The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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The Cream Rises to the Top

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Iowa was a pretender. Penn State was a pretender. They both went down today, while Ohio State showed that they can play football.

This Turkey had nagging suspicions each time he sat down to preview a game this season, suspicions that Penn State had not yet played a decent football team. That instinct proved to be accurate.

Meanwhile, Iowa, the Kardiac Kids, kept winning and somehow made it up to #4 nationally. Each game they played made me wonder how they managed to keep winning. Turns out that they, too, had been playing against chumps. All it took was an injury to their starting quarterback and they were exposed for what they really are. If you have suffered a brain injury, then you can check out brain injury attorneys from. If there are injuries from truck accident , then attorneys for the same can be hired from here!

I’m not saying that Ohio State’s 24-7 victory over Penn State on Saturday puts the Buckeyes up there among the college football elite. This year’s team is not even close to being among the best they have put on the field at Ohio Stadium. They did what they had to do to win, and that’s what good teams do.

So, yeah, in one fell swoop, Iowa (9-1, 5-1 Big Ten) and Penn State (8-2, 4-2 Big Ten) wind up sucking hind tit while Ohio State (8-2, 5-1 Big Ten) puts itself in a position to snatch up yet another Big Ten championship with a win over Iowa next week in Columbus.

Of the two vaunted defenses, Penn State indeed proved itself to be the pretender. The Nittany Lions, who appeared slightly better on paper than the Buckeyes, wound up surrendering 228 rushing yards, while they were only able to run for 76 yards themselves. The Ohio State front seven is the most competent the Lions have faced this season, and they pushed around the hapless PSU offensive line pretty badly.

Penn State was 4-16 on third down conversions and had only nine first downs to OSU’s 15. This, of course, meant that there was a lot of punting going on, which is a very dangerous thing for Penn State, in that the punt coverage has sucked all year.

Ohio State’s Ray Small had a damn field day returning punts. He had 130 yards on seven returns, the longest being a 45-yarder at the end of the third quarter which would have gone all the way were it not for punter Jeremy Boone’s saving tackle. On an earlier big play back in the first quarter, Small scampered for a 41 yard return that put the Buckeyes in the red zone, from whence they scored their first touchdown of the day.

Here’s Buckeye quarterback Terrelle Pryor’s take on how big Small was for a small guy: “It was big. Ray Small, no one understands how big of a player Ray Small is. He’s small but he makes a lot of plays, and he’s so fast. For him to take it down there and for us to punch it in and take care of the opportunity, it was huge for us to go up 7-0.”

From the small Small’s big return forward, Penn State was in the hole, and they kept digging themselves in deeper. The defense could not contain Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor — either passing or running. He had 5 rushes for 50 yards and a touchdown, and was 8-17 passing for 125 yards and two touchdowns. His was a competent performance without any serious errors.

Meanwhile, Daryll Clark had a miserable day behind a mediocre offensive line that could not afford him the protection he deserved. Clark was 12-28 for 125 yards and one inconsequential interception.

The Penn State running game, as I alluded above, was not present. Evan Royster, who had hurt himself in practice and had shaken off the injury to play, had only 13 carries for 36 yards. His long run was 8 yards. Daryll Clark was the second leading rusher with 20 yards.

Derek Moye had no catches, as the Ohio State secondary chose to cover him closely. Thus, Graham Zug was the leading receiver with 7 catches for 96 yards.

Say what you will about Pryor, but this Turkey says that he played a good game, and the proof is on the scoreboard. He hit the passes he needed to hit and he was a slippery runner, as usual.

Unfortunately, our hitherto quasi-untested Nittany Lion secondary proved itself to not up to today’s big time test, as Ohio State’s DeVier Posey slipped behind the safeties for a third-quarter touchdown reception that broke the Lions’ spirit. That made it 17-7. Ohio State would score one more touchdown; Penn State would not score again.

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The Much Anticipated

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The much anticipated, much ballyhooed OSU-PSU game is upon us. At season’s outset, we all thought November 7 would be the bigggggggggggg day for the bigggggggggggg game, but it has turned out to be a little less consequential than the pre-season hype would have had it. (Yeah, the rose colored glasses were all seeing the winner of this battle going to the SSMNC game, while the loser would have to cry in their beer in Pasadena, thinking about what might have been.) The NCAA FBS is a cruel world, however, and things usually don’t tend to work out as our simplistically idealistic pundits would want them to.

So, #11 Penn State (8-1, 4-1 Big Ten) will host #15 Ohio State (7-2, 4-1 Big Ten), not for all the proverbial marbles but presumably for some pretty significant agates, namely, a potential piece of the Big Ten championship and peradventure, a possible BCS bowl, perhaps, maybe, perchance.

This is where hack sportswriters typically get into pontificating about who is going to what bowl if this and that happens, and who “controls their own destiny.” This is where this Turkey gets off. I’m with Paterno. Play the damn games one at a time without characterizing them with something in particular that has a p=.31 probability of happening if our team wins, Iowa loses, Michigan beats OSU down the road, Obama farts, and Paris Hilton is found to be mono-orgasmic.

I particularly despise the trite piece of crap sports slang: “controls one’s own destiny.” See my earlier post on the subject.

But this isn’t about me. Or is it? Yeah, I write this stuff to amuse myself, but I hope that in the process, I’m amusing someone out there in the vast, silent but bucolic pond of kindred spirits who read the Turkey, as well as in the fetid, redolent, malodorous cesspool from whence steenking Turkey haters surface occasionally to accuse this pristine journalist of not giving Iowa enough credit whilst dissing Paris Hilton’s dysfunctional clitoris. But I digress.

