The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Your Mileage May Suck

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I’m procrastinating this morning, so I’m just going to rant about something that sticks in my craw: the use of the stupid-ass, bureaucratspeak phrase “your mileage may vary” to mean “your experience might be different”.

The EPA started this crap. The language originated when EPA fuel economy ratings were mandated for new cars. Essentially, the EPA and auto manufacturers were saying that the ratings are developed under ideal circumstances and, depending on a driver’s habits, there could be a significant variance from the EPA bogey.

So, what the hell does that have to do with picture quality of a TV? Among other places, I’ve seen the phrase used in the context of electronic equipment reviews. I’m really happy to know that the new TV I’m wanting to buy gets 30 mpg, but now you’re telling me that if I have a heavy hand on the remote, it might get a lot less? That might be a deal breaker. I guess I won’t get a gasoline powered TV after all.

Following the progression from trite, overused phrase to trite, overused acronym, you’ll find that on geek and even non-geek message boards, blogs, and comment threads, the term is abbreviated to “ymmv” and is frequently followed by one of the following so-called emoticons: 🙂 or ;). Just in case you encounter this nonsense, you’ll know what the hell it means.

Perhaps our President-elect might want to devote some of his precious time to regulating verbal abominations in everyday usage.

This post is brought to you by the Coalition to Regulate Abhorrent Phrases On Line Andotherwise (C.R.A.P.O.L.A.).

That said…

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Take all I have written heretofore with a grain of salt. Now I’ll tell you what I really want you to believe. This is my verbal ploy to show you that I have examined all sides of the issue, whether or not I actually have done so, and introduce my real feeling at the tail end, using the obnoxiously vogue and increasingly trite lead-in “that said.”

Class, the subject of my rant today was going to be “that said.” The subject phrase’s overuse has been getting on my nerves for perhaps ten years. Through this poultry platform, I have previously written about vogue phrases such as “it is what it is,” “it is all good,” and “not a problem,” but those were colloquialisms, while “that said” has found its way into stilted journalistic prose and into the annoying inscriptions of those who would emulate the stilted journalists—even bloggers. 🙂

“That said” has been kicking around for some time now, coming from the same clowns who gave us the non-epidemiological meaning (or vague lack of same) of the term “tipping point.” While the latter phrase might be used metaphorically to colorfully illustrate a point, the only use of “that said” is to flag a terminal thought as overridingly valid, essentially negating the verbal vacillation leading up to it. Real words such as “however” and “nevertheless” are being replaced by this abomination and your Turkey doesn’t like it! So, yes, that was what I was going to write about today.

That said, in doing research about “that said,” I came across a New York Times piece written almost six years ago by the great William Safire that covers the subject more thoroughly, more humorously, and more conclusively than this Pretend-O-Turkey could ever hope to. If you are as interested in the evolution of our language as I am and you lament the overuse of these vogue constructs as much as this irascible old Turkey, you must read Safire’s article.