The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Recap of Predictions for Illinois Game

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The Nittany Turkey Esteemed Panel of Experts’ Predictions:

Here they are. Bragging rights accrue to the best predictor. Still not too late to get yours in!

Big Al – PSU 20, Illinois 16

“The team that has the fewest turnovers wins this game. If the turnovers are even, State wins. Neither team is good enough to win with a negative turnover margin. If I were betting on this shisser, I would take Illinois and the under. Assuming an even turnover margin, I think State wins by about 4 points – something like 20-16.” [Read more…]

Panel Picks Reprise (Updated)

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Here’s the latest pre-season selection matrix. I’m considering this the final one, as the season looms nigh. Following the presentation of the predictions, I’ll tell you a little bit about the predictors.

Game BigAl Joe K.John TNT Drozz Mike Toejam RD Con
UCF L W W L L W W L T
Akron W W W L W W W W W
Rutgers L W W W W W W W W
UMass W W W W W W W W W
NWU W W W W W W W W W
UM L L W L W L L L L
OSU L L L L L L L L L
Maryland L W W W W W W W W
Indiana W L W W W W L L W
Temple W W W W W W W W W
Illinois W W W W W W W W W
Moo U. L L L L L L W L L
Season 6-6 8-4 10-2 7-5 9-3 9-3 9-3 7-5 8-3-1

 
Without further ado, please permit me to introduce those members of the Nittany Turkey Panel of Experts who submitted predictions, as well as those who didn’t do so for whatever reason. Quite a rogues’ gallery, as it were.

First of all, “Con” is Mr. Consensus, a guy with no mind of his own. He just goes along with the crowd.
Carnac the Magnificent

Walt opted out based on the notion that shit happens during the season. That’s how an industrial engineer thinks. Franklin (4) was his only prediction. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell that means.

Toejam omitted the Temple game from his picks yet listing only 11 games he said the Nittany Lions would finish 8-4. That’s how an electrical engineer thinks. Remarkably, something must have short-circuited in his brain, because he has PSU winning over Moo U. , a very bold prediction. Toejam and the Missus are winging their way to Dublin as I write this, and Bäårgärbünga Vðlcâno notwithstanding, will be attending the game at Cróke Park live on Saturday.

RD chose not to submit any picks. That’s no doubt because he typically postulates at this juncture that they can still be 12-0. That’s how an industrial engineer thinks, probabilistically speaking. I would have put that in there for him but then I’d have to counterbalance it with some mythical schmuck picking them for 0-12. But I digress. RD doesn’t know it yet but he will be bringing the breakfast Guinness Stout on Saturday.

THIS JUST IN (Updated 8/26/2014)… RD has made his picks and he opines most conservatively, to wit:

“The time for 12-0 has passed.  Time to get real.  This 1st Franklin season is not easy to predict.  New coaches, young team (only 11 players in their last year of eligibility).  While the schedule is somewhat favorable, no Wisconsin revenge, osu and msu home games, the mostly new OL and WR positions will be subpar at the beginning of the season.  Injuries coupled with the lack of 10 scholarships could be disastrous.”

Three retired engineers with three advanced degrees. Three different viewpoints. One can’t add. Wait, what? You say Walt isn’t retired? Yeah, well his response was also the most convoluted. This tells me that work is overrated, particularly when you’re a 70 year-old Slovak.

Meanwhile, Mike, a non-retired software engineer/computer scientist (i.e., salesman) with an advanced degree (from Cheater U, no less) likes the Lions to go 9-3, beating his alma mater in Game One. Mike is supplying the Irish comestibles for our Saturday morning gathering here at The Cave. He commutes to the DC area from here in Orlando in the course of his work, which if he told you anything about, he would have to kill you. That’s how salesmen think.

Drozz, ever the optimist bleeding blue and white, also likes the Lions to finish the season 9-3, but he has them losing the opener to UCF. He’s a lawyer with an advanced degree and is a former PSU football blogger who gave it all up for marriage and a career. He’s also responsible for the Redskins’ trademark being revoked. That’s how lawyers think. One great thing is that Drozz knows about the wild and scenic Wekiva River, one of my favorite Central Florida paddling spots.

Then, of course, there are the usual suspects, Big Al, Joe, and K. John. I have no idea what the hell their credentials are, other than that at least two of them played football. Therefore, to level the playing field, how about some thumbnail bios, guys? Otherwise, you can come here on Saturday and join the Nittany Lions Croke Breakfast Club, bringing whatever food and beverage suits you, in order to introduce yourselves personally.

 

I’ll be back later in the week with my take on the forthcoming UCF game, the first and last Croke Park Classic. As you can see, with little evidence to proceed on thus far, our panel is split on this one, pretty much like the pundits at large. 

Season Predictions by the Turkey Panel of Experts

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The season’s predictions from The Nittany Turkey’s team of experts are now in, and I want to present them all here before the season starts.

Game Big Al Joe K. John TNT
UCF L W W L
Akron W W W L
Rutgers L W W W
Umass W W W W
Northwestern W W W W
Michigan L L W L
Ohio State L L L L
Maryland L W W W
Indiana W L W W
Temple W W W W
Illinois W W W W
Michigan State L L L L
Season 6-6 8-4 10-2 7-5

Big Al opines that the team will have a rocky year, while K. John believes that due to strength of schedule (or lack of same), they’ll drop only two games, namely Ohio State and Moo U. Joe and this turkey are somewhere in between, with Joe being the more sanguine of the two of us.

There is a consistent feeling among the Turkey pundits, albeit without any concrete evidence to suggest it, that Penn State will become bowl eligible this year. All the above predictions would create bowl eligibility. Big Al and K. John made no venue prediction. Joe proposed that the Pinstripe Bowl would be a likely venue, and Pitt a potential opponent. TNT feels that the facetiously named, mythical Toilet Bowl in Kohler, Wisconsin is the appropriate bowl game to which the Nittany Lions can aspire.

Anyone else want to get in on game-by-game season predictions? Like it or lump it, I’ll give your predictions a mention after each game in my recap. Just get them to me before Croke Park.