With Nero fiddling in Washington, this Mouse turns to watching Rome burn. Being too disgusted by the corrupt institution there calling itself a congress, and a president who seems oblivious to what the country really needs, it’s time once again for this blog to crank up its American Idol bullshit! A little comic relief is in store, for a change.

We’re down to the final thirteen contestants. How the hell did it become thirteen? I thought it was supposed to be twelve. This year has been confusing to this Mouse. Humans seem to want to change things all the time. We mice just do four things: eat, sleep, get laid, and die. But we do them well. Humans, I guess, are more complex. They want to keep changing things. But I mousegress.

Thirteen finalists in this, the eighth season of American Idol, aspire to join the ranks of the motley crue [sic] of past winners. Let’s see if I can remember them all. Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks, David Cook (the guy with the built-in yarmulke) , and who else? That’s only six. Let me look it up. Oh, yeah. I missed Fantasia Barrino in Season 3. Never liked her.

Anyhow, the thirteen hopefuls this year are: Adam Lambert, Alexis Grace, Allison Iraheta, Anoop Desai, Danny Gokey, Jasmine Murray, Jorge Nuñez, Kris Allen, Lil Rounds, Matt Giraud, Megan Joy, Michael Sarver, and Scott MacIntyre. They range in age from 16 to 27. ??? ???? ?? ?????? There are five girls, seven boys, and one about whom I’m not completely sure. We even have a blind guy. Throw in an Indian, a Puerto Rican, and an oil rig roughneck, and you’ll conclude that the Idol folks certainly got an eclectic bunch together this year!

That one would be Adam Lambert, who somebody described as a cross between Freddie Mercury and Prince. Although that union might have been plausible, this mouse doubts that it would have produced any offspring.

We have four significant hotties this year, from this Mouse’s perspective. I knocked Allison out of contention for the favorite Season Eight hottie, not because she’s only 16, but because she ain’t my type.(Yeah, I know she is a redhead, but she doesn’t do anything for me.) I much prefer Alexis’ mousy look. Jasmine is only 16, but she has a winning smile. Lil is just plain sexy, but this Mouse is going to have a great deal of difficulty choosing between the two blondes: the aforementioned Alexis Grace and the superhot Megan Joy. Megan has tattoos all the way up her right arm straight to her damn shoulder. I objected to that last year with Amy Carlson, but it sure as hell looks good on Megan. The other blonde, Alexis, is a little girl with a huge voice. ???? ????? I would be surprised if she didn’t go very far this year (if she can stay on pitch).

Of the guys, I bet Adam goes the farthest. He is bound to be a teen and tween favorite because of his looks, and he handles himself well on stage. Jorge’s sincerity, spirit, and handsome smile will serve him well. There’s something for everybody in this rogues’ gallery. If you like blue collar types, Michael Sarver, who works on an oil rig, should make you happy. ???? ????? Scott MacIntyre is the blind guy—I have three relatives who live it his house (see how they run?) – and he can play and sing well. He’s developed a following through the auditions and elimination rounds.

So, we’re almost done with the long build-up. I hope we get down to the final eight quickly, so we can really start cooking. Of course, they are milking this thing as much as they can.