenth game of the season with two to go after this one. Sure has all passed in a flash, ain’t?  Some of you probably think this Nittany Lions team is over the hump, having destroyed mighty Illinois last week. I don’t care if you think that way, just as long as they don’t. This is not the time to be complacent. The Illinois game might well have been their last win of the year if they don’t put out the same effort in each of the remaining three.

I’ve seen it written that this Penn State team has solved its problems, a conclusion anyone should be able to draw from the Illinois rout. Sorry, but we need to see some consistent performances like last week before we can conclude that. Too many of us are well aware of the roller coaster ride we’ve taken with this group and prior instances. I’m from Missouri.

(No, not literally. Shadddddup!)

Northwestern is the lowest ranked opponent of the remaining three. Lose this one and my 7-5 season prediction will likely come true. You don’t want that to happen, do you?

The gambling line on this game is presently 2½ points in favor of Northwestern, with an over/under of 40½, suggesting a 21-19 Wildcat victory.

Man, would I love to see another blowout by Penn State! After all, Michigan, with damn little offense blew these ‘Cats off the face of the map, and Iowa gave them a 30-point ass whippin’, scoring 40 on them. So, why can’t the Nittany Lions sustain what they started last week and put at least 40 on these upstarts? Will they? If the stars align, yeah, maybe. Was last week a fluke where everything went right and the stars actually did align? Yeah, maybe. Inconsistency aside, Northwestern 24, Penn State 20. Take the over.

 

I’ll be back sometime after the game with the Official Turkey Wrap.

The Penn State Nittany Lions (4-1, 1-1 Big Ten) were roundly defeated by the much maligned Northwestern Wildcats (2-2, 1-0) by the score of 29-6. It wasn’t nearly as close as the score indicates. Northwestern established themselves early, quickly jumping to a 14-0 lead before the Nittany Lions put on their jock straps and scored their first points.

This is the first time since that wonderful 6-4 classic versus Iowa in 2004, also a homecoming game, that Penn State did not score a single touchdown in a game at home in Beaver Stadium. Ten years, man! We’re harkening back to the sucky sounds of [cue foreboding cello in minor key] The Dark Years. This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!

Big thanks go to Big Al, who not only forecast the Nittany Lions’ flatness, sort of, but also never swung to the Sanguinarian side when Penn State looked good against the bottom of the barrel of the FBS. He’s consistently called a spade a spade all along.

Thanks also to Joe, who provided the headline for this article with his post-game comment.

Toejam, who watched the game via BTN2GO on his smartphone declared, “It’s been a f*cking waste of bandwidth!” Good thing it didn’t cause him to exceed his limit.

If you were among the Sanguinarians, this turkey included, who had a warm fuzzy feeling about this team after the UMass cupcake crusher, think again, buster! The 2014 Nittany Lions are not yet ready for prime time, and one has to wonder what lies ahead for them.

Big Al had predicted that they would come out flat for 2-1/2 quarters and have to come from behind to win. Specifically, he said, “I’m expecting 2-1/2 quarters of last week’s 1st quarter.” However, he still had PSU winning 19-13. He added the comment, “A slightly better game than the 14-7 loss during the dark years. That game might have been the low point of [St.] Joe’s career.”

On the basis of his apt and prescient pessimism, I’m declaring Big Al this weeks Ace Predictor of the Week.

(Quit yer whining. Yeah, he predicted the wrong winner, but he had the right mindset.)

There were flaws in his prediction, to be sure.  This 29-6 beat-down wasn’t slightly better than that 14-7 loss. It was a helluva lot worse. Penn State was never in the game, now were they? And they never did anything to act like they wanted it.

This is a team in disarray. When your star quarterback is not seeing open receivers and getting into sideline arguments with them, you know there’s trouble in Happy Valley.

Both lines sucked. It seemed as if Northwestern was able to move the ball at will against our vaunted defense, on which it appeared that Mike Hull was the only player flying to the ball at times. They had no fire. Northwestern was able to rush for 104 yards on 38 attempts.

On offense, the O-Line is a total mess, not providing blocking for the run and not providing protection for the passer. Christian Hackenberg was beaten up once again and was visibly limping by the third quarter (although I’m not completely certain that it was hurt pride more than a hurt body). He completed fewer than half his passes, with no touchdowns and one costly pick six interception, although the game was already lost at that point. His final QBR was 12.7. I’m faulting the O-Line for some of that, but Hackenberg’s timing and accuracy was off for most of the day. And so, I think, was his attitude.

He wasn’t seen rallying the troops, as a team captain should. I think that at some point James Franklin should have noticed that Hack — perhaps frustrated by his receivers being continually covered and not having enough time to find open ones — was in need of some motivational ass-kicking. Hack is a sophomore — yeah, he’s a kid — but he was chosen as a team captain and he damn well needs to act like one. No pouting is allowed.

So, what’s this I hear about a “sophomore slump”?

Am I being too hard on Hack? Perhaps, but I’m being hard on Franklin, too.

The word you’re going to hear and read for the next two weeks is “answers”. People are going to want a lot of them.

This Nittany Lions team is frankly not good enough to play in the top tier of the Big Ten. Yeah, I know. One bad beat-down and I’m whining about how bad they are. But five games into the season, we should be seeing an improvement in the offensive line and we’re not. They’re getting worse. Did you see them out there blocking each other? Did you see Mangiro getting pushed back every other play? These guys aren’t going to hold up through the Big Ten schedule.

Meanwhile, Northwestern found some particular softness in the middle of the PSU D-line. That was supposed to be the Lions’ great strength. Harrrrrumph!

Third down efficiency continues to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Today it was 3-17.

Turnovers, too. Aside from Hack’s errant throw, he coughed up the ball after a hard sack. Adrian Amos had a lucky interception, and Penn State wound up driving its cumulative turnover margin southward by one. Boil out the five gift interceptions of Gary Nova and you’ve got a minus six, caused by the combination of a defense that can’t force turnovers and an offense that can’t protect the ball. Thanks to Mr. Nova, they’re not tied for 110th place along with Vanderbilt for that crappy distinction. (But Michigan is #125 with a -10 hahahahaha).

Northwestern’s defense looked pretty good, but the scary thing is that they were ranked 73rd in total defense coming into this game. Michigan is ranked #8. Ohio State and Michigan State are 13 and 14. Even Purdue is 61st.

Pat Fitzgerald gambled several times on offense. Why not? He had little to lose. His defense was in charge and it really looked like they could move the ball at will against Penn State. Sitting on a 14 point lead, why not go for the bundle? In the end, though, it was more Penn State’s crappy, desperate play that sealed the deal.

As the late Tampa Bay Bucs coach John McCay once responded to a question after a particularly putrid performance by the Bucs about whether he could find anything positive in the loss to Detroit:

“Yes. The parking lot will be a lot emptier next week against Green Bay and people will be able to get in and out easier.”

OK, so who can find anything positive to say? K. John?

Two weeks until the loss to Michigan and there are too many problems to correct to even make a good show of it.

I think this was my fault. Before the game, I created a specialty libation in order to salute our opponent. It is called the Purple Pussycat Passion, and it is made from Tito’s vodka, Triple Sec, Welch’s grape juice, cranberry juice, and Blue Curação, with a moonshine macerated maraschino cherry. It went over big with the assembled multitude in The Cave.

I’ll be back at some point with a preview of the Michigan game. So help me, I need some encouragement from you readers to redevelop a sense of optimism about the boys. At this point, all I can say is that most of us probably got caught up in post-cupcake euphoria, and we need to temper our expectations accordingly.