There’s breaking news about a rape incident involving a female student, alcohol, and possibly—just possibly—a member of the Nittany Lion football team. No further news is expected until tomorrow morning and speculation abounds, as one would expect. I will not mention the names brought up in rumors, but I will say that the offense could take a hit (or not) if what I’ve been reading turns out to be true. Initial story with sketchy details here.
Drawing a Blank
For a couple of days I’ve been thinking of just what in the hell I can write about the upcoming Iowa game. The title of this post says it all—the nondescript nature of this game has left me flapping in the breeze. (And the breeze is a noxious gaseous cloud.) I’ve written enough about A-Mo and our coaching suckage. Alas, Iowa sucks just about as badly. So, between these two Big Ten cellar dwellers, what can I write that would be worth reading? Not much.
One thing I definitely cannot do is say much about what The Alan Greenspan of Coaching said at his press conference Tuesday. Paterno’s non-responses were classically obfuscatory. He sneered at the press, essentially telling the reporters to go to hell without mouthing the actual words, as has been his press conference pattern increasingly over the past decade. Nevertheless, one thing is for sure. We will see no significant changes.
Stick to the facts, you say. OK, here are the sad facts. The Penn State Nittany Lions (3-2, 0-2 Big Ten) meet the Iowa Hawkeyes (2-3, 0-2 Big Ten) on Saturday at 3:30 PM at Beaver Stadium. The Hawkeyes bring a defensive unit ranked #9 in the Division Formerly Known as I-A (PSU’s defense is ranked 7th in the division). On the other side of the ball, neither team has any semblance of a functional offense, with Iowa and Penn State ranked 92 and 60, respectively, in total offense. Where Iowa excels is in taking care of the ball. They are presently the Big Ten leader in turnover margin. I guess if you have nothing but three-and-outs, you don’t have much of an opportunity to turn the ball over. In contrast to Iowa, this is an area in which the Nittany Lions suck big time, ranking 7th in the conference. Where Penn State excels is in punting the football, the one category in which the Nittany Lions actually lead the conference. Finally, although both teams are officially unranked, in College Football News‘ overall ranking of 119 teams in TDFKAI-A, Penn State is ranked #49 versus Iowa’s #59. Oh, boy—this is a must watch game!
Throw out the first three games for PSU and the defense really doesn’t hold up to that #7 ranking. Neither does the offense keep even its crappy, middle-of-the-pack #60 ranking, given that the Nittany Lions scored a meager 29 points in the past two games against Michigan and Illinois. Iowa hasn’t exactly been tearing the place up, having beaten only Northern Illinois and Syracuse, while losing close ones to Iowa State (they suck) and Wisconsin (they don’t), and being blown out by Indiana. Indiana!
Iowa was looked upon as a contender for the Big Ten title at the beginning of the year, particularly because they don’t have to play either Michigan or Ohio State this year. Well, any semblance of a contending team went out the window in the loss to Indiana. Now, they occupy the Big Ten cellar with Northwestern, Minnesota, and (gulp!) Penn State. And Iowa’s injuries keep mounting. Things are not looking good for the Hawkeyes.
The gamblers have installed Penn State as the early nine point favorites. Home field is usually good for three points in itself. The over/under is one of the lowest I’ve ever encountered: 38. (This is the expected number of points scored by both teams.) So, given those two numbers, Las Vegas is predicting a 24-14 outcome or thereabouts.
Frankly, I don’t know if either team can score a touchdown at this stage. That sucks, doesn’t it? You know, looking ahead in the schedule, the only remaining game we can count on winning is Temple. However, with no changes, our low-octane offense will continue to stink up the place. Our curmudgeonly old head coach will work hard to maintain the status quo of mediocrity.
So, that brings us to the Official Turkey Poop Prediction! Hmm, let’s see…no offense…no offense…No Offense! Remember this game? Of course you do. It was that great 2004 6-4 loss to Iowa. What are the prospects of a similarly boring game this year? Significantly high—it’s just that there’ll be a couple of minor changes. I don’t think two safeties in a game is a very common occurrence at any level of football so I don’t expect that we can replicate the “4” number. However, we know that both offenses suck. Iowa’s just takes care of the ball much better than PSU does. So it will be a low scoring game and Jeremy Boone will get lots of opportunities to win the so-called battle of field position. I was going to predict a 6-4 win for PSU, but I’m sitting here talking myself out of it. I’ll go with PSU 9, Iowa 6. So, please, give me a hard time about it if I’m wrong!
This should be an exciting one. So take plenty of valium before the game to calm yourself down. This Turkey intends to get pretty mellow while watching it. I can hardly wait!