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Now We Know

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If 37-17 looks bad, it really wasn’t that close. Ohio State was just better in every respect. They controlled the ball, made few mistakes, and thoroughly dominated the Nittany Lions in front of a hostile crowd of 110,000+. Before this Turkey starts grumbling about certain aspects of the Penn State performance, I have to state that the Buckeyes deserve unfettered credit for a well played and well coached game.

Twenty-four first downs to the Nittany Lions’ 14; 37:52 time of possession to PSU’s 22:08; 453 yards to 263—these are statistical indications of domination. The worst of it is that the Buckeyes didn’t even seem to work up a sweat in thrashing the Lions. Except for a single turnover, they played a mistake-free game while keeping Penn State on its heels all night long.

At first, it appeared that Penn State would have a chance, as the Lions engineered a well played 9-play, 78-yard drive in the first quarter for a touchdown that would provide the Lions’ only lead of the evening. ?????? ??? ???? ???? The drive involved passing on first and second downs, something we have seen succeed in the past few weeks. However, after this touchdown, it seemed as if the offensive brain trust decided to tighten up the proverbial anal sphincter, reverting to the run until desperation time in the fourth quarter.

The next opportunity for conservative clamping of the offense occurred with 1:10 remaining in the second quarter. Ohio State was up 17-7, but Penn State had the ball on the OSU 38, fourth down and two yards to go. It could have been an opportunity to end the half on a high note and preserve the White Out crowd’s rambunctiousness. A touchdown at the end of the first half would have brought the score to within a field goal. Alas, the decision was to punt the ball. Ohio State then took the ball, got a first down on the ground and took one shot at a big play from Boeckman to Robiskie. Fortunately for Penn State, the pass fell incomplete, and the Buckeyes just ran out the clock.

In the third quarter, with Ohio State up 24-7, the Lions put together another drive that would get them into the red zone. In my family room—better known as “the cave”—several shrieks of sheer terror punctured the tense night air. Penn State was in the red zone. Oh my God—how will they screw it up this time? Sure enough, they couldn’t get the ball into the end zone. The first play from the OSU 8 was a run up the middle, predictably stuffed for a two-yard loss. Did they really think it would work? Then, the Three Stooges decided to pass, but passes to Butler and Bell fell incomplete. Enter Kevin Kelly for yet another chip-shot field goal that should have been a touchdown. It succeeded and brought the Lions back to within two touchdowns, with red zone ineptitude reconfirmed.

Early in the fourth quarter, Ohio State added a field goal. Then, it came—the signature moment of a game that was already out of hand, which would subsequently break that game wide open and put redemption out of reach for the Nittany buy tramadol cod available Lions. It was the ugliest interception this Turkey has ever seen. Who knows what Morelli was thinking when he threw that pass that was intercepted by Malcolm Jenkins at the 24 and run in for a touchdown. It appeared to be thrown right to the surprised OSU cornerback. Morelli went to the bench hanging his head, knowing that the game was lost. With 9:36 left, it was Ohio State 34, Penn State 10.

Morelli made three obvious mistakes in this game and this was by far the ugliest. His fumble in the first quarter was quickly covered by Quarless, and his only other major mistake was taking a sack when he should have thrown the ball away. All in all, it wasn’t an awful day for Morelli until the ugly interception happened, an interception that will linger in Morelli’s memory forever. And we will replay it again and again in our minds—albeit unfairly—when we think back to this game.

Daryll Clark replaced Morelli at quarterback for the next Penn State drive, which ended abruptly with Jordan Norwood coughing up the pigskin at the Penn State 39. This eventually resulted in the final points of the evening for the Buckeyes, a 35-yard field goal.

The ensuing kickoff generated a little too-little/too-late excitement as speedy A.J. Wallace took the ball at the 3 yard-line and ran it back 97 yards for a touchdown that would provide the Lions’ final points in the game. ?????? ??? This might have represented the Buckeyes’ only major mistake of the game. If they had kicked the ball to Derrick Williams, he would have been tackled at the 12.

As for our defense, you know it let us down. I should not have to say much. In the secondary, both Lydell Sargeant and Justin King were regularly lit up, but putting the blame completely on them is unfair. The defensive line was able to put absolutely no pressure whatsoever on Boeckman. The OSU offensive line is that good. The hitherto vaunted Maurice Evans was basically invisible. ??? ???? ?? ?????? Furthermore, starting safety Tony Davis was sidelined, having undergone an appendectomy on Friday. He was replaced by Mark Rubin, making his second start. As for shutting down the run, the projected Beanie-bashing did not take place, as Chris “Beanie” Wells was able to run for 133 yards and his dreadlocked compadre, Maurice Wells added another 55.

Can I find any positives in Penn State’s performance? Yes. I believe that Andrew Quarless has come a long way, particularly in his blocking. And while Lawlor will not immediately step into Matt Hahn’s shoes, he did relieve some of the sting of Hahn’s departure. The offensive line did a pretty good job, too, against the formidable Buckeye defensive front seven. If the defense had played as well, 17 points might have been enough to make a game out of it.

And now, I must shift my attention to the Steelers, who will try to corral Ocho Cinco and Who’s Yo Mama. I’ll be back on Wednesday with some impertinent comments about the Nittany Lions’ next opponents, the Purdue Boilermakers. Will Morelli start?