Share this:
Sayin’ What’s on Mah Mind
And since I’m saying what’s on my mind, I’m going to curse just as my mind suggests I should. And I’m going to go ad hominem on ya, too. So, if you are easily offended, do not read on.
Penn State lost a crucial road game to Illinois today. The final score was 27-20. It sucked.
Look at the bright side. We put 20 points on them. Coincidentally, so did Syracuse, in an earlier contest. SO, big deal!
Morelli sucks. He bites the big one. He is a liability.
At least one of my fellow bloggers has declared that he’s sick and tired of the knocks on Morelli, particularly those pertaining to his intelligence, declaring it racial stereotyping or some such bullshit. Yeah, right. This guy must be Morelli’s brother-in-law or something. ????? ??? ???? Wait, Morelli’s brother-in-law knows he’s stupid. But I digress. There have been no quarterbacks of Italian heritage who actually were smart, right? Guys with distinguished pro careers like Marino, Testaverde, and Pastorini were not idiots. We didn’t hear too many complaints about Tony Sacca (except maybe when he threw that interception against Miami). No, this is strictly a knock on Morelli. If he were black, he’d be an idiot; if he were Jewish, he’d be an idiot; and if he were a WASP, he’d be an idiot. He’s just an idiot, and he needs to sit. Besides that, he’s an immature schmuck who couldn’t lead a girl scout troop—and yet somehow he was chosen as a tri-captain of this team.
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisburger attributed some of this year’s success to he perception that the game has slowed down for him. Analogously, it must be true that the game has sped up for Morelli. He doesn’t read coverages, doesn’t see open receivers, and he doesn’t react to pressure.
People blame the coaches for the crappy game plan. Sorry, but if you handed Morelli a perfect game plan, he’d screw it up. Morelli would fuck up a free lunch. Throwing three crucial interceptions would be bad enough, but this asshole, for the second week in a row, allegedly taunted the opponent’s fans with obscene gestures and his big, stupid mouth. Sit the fucker down, Paterno. Let us declare the Morelli Era OVER. Goddamnit—what the hell does it take to make a change on this team?
This was Illinois’ first win against a ranked opponent since 2001. WTF?? Is this a distinction this team wants? Where the hell are we going from here?
This time, the offensive game plan was not all that bad. Although there were a couple of shaky calls, this one was on the guys on the field. This loss was on Morelli.
The defense proved that they, too, were not as wonnnnnderful as all you Rebeccas of Sunnybrook Farms thought they were. Come on, folks. They gave up over 300 yards and 20 points. Freelancing is anathema to defending an option offense. Defenders have to stick with their assignments, watch their lanes. Ours didn’t. Furthermore, the missed tackles were atrocious. These guys are not that great. However, let me not dwell on our defense, for it is the offensive offense that is the diffuse focus of this sharply dull excoriation.
Jesus, what does it take to make some changes on the offense? Morelli has that canon of an arm, but he cannot throw accurately, he stares down his primary receiver, and he can’t move in the pocket to save his own ass. In other words, stupid. Couple all that with taunting fans in losing efforts at both Michigan and Illinois, and he needs to be picking pine splinters out of his ass.
I don’t think our coaching staff is likely to do anything about Morelli. Joe likes to reward his patient seniors, you know. OK, so if nothing is done about Morelli and the offense’s general suckage, we’re looking at 6-4 against Iowa next week, and we get the four.
Could this offense (or lack of same) be any more exasperating? Even so, if we had a positive sign from the coaches, like sitting Morelli, we might be able to maintain some level of interest. However, if changes are not made, it is not only the fans, but also the team that will be affected. Negative attitudes are pernicious and destructive.
Instead of team leadership, there is a vacuum. Morelli is not suited to lead; Golden was also implicated in the fan taunting at Michigan. ????? ???? ??????? These guys are captains. That’s leadership? Only high school geeks playing electronic football games would consider that leadership. There is no real senior leadership other than Connor on defense. The offense is flapping in the breeze, leaderless.
Losses to Wisconsin, Ohio State, Michigan State, and, perhaps, Iowa now seem likely. Hell, Purdue, too—this offense sure as hell can’t put up enough points to beat the Boilermakers! If the team psyche has gone down the toilet, we could see even more losses. I was an idiot to think that this team would only lose to Michigan and Wisconsin this year. My 10-2 pre-season prediction must have been formulated during an acid trip. ?????? ?????? ?????? This damn team could go 5-7, with a 1-7 Big Ten record. Sorry, but we can’t fly with the big birds. Not this year. Not for a long time.
We have an ineffectual offensive line, a quarterback who is a moron, and no leadership on offense. What happens now?
Share this:
Share this:
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 398
- 399
- 400
- 401
- 402
- …
- 469
- Next Page »